"Yeah. Which kind of makes me wonder why they were bothering."

"Oh, one time one of them told me they're trying to avert the heat death of the universe, which I would buy as a noble motive if they weren't such manipulative assholes about it. Why they care about the heat death of the universe when they have no emotions, well - they have something that motivates them to act, it just isn't as warm-'n-fuzzy as their furball emissaries. I'm actually kind of optimistic that I can work out a peaceful compromise with them - 'here is your clean energy source which doesn't feed on human misery, now give me all your awesome technology and stop preying on teenage girls and I will hand it over'. Easier than trying to fight a space war or something."

"Much easier, yes. Why the heat death of the universe is a priority now rather than a billion years from now I don't know, but--if they want to prevent that, why wouldn't they start with something like, I don't know, putting out some of the giant sky-fires that don't have inhabited planets? This whole thing sounds extremely inefficient."

"I actually asked them about astronomical waste too! They seem to be concerned about the heat death on a conceptual level, not a 'buying time' level. Humans are reportedly unique among species in the galaxy at least, possibly the universe, in having emotions, or at least fuel-grade emotions, and they weren't positive we'd still be there if they came back later."

"It still seems odd...can they only use negative emotions? Because operating the world's most fun theme park and siphoning off the joy of visitors would be mildly creepy, but both more effective and less unethical than what they actually chose to do."

"It's more complicated than that. I haven't actually gotten one to give me a technical explanation - they don't lie exactly, or even outright refuse to answer questions, but they'll dumb everything down or tell you you won't understand stuff, sometimes - but from what I've pieced together the wishes are an active ingredient and it's something about the differential between 'holy shit, I just got granted a wish' and 'I am all out of everything and depressed as fuck'. I think they prefer if you get to the latter point via emotional downward spiral than by running out of magic - which does cause depression but in a less dramatic way and people vary in how well they cope with being low on charge - but either will do. I don't think they bothered checking to see if there were more ethical methods after determining that this one would be most efficient."

"Okay, and at that point I know little enough about this system that any objections I might make are just ill-informed whinging. So these things are in fact completely amoral but not logically inconsistent."

"Yep."

"I suppose I've gotten spoiled on people like Young Earth Creationists whose positions are as unscientific as they are toxic."

"Yeah, it'd be really convenient if the kyubeys were wrong about how to get what they want in some obvious way. But they don't seem to be so already so I have to show up with extradimensional powers and make them so that way."

"Luckily, extradimensional powers are available!"

"Yep! Including an extradimensional power that will let me spend longer scouting for more!"

"Yep!"

"This is a good day."

"I sure wasn't expecting it to be when I got up this morning planning to fight a major boss villain but it really is!"

"I am sorry about the 'no outside business' rule, I didn't know about it and didn't think to check our plan with Bar."

"It was an hour. Not the most fun hour I've ever had, but I've got enough going on in here," she taps her temple, "to keep me occupied for that long."

"I'm glad you're none the worse for wear."

"With your scintillating company to console me? Never."

"...I am trying to think of a better response to that than some vague innuendo about how consoling my company is."

"I am still vaguely surprised I came up with a semi-competent flirt."

"If you guys are moving on to innuendo I'm heading outside."

"It was meta-innuendo."

"For now. I'd rather not be around when the real stuff starts up."

"Sure. Just don't go too far or it'll be hard for Edie to find you when she wants to re-sync your time and go home."