"Huh. Valar. If you're not one of Ulmo's I'm allowed to say that to you, right?"

"Well, Ulmo's keeping us alive. With nothing but lobsters, and didn't do anything about the orcs, but still. If one of his messengers came by, I wouldn't talk about how badly the Valar are falling down on the job here, you know? And I wouldn't say it to Elu 'cause he has his girl. But you aren't serving an Ainu or married to one, I take it."

"I am not. You may complain arbitrarily much about Powers and I will assume no offense."

"I'm sure they're trying," she says. "But I'm sure housekeeping's trying and I'll still fire them if the house isn't clean, and I'm sure the guards are trying but we measure success in dead orcs, not in effort."

"Valar seem difficult to fire. And probably more difficult still to replace."

"Dunno, they could give Ulmo a promotion, he's been pretty on the ball. Except on the communication front, but we all have our flaws. He says he opposed releasing Morgoth on parole, too."

"Oh, I hadn't realized there was anything less than consensus on that one."

"Nope, they were apparently very internally divided. There are twelve of them, you know, they don't just have separate domains, they also have separate opinions. Some of them opposed taking Elves to Valinor in the first."

"I would dearly love to see a record of all their arguments, I bet it would make fascinating reading."

"You and me, sweetie. Lobster's ready."

Mmm, lobster. Loki attempts to be cued by her hostess for table manners.

Her hostess has none; she uses her teeth to help peel off the shell, uses both hands. Pulls a pin out of her pocket at one point to crack open a lobster leg.

Oh, well, that's convenient, because Loki isn't sure there is a polite way to eat a whole lobster. Nom nom nom.

"The last time I saw Lúthien she was up to my waist," Meril says wistfully. "She grew even slower than an Elf. Beautiful girl. Inside and out."

"She's extremely charismatic," Loki says.

"Well, take someone talented and give them literally no other avenue to be useful -" She snorts and takes a bite of lobster. "Elu's a good man, just needs more common sense and isn't around anyone who could offer it."

"I can't disagree," Loki says.

"I think raising children as royalty is, in general, very close to child abuse," she says, "here or in Valinor. No matter how you try, they have so little room and so few opportunities -"

"Well, there are pros and cons," Loki says. "I think I'd chalk most of it up to cultural and parental factors and not royalty in particular."

"I'm not sure. Blond-dog's one of Finwë's, right? Did it make his life any easier or any happier?'

"Blond-dog is one of Finwë's grandchildren, and that family has problems that I definitely could not begin to reduce to their status as royalty, although that allowed it to spiral to ludicrous proportions."

She laughs. "I'd say - there you go, then - but I have no particular desire for blond-dog or any of Finwë's to meet misfortune. Problems that could be solved with common sense? Or with lobster? Those are about the only tools at my disposal."

"I'm trying to apply common sense as best I can. I don't have any immediate ideas for ways to apply lobster."

"We also have swords," she says.