She didn't say she'd fix it. "Where?"

So he walks with her down to where they've been faithfully replicating everything the spies send.

"Oh," she says, sniffing the air, "I see your problem." She picks up a bowl of the stuff.

She drinks it.

What the fuck.

Right, her world has synthetic blood.

That's honestly pretty impressive.

"All right," he says. "I really like you and I am really disappointed that our differences seem irreconcilable. Very clever. You wasted lots of time. Now, what's your end goal here? Because eventually the Noldor will develop nuclear weapons. We are good at engineering and we know now, at a minimum, that uranium's involved, and we have a very long time. If you teach us, I will swear only to use such weapons against Angband. If we learn it on our own..."

"...you'll immediately demonstrate how unfit you are to have them?"

"I'm not planning to use them anywhere but Angband. I'm substantially advantaged by not having sworn not to, though."

"Is this the part where you try to convince me I can trust you not to route around anything you say via the cunning use of subordinates?"

"If you teach me how to build nuclear weapons, I swear not to use them anywhere except Angband and other strongholds of the Enemy, if there turn out to be any, only with your permission. I swear not to order them used anywhere else. I swear that, if I learn that anyone has acquired nuclear weapons or is acquiring them, I will stop that person from using them. I swear that I would accept this oath from a hostile party and that it is my sincere expectation that this oath will prevent nuclear weapons from ever being deployed except against Angband."

"And you let him go."

"Give me a nuke first."

"Oath first then nuke then release and you don't fuck him up any worse in the meantime."

"I swear that, if you teach us how to build nuclear weapons, then after I have levelled Angband I will make it known to Findekano that neither he nor anyone he loves will experience retaliation if he leaves. I swear that between now and then I will discourage him from swearing any mind-altering oaths."

"And you have to actually. Let. Him. Leave."

"I will walk him to the gates myself."

"Look how convinced I am that you're committed to that now."

"Once the war's over you have lots less reason not to murder me. I don't think I'll be very inclined to anger you."

"And I think you're angering me now."

"You are making it a condition of saving the world that I never see my boyfriend again."

"No, if you pay very close attention to what I said you will notice that it was 'let him go', not 'refuse him if he's got the forgiveness of a saint', and you know what I hate, I hate it when people do not pay attention to what I say."

"I swear I'll let him go."

"And you do not coerce him back and you do not chase after him and do I have to hold your hand through this entire tedious process."

"If you level Angband I swear never to touch him again unless of his own uncoerced unmodified will he wants me to, does that do it? There are thousands of people in Angband! Why is this such a big deal to you?"

She steps out from behind her imaginary borrowed shield and blazes with contemptuous rage. Because fuck you, that's why.

No one has ever actually hated him like that before.

It isn't pleasant.

He does not want to look like she is causing him agonizing pain, that wouldn't do, so he tries to keep looking steadily neutral. "Alright, how long is it going to take you, how long do I have to get him to forgive me?"

"Depends on how much use you are compared to working on my own. And you have. Not. Closed. All. Your. Loopholes. Yet." Is this how Maggie feels about that Cardiff vampire she hates so much - you have truth magic your whole species has truth magic and you use it to be as discreetly slimy as possible -