"Now will you come in?"

"Yes. We have some things to discuss, and we probably shouldn't say them in the open air." She heads inside, letting the door close behind her. 

April leads the way back to Pippi's desk and announces, "Mr. Stabby from the funeral showed up to invite me to, uh," she looks at the picture on her phone to find out what it was he invited her to exactly.

The title of the event (though the ink on the card has run slightly due to saliva) clearly reads "Lombardy Convocation." 

"...the 'Lombardy Convocation', whatever that is."

IT'S ESSENTIALLY A CONFERENCE FOR PEOPLE IN YOUR UNCLE'S LINE OF WORK. 

"Hoo boy." She looks at Morrison. "Also, was that general-purpose sexual harassment, or do you have a history with this guy?"

"We dated briefly." 

"Well, truly who among us has never dated a large violent weirdo. Anyway! What the fuck is happening, generally?"

"Where would you like to start?" She glances at Pippi. "With the cats? Or something else?" 

"I am pretty curious about the cats, yeah."

She nods. "Essentially, they are useful to your uncle's business. Human and electronic intelligence gathering are difficult, but no one suspects a cat." 

"...ooookay. So. My uncle's business was crime?"

"I wouldn't say that," Morrison says. "Your uncle's vocation was to seek out, fund, and create the sort of technologies and services that bring disruptive change to existing industrial and social paradigms, and offer them, on a confidential basis, to interested businesses and governments." 

"So, crime."

I BELIEVE PEOPLE IN HIS BUISNESS SOMETIMES PREFER THE TERM VILLIAN.

"We don't use that word in public," Morrison says, looking slightly pointedly at the screen, "But essentially, yes." 

"I guess that explains the spy cats. Okay. So. The only aspect of this whole situation that I in any way give a shit about is Pippi, but I do like Pippi quite a lot, so I will provisionally refrain from googling 'where is the best place to become a lumberjack'. That having been said, I'm going to need self-defense lessons, because apparently when a huge dude comes at me with a knife I lose all sense of fear and if this kind of shit is going to keep happening I'd better start being able to back that up."

"Hiding in the woods as a lumberjack might confuse them for a while, but they're very good at finding people. As you can see by how Tobais just showed up here with an invitation." She frowns unhappily. "They're after you because they think you're going to be running your uncle's business, and are likely to ignore evidence to the contrary at this point. You will be a lot safer coming with us, and running your uncle's business." 

WE HAVE A VOLCANO ISLAND LAIR, WHICH IS PRETTY SAFE GEOGRAPHICALLY. THERE ARE ALSO ADDITIONAL PROTECTIONS AVAILABLE THERE THAT ARE NOT MOST OTHER PLACES. 

"...a volcano island lair is admittedly pretty cool but civilization was a mistake and there is no amount of cool lairs that will convince me otherwise."

"Sorry, civilization was a mistake?"

SHE'S STILL CONSIDERING BEING A LUMBERJACK. SHE'S NOT BEING LITERAL. 

"Oh."

"If you become a lumberjack your life expectancy will be measured in weeks, if not days. At the very least you need to go to the Lombardy Convocation, and we need to prep you for that. Including self defense lessons if you want them, though we do have various methods of keeping you safe, including Pippi herself. And your uncle did leave you his business, assuming you chose to stand for him at the funeral. Which you did, and stood up to Tobias, apparently." 

"That sounds like it's going to involve so much wearing nice dresses and being polite to people who annoy me."