"You assigning yourself attaché-to-the-Slayer?"

"Well, I'm not sure what you mean by that, exactly."

"I dunno, just the word 'we', what kinda working relationship are you envisioning here?"

"I like what I've seen of your priorities and I would be personally offended on a very deep level if you died, which I understand is a major concern in your line of work. I would like to cooperate with you in making sure that doesn't happen and also the world doesn't end and so forth. Details to be determined."

"Okay, cool. I'll tell Giles, he's often my source of hey-go-kill-thing-it's-trying-to-end-the-world. You might have to get a phone."

"That's among the miscellaneous short-to-medium-term details I plan to take care of during or after my recovery."

"Do you have that covered, or do you need, like, help of some kind."

He shrugs. "Help would be appreciated. I don't currently have any idea how I'm going to accomplish things like finding a phone and a place to live and a change of clothes and so forth; I just don't expect them to be prohibitively difficult when I get around to tackling them. If it would be comparatively easy for you to get me a phone, please do, it'll be one less thing to worry about and we'll have a solid line of communication sooner."

"Next time I meet a Standard Issue Vampire I will see if they have a cellphone I can yoink before I stake them?"

"Sure."

"Your dreams of amassing an army of reformed vampires are wildly impractical," says Mark, gazing out the window.

"...Pardon?"

"When Miles said, 'Sure', he meant, 'Your approach to the problem of vampires is acceptable for now but someday I will figure out how to convince them to adopt a more prosocial attitude and we won't have to kill them anymore'. It's honestly not that far out of the realm of possibility, but it seems pretty intractable at first glance and our energies would be better spent elsewhere."

"I mean, how would you even do that?"

"Can we tell her?"

"I'm, uh... pretty good at convincing people of things," says Miles. "I think I told you a little about it when I was mourning the loss of my soul. It doesn't always work, sometimes there comes along an enemy whose goals and interests really are so fundamentally incompatible with mine that they need to be killed, but - what did I call myself, I think the phrase 'fucking miracle worker' may have come up - I really wasn't exaggerating. Mark wants me to decant some highly classified war stories at you to back up this assertion, but I'm not sure Mark's personal entertainment is worth the minor betrayal of certain past employers that that would entail."

Bella laughs. "I mean, if you can work miracles on vampires, be my guest, just please designate them clearly when they're all rehabilitated."

"It won't be hard to tell the difference," says Mark. "Just ask what they think of Miles and watch their faces light up."

Miles laughs, slightly embarrassed.

Bella giggles. "Seriously?"

"I'm - I - I wouldn't quite put it that way," says Miles. "But, look, the way I work miracles is by finding the places where my interests and the other person's genuinely coincide. When I help people they... often come out of it very helped."

"Are you gonna do the thing to the friend you were crashing with?"

"Depends what you mean by 'do the thing'. The reformed vampire thing? He hardly needs it, he's already avoiding eating people and I barely even objected out loud."

"I was just wondering how soon I get an example of watching somebody light up at being reminded of your existence."

"I doubt it'll be long," says Mark.