That's good. I don't know what I'd have done if you wanted nothing to do with me.

She shudders. I can't imagine not wanting anything to do with you. If--if you were less hypermonogamous and had fallen out of love with me some time in the past thirty thousand years--I don't know what I would have done either.

Oh, sweetheart. Never. Though I guess we could be glad I wasn't captured by the Enemy, people usually don't come out of that okay with being touched...

That would be categorically worse than this in every way but even if that had happened being able to--be near you, talk to you, feel your mind against mine again--would be better than believing I was going to die trying and failing to save you.

Oh, Idaia.

I was fine most of the time but when I wasn't fine that was most of it.

I want to go back in time and make everything always have been okay.

I had ridiculous fantasies about--your grandmother never having died and her and your grandfather and your step-grandmother being in a triad or something 'cause I actually like your non-Artanis cousins and I got to meet her and your dad invented controlled interworld travel and my parents never died and you and I met while I was doing fieldwork for the university and you were exploring Kilaiuossa and I introduced you to my parents and they loved you and we had six kids and Melkor never got let out in the first place--

Maybe. Maybe there's a world where that's what happened.

I'd like that. I hope--I hope somewhere, somehow, there's versions of everyone who got to be okay.

I miss my hometown. I try so hard not to--they betrayed me--but I can't help it. I wish I could have shown you the place for real, it was beautiful, we had this gnarly old tree in the backyard that was perfect for climbing and the lady two doors down had a flower garden that she loved like her own kids and I want to go home, I want to go home, I want my mom and dad, I want to make love to you in my own bed and have you glare at that one guy who kept pestering me to go out with him until he made a squeaky noise and ran away, I want to go home--

She has by this point started openly crying on him.

He hugs her. Maybe sometime you'll dream the house and you can build it. Can't do much about the guy who kept pestering you, can't - maybe someday we'll have resurrection of humans...

Have dreamt about it. Didn't want to think about it too much. And--I miss the people, but--I don't think they're gonna change their minds and apologize, they drove us out, I love them and I miss them and I hate them and I try not to think about it.

I know the feeling.

And it's been thirty thousand years and even if there was some way of going back and I decided I wanted to do that there's almost certainly nothing to go back to.

Yeah, I guess worlds change a lot in that much time.

I don't want to go back, not really. What I miss wouldn't have been there even if I'd gone to Taniquetl straight off on arriving in Valinor and convinced the Valar to send us back. I'm glad I stayed. I love you and I love your family and I love your people and I wish things had been different but I will never repent of the decision to stay in Arda.

I promised you you were safe.

If I would have left if you'd known better then I'm glad you didn't.

Would you have?

Not--not if I'd already fallen in love with you, maybe not even if I hadn't, but if I somehow made it all the way to Taniquetl without realizing how amazing you are--

Then you wouldn't have died horribly and alone.

But I would have died, and I'd still be dead.

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Everything - thirty thousand years we could have had -

I know. I know.

Well then he's going to spend this lovely afternoon in bed staring at the ceiling.