Excellent question.

Would require adult human assistance, most likely...

Yep. Lots of people have made return trips. I can assign someone to the portal to watch everyone going in with a baby and make sure they leave with them...stop anyone who doesn't so we can talk to them, you think?

Yeah, ask them where they put the kid and why... Probably shouldn't publish an infosheet update with "do not leave babies in Valinor", tips whoever off that we've noticed.

Should I expect trouble if a baby-smuggling human is stopped?

I'd be a little surprised if they don't have some cover story set up, so that's probably not an instant problem. Although you might want to get somebody else to ask 'didn't you have a baby' instead of doing it directly.

Yes, definitely. 

Alright. I'll let you know more as soon as I know more.

We could if necessary have some storks on this side of the portal, since looking for babies is what they're for, but that's if we can't find them with detective work.

How do they find babies, are they going to bother everyone in Tirion who has one?

By default they only look outdoors, and they mostly listen for crying. I could tell them to do something else here, and it might be that they can tell the difference between human and Elf crying and then I just have to have them ignore your sister.

I'll get back to you on that if detective work doesn't get us there.

Thanks for letting me know.

Sure thing. Thanks for playing cultural mediator.

My pleasure.

They find someone two weeks later. Comes in with a baby, leaves without one, says his husband took the baby back, what's the problem. Maitimo's watching through his guards' eyes and the guards are pretty sure there was no husband who took the baby back. Several of the guards also have things to say about men marrying men, which Maitimo doesn't reprimand them for because what would he even say. 

Kib, want to come talk to this guy?

Yeah, sure.

Kib shows up. "Hey, sorry the Elves are harassing you about having a husband, they get like that."

"It was on the infosheets," he says grudgingly. "We didn't kiss or anything, they just assumed we'd kidnapped and/or abandoned a child. Lunatics. Pretty ones, but still."

"How come you even brought a baby along?"

"My husband works at a creche. Kid had a nasty persistent cough and someone mentioned Valinor's supposed to have gardens of healing or some such, so we thought - we'd been planning to make a trip of it anyway -"

"Oh, did that work? Should I update the sheet?"

"Give us a couple days to get back to you on that; kid seemed fine but the cough comes and goes anyway."

"Has your area got medical golems, I have an in with the medical golems guy."

"Not yet, that'd be tremendously helpful."

Notebook. "What's your name, where are you and your creche?"

He lists a place halfway across the continent.