This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Ari's been bouncing around the world fighting demonic horrors and fae creatures and Mothers know what else for over half a century, at a conservative estimate. He's not so naïve as to say he's seen it all, but he's seen most. He's seen a lot of it dead, too.
One thing he absolutely has not seen is that fucking thing. Giant snake with a mirror for a head. Nonresponsive to attempts to communicate, thrashing about wrecking traffic light and such, and thus: probably Bad News. Bad News which probably calls for murder. Luckily, Ari's good at that.
Planning... perhaps less so.
In retrospect, "punch the obviously supernatural mirror" was not what one might call the best idea.
But there's little enough time to worry about that; he's landed. Ow. What the hell did he land on?
bitterchill
bitterchill
"Interesting. Come to think of it we have had some animals like that, but they're definitely the exception rather than the rule, and I don't think anyone's checked them for souls."
bitterchill
"Easiest way is through a soulgaze - if a wizard looks into the eyes of someone with a soul for more than a couple of seconds, they simultaneously go on this very vague symbolic vision-questy thing through each other's souls and understand things about who the other is. But you can't, like, see their thoughts or something."
bitterchill
"Compared to the other things we've been weirded out by in this conversation, it's kind of small potatoes."
bitterchill
Ari's stomach grumbles as he shelves The Joy of Hex: 150 Prank Spells for Every Occasion.
"Speaking of potatoes... Any food around here? Preferably not hay?"
"Speaking of potatoes... Any food around here? Preferably not hay?"
allcomplete
"Humans don't like hay? I mean, we eat a variety of things, but I don't know what you eat."
bitterchill
"I've never personally tried it, but I'm pretty sure we don't have the stomach acid for any kind of grass that hasn't been processed into flour. Things we eat... Meat is big, but I'm guessing ponies don't have a lot of that. We can eat fruit, corn, spinach, bugs- lots of stuff. Might be easier for me to look at a menu and rule stuff out."
allcomplete
"Okay. Fruit and corn and spinach and flour are all available. Bugs you might have to catch yourself if you want them."
bitterchill
"Bugs are not my all-time favorite food, don't worry. Included for completeness only. Want to go get something to eat?"
allcomplete
"Sure. You'll be looked at strangely, but as long as you don't bother anypony, ponies will probably just assume you're a really exotic visitor."
bitterchill
"'Anypony.' Your dialect is... It'd probably be offensive to say 'adorable,' but your dialect is adorable. Lead the way, at any rate. Any joy on that shrinking spell?"
allcomplete
"If you want to eat now instead of in an hour, I'll have to come back and look for it a little harder then, but we can find you an outdoor café and you can sit on the ground?"
allcomplete
"All right. There's a place with a pretty good selection about two blocks from here." She trots to the library's exit, opening the door with her teal teekay.
bitterchill
"Nice!"
Ari ducks under the frame. "So, what do you study at Gifted Unicorn School? Just magic stuff?"
Ari ducks under the frame. "So, what do you study at Gifted Unicorn School? Just magic stuff?"
allcomplete
"There's some general education at the lower levels, but yes, the specialty is magic."
Outside are lots of pastel ponies. Unicorns and pegasi and earth ponies. Ari gets a lot of weird looks, but since he isn't doing anything threatening and is accompanied by a totally normal pony, no one gives them any trouble.
Outside are lots of pastel ponies. Unicorns and pegasi and earth ponies. Ari gets a lot of weird looks, but since he isn't doing anything threatening and is accompanied by a totally normal pony, no one gives them any trouble.
bitterchill
"Neat. Earth doesn't so much have magic schools; I just got tutored by my foster mother, who focused mostly on, uh, stuff that was conducive to monster hunting."
Ari grins irrepressibly in response to any and all weird looks he receives. (What does he care if he looks kind of weird? He's the beige ape here.)
Ari grins irrepressibly in response to any and all weird looks he receives. (What does he care if he looks kind of weird? He's the beige ape here.)
bitterchill
Blech. Vegetarianism. But apparently most of this world's animals are plausibly sentient, so he'll suck it up.
He picks out a spinach pie and some variety of fruit tart, then turns to Clarity. "Do you guys have any kind of barter system, or should you pay and I pay you back when I have money, or what? I've got a handful of assorted gemstones, but those usually aren't currency, and I think they're probably worth a bit more than a café lunch."
He picks out a spinach pie and some variety of fruit tart, then turns to Clarity. "Do you guys have any kind of barter system, or should you pay and I pay you back when I have money, or what? I've got a handful of assorted gemstones, but those usually aren't currency, and I think they're probably worth a bit more than a café lunch."
allcomplete
"Gemstones can be pretty readily traded for bits, but I can buy you lunch until you know more about your long-term financial situation."
bitterchill
"Well, that's very kind. If nothing else I can dig up a heap of rubies to throw at the market, but with any luck I can get some kind of monster-hunting retainer. Unless you don't have any monsters, in which case I guess I could go into architecture or something."
allcomplete
"I mean, no one will complain if you go out and bother some hydras, but I'm not sure it's a budget item." She munches her apple arugula salad.
bitterchill
Ari consumes his foodstuffs at a horrifying rate.
"Well, we'll see. By the way, are there any types of animal that are just categorically not-people? Just out of curiosity." And carnivorous tendencies, but there's no reason to distress the herbivores if he can help it.
"Well, we'll see. By the way, are there any types of animal that are just categorically not-people? Just out of curiosity." And carnivorous tendencies, but there's no reason to distress the herbivores if he can help it.