This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Here is a demon. The demon is in his swimming pool.
He doesn't swim naked, so he takes the summon anyway.
demon cam vs the clam planet
from_scratch
from_scratch
"I feel like it would be deeply foolish to arm you and it will take more time than I'm willing to spend at this moment to build you any sort of large complex architectural park. If you want a heap of food, and books to pass the time, I can oblige you as long as I know what you want specifically." To Earth.
"Food and books seem like a good start..." says Tyastir.
"Who wants to come up with a list?" says Soto.
They start discussing what food and books they want in particular. It comes out that most of these people are really fond of books. Also, one of Tyastir's favourites is out of print.
"And is that going to stop the all-powerful filth creature?" asks Soto.
"I don't know, is it?" says Tyastir.
"Who wants to come up with a list?" says Soto.
They start discussing what food and books they want in particular. It comes out that most of these people are really fond of books. Also, one of Tyastir's favourites is out of print.
"And is that going to stop the all-powerful filth creature?" asks Soto.
"I don't know, is it?" says Tyastir.
from_scratch
"No, I can get you out of print books as long as I have title and author. Also, I have a name too. It's Cam."
"On second thought, I am enriched by your acquaintance, since I'm probably going to catch the filth contagion and die," says Soto.
"The contagion doesn't kill you by itself," says Tyastir.
"No, it just makes you wish you were dead," says Soto.
"The contagion doesn't kill you by itself," says Tyastir.
"No, it just makes you wish you were dead," says Soto.
from_scratch
"The extent to which you are bothered by the prospect of having wings you can put away and a pocket dimension you don't have to interact with and a resistance to injury is really puzzling to me," Cam remarks. He decelerates towards Earth.
"Of course it is, you're already filth, what do you care? It probably looks like a great idea from your perspective. And I note that whenever the subject of you having the contagion comes up, you say things that are sort of reassuring as long as you don't think about them for five seconds," says Soto.
"Stop catastrophizing in front of the children, please," says the parent.
"I'm not catastrophizing!" says Soto.
"Stop catastrophizing in front of the children, please," says the parent.
"I'm not catastrophizing!" says Soto.
from_scratch
"Well, I don't know how to be more persistently reassuring because your applicable concepts don't make sense to me," Cam says. "Sorry about that."
"So you do have the contagion, and we're all going to catch it and Earth will be a filth pit after all," says Soto.
"I don't know why you're obsessing over this when there's nothing we can do about it anyway," says the parent.
"Personal amusement," says Soto.
"Well, stop," says the parent.
"Besides, if the all-powerful filth creature named Cam cared, they could probably avoid associating with us closely enough to spread the contagion."
"I don't know why you're obsessing over this when there's nothing we can do about it anyway," says the parent.
"Personal amusement," says Soto.
"Well, stop," says the parent.
"Besides, if the all-powerful filth creature named Cam cared, they could probably avoid associating with us closely enough to spread the contagion."
from_scratch
"I've already told you what I know about how to avoid it. I definitely don't know how much exposure is enough to risk it; it's not a thing that happens where I'm from and I only learned about it at all recently."
"You said we won't grow wings until we accomplish something personally fulfilling, or something like that," says Soto. "Not only will that not help us avoid catching the contagion in the first place, it also sounds tremendously boring."
"Who's insane and morally denegerate now?" says one of the ones who haven't introduced themselves.
"Me, apparently," says Soto.
"Who's insane and morally denegerate now?" says one of the ones who haven't introduced themselves.
"Me, apparently," says Soto.
from_scratch
"I don't think anybody in this ship knows enough to assume that the contagion works in any particular way."
from_scratch
Sigh. "I have the pocket dimension thing as of recently. I already had the wings before, though."
"So we might as well embrace insanity now before we start sprouting wings," says Soto. "Tyastir loves filth almost as much as they love rocks, I'm sure they won't have a problem."
"Excuse me," huffs Tyastir.
"Excuse me," huffs Tyastir.
from_scratch
Aaaaand here is the Earth. Cam lands and lets the aliens out. "Have you got a list for me?"
from_scratch
Cam glances at it, makes an electronic copy for his computer to process, reads over the translation, and makes the things.
Now they are supplied with food, books, a standard shipping container filled entirely with someone's favourite brand of pillow without which they cannot sleep at night, reputable wilderness survival kits, and other miscellaneous useful and non-weaponlike items.
"Thank you!" says Tyastir.
"I hope you haven't befouled us all and doomed us to the torment of the filth contagion!" says Soto. "But apart from that, you've been very helpful."
"Thank you!" says Tyastir.
"I hope you haven't befouled us all and doomed us to the torment of the filth contagion!" says Soto. "But apart from that, you've been very helpful."
from_scratch
"Well, one does what one can. I will hopefully be back with similar batches of evacuees from other planets. Please don't start murdering each other if one of you accomplishes something."
"I'd hope we'd all have more sense than that," says Soto.
"Don't be silly, you're far too cynical to hope," says Tyastir.
"True," says Soto.
"Don't be silly, you're far too cynical to hope," says Tyastir.
"True," says Soto.
from_scratch
"I hope you have more sense than that too. Bye," says Cam, and he's off to another planet which is probably having a civil war.
The first other planet he tries has actually already stopped having its civil war, on account of someone managed to replicate the black hole trick.
Civil war! The responses to the end of the world here are approximately in line with what was happening on Soto and Tyastir's planet, but there are fewer people having productive discussions and more people defending the rollercoaster rides and romantic dinners from the rioters and omnicidal fanatics.
from_scratch
That's good of them. Cam... does not think he can productively assist. Do they have any black hole equipment here that he can wreck?