This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Jahenna is polishing her armor by the entrance to camp. Fuck armor. Fuck armor, so much, forever, fucking armor, bullshit.
She's deputized Zann to make the Reverend Mother as uncomfortable as humanly possible, a task to which she has taken like, well, like an elven maleficar to fucking with the Chantry. This leaves Jahenna with free time to spend on reading, battle drills, and- oh for fuck's sake.
"My liege," nods Jahenna. "To what do I owe the honor?"
"Just checking in. How goes it?"
"Just polishing my armor, sire."
"Excellent!" Cailan sits on a tree stump and starts- talking at her.
"Maker's breath, look who it is, my goodness, it's Duncan and some new recruit, I simply must go meet them so sorry to cut you off." Jahenna takes off at top speed, leaving Cailan in a cloud of thinning dust.
"Duncan. Maker, Andraste and all her fucking cousins be praised. His Majesty is trying to talk to me. He- Andraste's lacy underwear, he followed me. If you need me I'll be hiding in a river." She takes off again.
"Good day, Duncan!" hails Cailan. "I see you've a new recruit to your number! How goes it, friend?"
a-sword-just-for-you
moreperfect
"Yes. I one-hand. Although I'm starting to think the shortened hilt was a mistake, because when my shield is off making friends I might like to use both hands for the sword."
a-sword-just-for-you
Jahenna's brow furrows. "Autonomous shield? That's odd. I- have never heard of that. Which does not make sense. I have heard of everything."
moreperfect
"You haven't heard of this. It's not exactly autonomous," he says. "I control it. Mostly. It's a little temperamental. I picked it up on my way out of... a place." Why do so many conversations seem to end in him having to describe the place.
a-sword-just-for-you
Jahenna squints at the shield.
Jahenna squints at the shield.
"Blood magic. Always with the fucking blood magic. I assume that whoever made it is dead? Unless you made it, and we've decided to become the Maleficar Corps."
"I don't recall any maleficarum in the Wardens," objects Duncan.
Jahenna winces. "That... is a conversation for later."
Jahenna squints at the shield.
"Blood magic. Always with the fucking blood magic. I assume that whoever made it is dead? Unless you made it, and we've decided to become the Maleficar Corps."
"I don't recall any maleficarum in the Wardens," objects Duncan.
Jahenna winces. "That... is a conversation for later."
moreperfect
"Some people are definitely dead," he says. "I think some of them might have gotten away, though. I was a little out of it."
a-sword-just-for-you
"Eh. Good enough for government work."
"Now, about that maleficar?" Duncan prompts.
Jahenna winces again. She opens her mouth to respond, but notices a plume of smoke coming from inside the camp. "Speaking of your fellow recruit, I think we'd better go check that she hasn't immolated Cailan or something."
"You recruited a-"
"Yes I recruited a maleficar, I was tired, it seemed like a good idea at the time, will everyone shut up about it!"
"Now, about that maleficar?" Duncan prompts.
Jahenna winces again. She opens her mouth to respond, but notices a plume of smoke coming from inside the camp. "Speaking of your fellow recruit, I think we'd better go check that she hasn't immolated Cailan or something."
"You recruited a-"
"Yes I recruited a maleficar, I was tired, it seemed like a good idea at the time, will everyone shut up about it!"
suffer-not
The pace towards the plume of smoke and likely maleficar: quick, but not quite an outright run. Running implies panic. Quickness implies... urgency.
There appears to have been a fire in the upper floors of the temporary chapel. Zann is nearby whistling innocently while a Tranquil throws frost runes at the blaze.
"Hi! Did you come to help with the fire? There's really no need, I think Billy over there has it under control."
The Tranquil turns to look... slightly less blank than usual, in the shape of what might almost be a glare. "My name is not Billy. It is Janon."
"Sorry, Billy."
suffer-not
"Well, it's a wooden building. And the attic was full of scrolls, Chant of Light and that shit. Maybe someone dropped a candle?"
suffer-not
Zann spares a glance at Tev, then spares another one. "Fuck, were you missing the day they passed around the short? In what way is this fair?" At Jahenna's look, she admits, "The Reverend Mother... may have been saying certain things about how magic must serve man. And I may have had... the passing thought... that she must have better things to do. And just as I thought that, the chapel caught fire, as though by a miracle. Have we considered that I may be the next great prophet of the Maker?"
a-sword-just-for-you
Jahenna takes a moment to process this.
She turns to Duncan. "Sir, I don't know that we have any reason to doubt Sazann's testimony. I personally believe that the chapel burst into flames due to the will of the Maker, or possibly a passing dragon."
