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Ivan has gone and gotten lost in this stupidly large house. The party's turnout hasn't spilled upstairs yet, so he can't ask for directions to the stairwell after having got turned around finding the lav, so he's opening doors. This is a closet. That is someone's office. That room has partially clothed people in it and they aren't pleased to see him. "Sorry." This room -
...the fuck?
It's not a stairwell, but when Ivan eventually finds the stairwell, if the hostess doesn't ask him not to steal her cool house contents that she meant to show off herself, he's going to present to somebody who needs impressing it as his own discovery. Which it is; he discovered it. In he goes to this oddly spacious empty bar.
middlingalong
middlingalong
"It might look the same and feel different if some prankster had decided to lock us in Alexei's weird bar room for a laugh, but point taken."
palmofyourhand
He gives Ivan a look, like it is not even possible to measure the depth of idiocy Ivan has just displayed.
middlingalong
"Mostly your looking at me like I had sprouted a talking cat out of my forehead. Seriously, where did you get one of those? Jackson's Whole?"
palmofyourhand
"Ugh," says the talking cat.
"She's my daemon," says the human, rolling his eyes. "I didn't get her anywhere, I was born with her."
"She's my daemon," says the human, rolling his eyes. "I didn't get her anywhere, I was born with her."
palmofyourhand
"I was born with a soul, who settled into the form of a cat when I was thirteen," he says. "You apparently don't have one at all. Maybe that's why you're so thick."
middlingalong
"Excuse me! On my planet we do not have cat souls! Same with other planets of my acquaintance, you're acting like this is some extremely commonplace thing!"
palmofyourhand
"Well excuse me," he says, rolling his eyes again, "I don't know where the fuck you're from but on Earth you'd be a zombie."
middlingalong
"I've bloody been to Earth and they didn't have cat souls there either! Purring thermo-fucking-taxic cat blankets yes, cat souls no!"
palmofyourhand
"Have you not got the word yet in your zombie universe? Bunch of universes, some of them apparently full of zombies? Until just now I didn't know it was possible to walk between them, but I don't know how else to explain all this."
middlingalong
"We have not got word of this, why do you keep calling me a zombie, is it because I don't have my own cat?"
palmofyourhand
"Yes. You don't have a daemon, therefore you don't have a soul, therefore you are a zombie."
middlingalong
Ivan rolls his eyes. "Well, this has been fascinating. Budge over, let me have a go at the door."