"I suppose you must be estimating what merits napkining differently than I am."

He makes an exaggerated innocent face and then calls in their room service order.

I don't think your protestations of innocence are having any more effect on her than they were on me at the sushi place yesterday.

I have no idea why you two don't believe me!

Probably it's because you keep making out with me in front of her and doing deliciously more than that not in front of her.

Nah, couldn't be.

Why not?

I am a saint and have never done anything even vaguely objectionable.

I don't think I would categorize really great sex as objectionable.

But worthy of napkin-swatting, apparently.

Around my sister? Yes.

We don't do that around your sister!

Well, then napkin-swatting isn't the relevant indicator of lack of innocence! And kissing in front of her does also merit napkin-swatting.

You people have such ridiculous standards.

We do? In Tirion, people thought us holding hands was a bit much.

Did I leave you under the impression I found Tirion anything other than utterly fucking stupid.

Hmm, I'm not sure. I think you may have at one point admitted it was pretty? Not as pretty as me, of course, but still pretty.

Don't really think so anymore. Valinor was all a lie anyway. The Enemy could wear a pretty face too.

Yeah.

Except the dinosaurs. Those were great.

Yeah. No idea why there are bones here. None of that makes any sense.

It makes about as much sense as turning your first-half-cousin-twice-removed into a planet!

I am pretty sure that's not what happened. He was carrying the Silmaril and now it's on Venus; it does not follow that he turned into Venus.

Okay, granted. I wonder what happened to him...

Dunno. I kinda irrationally dislike him anyway.

I understand that perspective but as someone who was on the Ice I'm just glad Itarille survived and got to grow up and have her own child.