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Here is a demon. The demon is in his swimming pool.
He doesn't swim naked, so he takes the summon anyway.
demon cam vs the clam planet
from_scratch
from_scratch
"That's right! I don't! The extremely small number of you I have managed to exchange actual words with seem very personable! This is a you thing that other species do not have."
"Don't you see," this alien says to the others in their little group, "this means filth creatures can cooperate with each other!"
There is a general chorus of "What?" "How?"
"This filth creature almost seems like it wants to cooperate with us," says another alien.
"If we can't even manage to cooperate with other people I don't see how we can expect to get along with a filth creature," says a third.
"Well, which is better: a world with both people and filth creatures, or a world with only filth creatures? Because I think those are our choices," says the first alien.
"An impure life is no life at all..." says the second alien, slowly.
"Come on, if you believed that you'd be out there rioting with the rest of them."
There is a general chorus of "What?" "How?"
"This filth creature almost seems like it wants to cooperate with us," says another alien.
"If we can't even manage to cooperate with other people I don't see how we can expect to get along with a filth creature," says a third.
"Well, which is better: a world with both people and filth creatures, or a world with only filth creatures? Because I think those are our choices," says the first alien.
"An impure life is no life at all..." says the second alien, slowly.
"Come on, if you believed that you'd be out there rioting with the rest of them."
from_scratch
"That phrase you use for describing people not of your species is really kind of impolite," Cam remarks.
"What?" says someone.
"Filth creatures are people to themselves and other filth creatures!" says the first alien.
"This isn't the time for your bizarre hypotheticals!"
"It's not hypothetical when the world is ending over it!"
"Filth creatures are people to themselves and other filth creatures!" says the first alien.
"This isn't the time for your bizarre hypotheticals!"
"It's not hypothetical when the world is ending over it!"
from_scratch
"I mean, you don't have to learn new words today, this is not nearly as important as the civil war or the identical civil wars probably going on on all your other planets, but it's really hard not to comment on. Do you have any clever ideas for how an indestructible individual with a matter-creation power could get everyone to stop fighting and ideally not commit mass suicide either?"
"If we knew how to get people to stop having civil wars we'd be doing that instead of arguing about it!" says the third alien.
from_scratch
"Well, you don't have matter creation powers and aren't indestructible," says Cam. "I've considered just causing all the purity police to grow wings, but I doubt this would actually contain the damage..."
"I don't understand how your concept of purity works," says the first alien, "but making the purity-keepers grow wings would not make there be less war."
from_scratch
"I was thinking it might make there be fewer purity-keepers. I am irritated by the concept of purity-keepers, whose job seems to consist entirely of murder. But it might well do more harm than good."
"If you want to kill all the purity-keepers, just kill them!" says the third alien. "Don't psychologically torture them into suicide!"
from_scratch
"The idea was that it would discourage anyone else from attempting to purity-keep. But you do have a point."
"It's inconvenient. At this rate I'll never get my paper finished."
"Only you would think of academic publications at the end of the world."
"I'm making some really interesting discoveries about mineral formations!"
"It's a pity the planet isn't being attacked by talking rocks, then you'd be just the expert we needed!"
"Only you would think of academic publications at the end of the world."
"I'm making some really interesting discoveries about mineral formations!"
"It's a pity the planet isn't being attacked by talking rocks, then you'd be just the expert we needed!"
from_scratch
"I'm not actually attacking you. I'm just sitting here," Cam points out. "I haven't directly killed anybody."
"You must have figured out by now that when you do things at people they panic and kill themselves," says the third alien.
from_scratch
"Yes. But if I don't do things at people, then it seems pretty likely that eventually they'd come back to the weird physics place and kill humans. I'm trying to permanently solve that problem and it's really, really hard to do it when practically nobody will talk to me, let alone open treaty negotiations."
"I don't know if we can help you," says the first alien.
"I'm pretty sure we can't," says the third alien.
"I'm pretty sure we can't," says the third alien.
"...yes," says the first alien, hesitantly.
"Sure, why not," says the third alien.
There is a general consensus on this point from the six people having this conversation. Two of them also want to bring family members.
"Sure, why not," says the third alien.
There is a general consensus on this point from the six people having this conversation. Two of them also want to bring family members.
from_scratch
"Are the family members going to try to kill me? I'm getting kind of tired of people trying to kill me."
"My children aren't idiots!" says one of the family-having aliens.
"Neither are my siblings!" says the other.
"Neither are my siblings!" says the other.
from_scratch
"...So either you're calling basically the entire army idiots or you didn't answer my question."