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"I've got a coat already. Also, no offense, but I don't cuddle with creepy ladies I've never met before. Personal policy."

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"Well. I am Jadis, Queen of Narnia, Chatelaine of Cair Paravel, Empress of the Lone Islands. What is your name?"

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"Arlen. Arlen Kallem. You kind of remind me of my mom."

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"Is that so. Do tell me, how many humans have wandered into my realm?"

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"A couple. There's four of us now. I was the only one who really wandered in, though, the rest followed me. Are you the White Witch?"

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"I have already told you who I am. There are any number of less polite additional terms spread about by malcontents, of course. Tell me about your friends."

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"Miraen and Nior are tiny but fierce. They're smart and stuff. And Nior's really great and he cooks. And Harin's my best friend and we grew up together almost and he's really good with a stick. They're all twelve. 'Cept Harin's freaky tall and the twins are really little. So that gets kind of confusing."

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"They sound fascinating. Do go on."

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"Dunno how much more I can go on about. I've known the twins for like a week and Harin was the second person I ever met. We learned knife-fighting together? The twins have all these adorable little habits to do with hugs? I might still be a little bit concussed from last week's thing with the boat?"

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"Do you suppose you and all your friends should like to come visit me in my palace? I would be so delighted to have them."

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"I kind of doubt that, honestly. Did I mention how creepy you are?"

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"I had not been planning to mention your remark. But my home is lovely, certainly worth seeing if you are already in Narnia."

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"I can mention it to them, I guess. Would be pretty cool to see the palace. For Nior and Mir, if nothing else."

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"I'm so glad. Tell me, Arlen, what do you like best to eat?"

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"Dunno. Rosehip candy, probably? It's hard to decide."

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The witch pulls out a flask of a strange liquid and drizzles some into the snow. It turns into a beribboned box of rosehip candy. The dwarf hops from his seat and picks it up to present to Arlen with a bow.

"A gift," smiles the witch. "It is not the proper feast I could produce at home, but perhaps you will enjoy them."
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"Thanks!"

Arlen is so not eating any creepy magic candy.
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Well, she's not making a fuss about that. The dwarf goes back to his seat.

"Do bring your friends to my palace," she says. "It's just between those two hills, there. I shall be expecting you."
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"I'll bring it up. We don't have much planned, I'm sure we can fit you in."

Killing the Witch probably involves going near her castle at some point, yes.
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"How lovely. Don't disappoint me."

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"I never do, ma'am."

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And with that the witch gestures and off goes the sleigh.

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Arlen shudders.

He shreds the box of candy with extreme prejudice, crushing the candies themselves beneath his feet. "Fuck that. Fuck you and fuck your candy."

He breathes heavily for a while, then heads back towards the dam.
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The snuggling persons are still just as snuggling as they were when he left.

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"Guess who just met the worst person," Arlen singsongs.

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