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"Well, they don't usually talk. So it is entertaining, yes."

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"Don't they? People can't usually understand them, but I don't think that's the same thing."

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"No, cats don't talk. I thought that was some kind of shapeshifter or a pygmy malk or something, are you telling me that's just- a cat? That talks?"
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"All cats talk," says Milo. "You can understand them if you're a dragon, or the cat's own personal witch, or in my case just very determined. Do cats not talk in this world?"

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"Cats don't anything in this world! They're dumb animals that eat mice and piss on your furniture and run about like idiots! There are things that look like cats that talk and do any variety of things, but as I said, those are uncommon and besides which they aren't actually cats."

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"...I think that might be more unsettling than your ambiguously murderous eating habits," says Milo. Cath jumps from his shoulder into his arms, and he pets her soothingly.

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"Eh. There's too many weird things around to get really freaked out by them. Still. Talking cats..." He shakes his head.

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"Non-talking cats. How would you feel if you stepped into a world where vampires weren't people?"

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"Sounds interesting, honestly. There's certainly kinds of humans that aren't people, though I don't believe they're naturally occurring."

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"...What, really?"

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"Yep. Called thralls, or 'Renfields' if you're puckish. They're humans who've been psychically mauled by some vampire- different kind of vampire, Black Court- until there's nothing left in them but rage. They're about as intelligent as the average dog, far as anyone can tell. Nasty stuff."

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"I don't think I like this world very much," says Milo. "No offense. You personally have been perfectly nice and helpful."

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"Oh, thanks. It's not a nice place for mortals, no. Unless you're a wizard or something, that's a nice gig. Or was, 'til the war started and my people started murdering the shit out of them all. Less nice nowadays, I think. High mortality rate."

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"Um. Should I not ask?"

Cath declares herself sufficiently soothed and climbs back up to perch on his other shoulder.
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"I'm not a fan of war. I like not being dead. Antagonizing wizards... not a great policy for that."

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"Most people like not being dead, I find!"

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This elicits a withering look. "Oh, don't get on me about my eating habits. What are you, a one-man Society for the Ethical Treatment of Filthy Vagrants?"

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"That one actually wasn't a dig at your eating habits. But now that you've gone and brought it up, is eating people really necessary?"

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"They've got all the essential vitamins and minerals a growing vampire needs. Plus, they're fucking delicious. Why wouldn't I?"

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"Well, the reason that springs to my mind is 'because they're people, of course', but I sense that you don't find that persuasive. Why not?"

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"Because it's irrelevant?"

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"Oh? In what way? I assume you wouldn't find it irrelevant in the reverse, if someone came along who habitually ate vampires."

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"There are things that kill us, including wizards. I dislike those things not because they kill people, or because they kill vampires, but because they're likely to kill me."

At least, he usually does. He thinks he does. He feels weird about the question. This is usually easier.
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"That sounds... lonely," Milo says thoughtfully. "If it extends as far as you're implying. Not caring about anyone but yourself? Really?"

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"I- care about people. But only when they matter. I care about my mother. I cared about... a few of my sisters. I... I cared about a human, once, but it didn't last. They don't live very long even without my interfering, you know."

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