He reads it, expressionless and very nearly motionless. "Thank you. Moringotto is directly involved in the running of Angband, though most of his work happened outside my hearing because there is some kind of magic at work that dulls Elven senses, possibly placed specifically on prisoners or possibly ambient. There are several hundred prisoners; the average lifespan may actually be as long as two decades, because we are resilient and difficult to accidentally kill and you only rarely execute prisoners. All rescue attempts fail because the area has a lot of orcs, prisoners are never held in a way that would make it possible to just cut them free and when they are transported there are usually Maiar present. You allowed 'escapes' sometimes to encourage future rescue attempts, but you stopped that once it became clear my family wouldn't be baited into it. I think there are around 400,000 orcs, but this is a rough estimate based on the percentage of orcs I encountered in one context who I'd see again later and could be off by an order of magnitude in either direction if I failed to understand your assignment rotation. Balrogs explode when they die and kill everything within about ten meters. Moringotto wears the Silmarils on his brow, even though they constantly burn him."

Loki writes all this down. "Exploding Balrogs, damned inconvenient, I don't habitually carry anything that far-ranged, hate managing ammunition... Thor'd be better suited... Thank you. Although I'd be obliged if you'd talk about the Enemy in the third person." She tucks the transcription into her notebook. "Done with the Irissë conversation? Should I keep it, are you likely to want to read it again - or erase it?"

"I am unlikely to desire to read it again."

Loki dismisses it. "Nolofinwë had some reservations about strategically informing you in any way because he still thinks you're generally untrustworthy, but I know better and he said I could show his transcript too on my recognizance. You want his next or Findekáno's?"

"...what do you mean 'I know better?' I told them the ships would come back, and the ships did not. I would like to read his, though."

Out comes Nolofinwë's transcript. "I mean, one of your brothers, I've forgotten which but could probably figure it out by process of elimination if you really want to know, told me that you didn't participate in setting the boats on fire. Honestly, not even those fucking oaths you people have keep tormenting you if you simply do not happen to succeed at a thing. As I understand them, I suppose I could have misunderstood them."

"They do not. But if someone is concerned with my reliability, results are more important than symbolic acts of protest, and in any event I cannot tell them that I didn't do it." He reads impassively. "Thank you."

"Can I tell them you didn't do it? I've been holding my tongue on your brother's recommendation but I keep having to say things like 'so I've heard'."

"No. My brother recommended correctly. You purport to be from a society with a King and Queen; would it be to your advantage to make it publicly known among your family's enemies that you openly disobeyed your mother on something important?"

"...I'm pretty sure I did in fact tell you the story of my life. Did I forget that part?"

"You told me the backstory you developed for this bizarre character to patch over the parts of the hallucination you haven't been able to make plausible, yes. That is how I identified that it was your mother who you'd be relevantly disobeying."

"So, the reason I am not at home is because she temporarily exiled me to think over how dreadful it was that I healed my father when assassins shot at him, did I mention that? I mean, I didn't bandy it about in public beforehand but that was mostly because I wanted to preserve my various opportunities and maybe be queen one day myself, not because a princess in violation of her gender role would have strengthened the frost giants or something. Anyway, I can't think it's that much better for whatever reputation you're trying to preserve to have everyone think you play fast and loose with the truth."

"This touches too closely on things I can't tell you. My answer is no."

"Can I swear Findekáno to secrecy and tell him? He's - well." She pulls the transcript.

He reads it impassively, again. "I do not dislike your company."

"Could've fooled me."

"I don't think it's advantageous for Findekáno to trust me. People will expect him to be biased in that direction, and if he tries to act in any meaningful strategic respect on the assumption I'm trustworthy, they'll stop him and he will lose credibility. And he'll be pointlessly unhappy."

"What, do you think he's happy now? You're in approximately untreatable psychological torment and even thinking you burned the boats with the others he still - whatever it is the two of you are to each other -" handwave, "and the only thing he can do for you is give you a knife so you can kill yourself if you have to, and he can't even bring it to you himself, and you think it is somehow better for him to be going through all this while thinking it's stupid and disloyal and hypocritical of him to do so?"

"No, I don't." He sighs. "You realize that everything you just described is disturbing, not virtuous? It is not healthy for Findekáno or conducive to his goals for him to be miserable with devotion to someone who betrayed him. It is wrong to take advantage of that kind of personal weakness. I don't know how to avoid doing it, but I should be trying to."

"I didn't say it was virtuous, but I like Findekáno and I would like him to be less conflicted as long as he is in fact mistaken about the principal source of his conflict. Look, I think it's pretty likely he can avoid making any strategic decisions that hinge on your trustworthiness, especially since here you are, not issuing any pronouncements that he has to decide whether to believe or not! If he has a weird look on his face when third parties disparage your character I think everybody already knows what to attribute that to! And the weakness in question is not having been mistaken in the first place when he decided to trust you, and having difficult-to-revoke trust - qualities which go very well together until someone decides to lie about the actions of the trusted person."

"He might not believe you. If you tell him in confidence that I said I didn't burn the ships, he might reasonably conclude that I am trying to rearrange the political situation in my favor. That is the sort of lie I would tell, if I were in fact a liar in the first place."

"I suppose that's possible. I mean, I can tell him your brother said it first, but your brother wouldn't appreciate that. Nor confirm it, though I can't see Findekáno going to ask him." She shakes her head. "If I find myself at a point where I think he would believe me?"

"It was still my fault. Don't tell him I said that it wasn't my fault, or that I didn't betray him. You may tell him if you think the situation warrants it that I said I did not take part in it." He pauses. "Is he well, other than worrying for me?"

"Other than that he seems fine."

"Thank you. I appreciate the degree to which you're making this experience pleasant even when it sacrifices plausibility."