This isn't Emily's dorm room.
This is Milliways! Awesome.
"Hi, Bar," she says cheerfully. "Looks like I'm the first one in at the moment, huh?" she says, looking around at the otherwise-empty room.
"Oh, that makes sense. Now I'm imagining some poor terraformer crying over the difficulty presented by all these blasted beetles."
"There are really too many! I don't know a whole lot about terraforming but I imagine they must skimp on the plants, too."
"It produces chemicals that itch for weeks if you touch them. There's an urban legend about a guy who--never mind, it's not delicate."
"Is there a sign? Please do not be indelicate in this bar?" asks Ivan, looking around.
"No, but in my experience men don't like stories involving nasty chemicals and a man's sensitive bits."
"I feel like there's an innuendo there about the delicacy of the relevant area but the specifics are escaping me."
"Tragic. Such a perfect opening, and neither of us enough of a cunning linguist to take advantage."
...sporfle. "That - only sort of works, I think the bar is translating, but it comes close enough. So to speak."
"I hope there's no one who's going to take offense at you hearing such things from strange girls."
"I am currently quite lacking in anyone who might fear attempts on my virtue, myself included."
"Nothing of the sort. I'm unattached at the moment, and anyone else who thinks it's their business shall find themselves entirely disregarded."
"How about that," says Ivan, reading this napkin. "We can rent rooms upstairs. Or room. Room upstairs."
Ivan blinks at these numbers. "Well, I can tell that in marks that's pretty good."
"We shall!" He scoops up the key, reads the room number Bar supplies, locates the stairs, and offers Emily his arm.