Duncan gently rests his face in his hands.
She turns to Duncan. "Sir, I don't know that we have any reason to doubt Sazann's testimony. I personally believe that the chapel burst into flames due to the will of the Maker, or possibly a passing dragon."
Duncan gently rests his face in his hands.
A sharp-faced woman in a Chantry robe storms over. "Duncan! I want this girl pilloried! Look what she's done to my chapel! You Wardens are here on sufferance, and I will take this as high as it needs to go before she is punished!"
Duncan looks somber. "What evidence do you have of Sazann's involvement in this?"
"What? She's a bloody mage, she lit it on fire! I saw her set it on fire!"
"Did anyone else see this? Because I have two witnesses here, one an expert, who claim that the fire was caused by the will of the Maker. Are you, a woman of the cloth, prepared to challenge the Maker's will?"
"I don't have to challenge the fucking Maker, I-"
"Please!" Duncan cries out, covering his ears. "There are ladies present. Do make an effort not to blaspheme."
Duncan looks somber. "What evidence do you have of Sazann's involvement in this?"
"What? She's a bloody mage, she lit it on fire! I saw her set it on fire!"
"Did anyone else see this? Because I have two witnesses here, one an expert, who claim that the fire was caused by the will of the Maker. Are you, a woman of the cloth, prepared to challenge the Maker's will?"
"I don't have to challenge the fucking Maker, I-"
"Please!" Duncan cries out, covering his ears. "There are ladies present. Do make an effort not to blaspheme."
moreperfect
Tev attempts to look pious and vaguely unsettled. He succeeds at the vaguely unsettled part.
suffer-not
"I- rrrragh!" The Mother shrieks in frustration. "I'll have Loghain himself set on your tail, I swear it!"
"Good luck," says Duncan seriously. "I am sure he will treat this with the concern it deserves."
She storms off.
Duncan sighs. "Please make an effort not to set anything else on fire. If nothing else, the entire camp is made of wood, it could spread from... more to less acceptable targets."
"Please. Do you really think a fire I started would dare spread past where I put it? Hypothetically, of course."
"Of course."
"Good luck," says Duncan seriously. "I am sure he will treat this with the concern it deserves."
She storms off.
Duncan sighs. "Please make an effort not to set anything else on fire. If nothing else, the entire camp is made of wood, it could spread from... more to less acceptable targets."
"Please. Do you really think a fire I started would dare spread past where I put it? Hypothetically, of course."
"Of course."
moreperfect
"Hypothetically," says Tev, "the Revered Mother looked about ready to hit you over the head and dump you off the walls, which would probably make it harder to control your hypothetical fire."
a-sword-just-for-you
"Fun and vague death threats aside, we should probably get down to business, yeah?"
Duncan nods. "Indeed. There is a ritual you must undergo to pass from recruits into fully fledged Wardens. You'll need-"
An unathletic-looking elven boy runs up to them, wheezing. "Am I- am I late? For the Wardens thing?"
"Ah. Yes, no, you're fine. I... apologize, I somewhat forgot that you existed. This is Mortan, who I recruited from the servants in Highever castle. He should join you, yes. As I was saying, you'll need to venture into the Korcari Wilds and kill tw- three darkspawn, and bring me back one vial of blood each. In the Wilds you'll find a ruined tower, once a Warden stronghold, which will contain extremely important documents. You are to retrieve them, and the blood, and return here; then, I will tell you what to do next. Jahenna will accompany you into the Wilds. Any questions?"
"Why the fuck am I on babysitting duty?" Jahenna inquires.
"Because I outrank you. Further questions?"
Duncan nods. "Indeed. There is a ritual you must undergo to pass from recruits into fully fledged Wardens. You'll need-"
An unathletic-looking elven boy runs up to them, wheezing. "Am I- am I late? For the Wardens thing?"
"Ah. Yes, no, you're fine. I... apologize, I somewhat forgot that you existed. This is Mortan, who I recruited from the servants in Highever castle. He should join you, yes. As I was saying, you'll need to venture into the Korcari Wilds and kill tw- three darkspawn, and bring me back one vial of blood each. In the Wilds you'll find a ruined tower, once a Warden stronghold, which will contain extremely important documents. You are to retrieve them, and the blood, and return here; then, I will tell you what to do next. Jahenna will accompany you into the Wilds. Any questions?"
"Why the fuck am I on babysitting duty?" Jahenna inquires.
"Because I outrank you. Further questions?"