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Aug 18, 2018 4:25 PM
mmm whatcha say
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we don't want to wait a year to see how Marvel fixes this
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"Boy Thor, that's weirder than boy me... unless they're just different people of the same names, which, stranger things have happened. Anyway, Cam," Cam lights up in the illusion, "can conjure arbitrary material objects including in a way that means this power can act as a search function and most importantly he can do it from any number of steps away on the map of the multiverse as long as he knows about the existence of the world he's searching to quantify over it - did that make sense? -"

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"I was just assuming you had a Heimdall who liked looking rather than listening but sure, okay. So he can check whether our Loki is dead -"

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"Heimdall doesn't work even one step away on the map. Yes, Cam can check if he's dead and he can also check if he's a Bell because being a member of a template turns out to be a conjurable parameter. - what's your name, your software calls you 'sir' -"

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"Tony Stark. I doubt you have me. You'd have heard of me."

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"Well, pleased to meet you, wish it were better circumstances, who knows maybe you're five years old in a preindustrial civ somewhere, when things are settled down we can check as a courtesy if you like."

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"I hope not, I have no idea what I'd do with a five-year-old. Make sure no one murdered his parents, maybe." Something on rockets comes arcing out of the sky towards them. 

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"Friendly?" she asks of the rocket thing.

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"Yeah, that's our care package. Should have -" its thrusters cut out abruptly, dumping a package at their feet - "nanites to patch my suit with and a big book of flashcards for you if you pinky-swear you're not gonna conquer the planet right this minute."

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"Asgardians aren't the ones who swear binding oaths but I promise I do not want your planet and definitely don't want it on that schedule."

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"Great! You are my favorite Loki." He picks something out of the care package and appears to just push it directly into his chest. "You'd be my favorite Loki even if you wanted to conquer the planet, I can use 'hot chick' as a tiebreaker, but you're my favorite Loki without the need to resort to any tiebreakers." He picks something else out of the care package. It's a tablet. "Next stop right outside Wakanda, I think, unless you've thought of something we should do first."

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"I don't think I've heard of Wakanda, is that a city, I don't think I've read a list of all the cities -" She takes the tablet.

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"Country. They might not let us in but we can stand at the border and yell and maybe someone will pass it on. F.R.I.D.A.Y., show us somewhere near the border -"

The tablet shows some empty African savanna.

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"I did read a list of all the - you know I can teleport, right, do they have antimagic or is this just one of those 'knock politely' things -"

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"I doubt they have anti-teleporters but I don't doubt they'd shoot at us. Besides, yeah, it's rude."

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"Okay then." She touches his arm and they pop. "Illusions do audio if yelling normally doesn't work."

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The border outside Wakanda is littered with dead bodies. Not human ones. Some of them are charred and some of them are smoking slightly and some of them have gaping wounds. 

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" - if there's still fighting then I think I'll risk being rude, can you pop me in without going yourself -"

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"No, sorry, this spell was developed under emergency conditions and it's hacky."

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"How are you in a fight, from 'it's a better idea to have you there anyway' to 'I will spend all my time keeping you safe and still might fail and then your buddies will be sad' -"

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She pulls Lævateinn off her belt and glaives it. "I'm good even without the magic, how much did you say you knew about Asgardians - maybe yours are different - anyway I don't have a non-reductionist soul, they can get me right back, though then you'll have to wait for us to find your world. If something gets through my being indestructible, but an infinity stone might, haven't tested that."

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"If Thanos is there we should bounce straight back out. Back to Titan, maybe, to minimize collateral damage if he does follow us. If Thanos isn't there then still be careful, you're plan A for getting off this planet."

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"What's he look like?"

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"Big. Purple. Too much chin."

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"Gotcha. Pity I leave my Tesseract home, maybe it'd work here - where to?"

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He points past the bodies at some tranquil forested area totally devoid of bodies. "There."

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