You too.

And she goes home.

He is having a nightmare. Silently, mostly.

If sending him a sunrise over osanwe doesn't fix it and being loud over osanwe doesn't wake him, she'll try dribbling a bit of water over his face, that probably will.

It does. He flinches, looks around, forcibly steadies his heartrate. 

She gives him a couple seconds to get his bearings. You all right?

Yes.

She nods and goes to fix the fire. Findekano's host is doing better. They picked a place to send scouts to, I don't know how long they're going to take to check it out but I can help them move as soon as they know they want to go there.

I am very glad. You look happier too.

Yeah... Sigh. I'm not sure you understand how important companionship is for kobolds? I've been being careful not to make that too obvious, I didn't want it to seem like a demand. But, well, it is something I need. And waiting on spending time with Findekano when I haven't met anyone else here I get along with nearly that well turned out to be harder than I thought. They're pretty great, though, she grins.

I'm glad. Waiting for the other host to have most of their logistics done or at least in motion?

I still wasn't sure you'd be okay with it. Am still not, actually, but I think there'd be a worse problem if I tried to make myself not - it's one thing to ignore a need when there's no way of fulfilling it anyway, I can do that for a long time if I need to, but it's something else again when what you need is right there... if I absolutely had to I probably could but I don't think I'd be functional, not with everything else.

I don't care what you do and do care if you're functional.

Nod. I knew the second part of that, yeah. Talked to Findekano about how kobold tribes work and what that means for what kinds of things I need, too; they're going to talk to you about that soon I think.

Okay. I'm glad he's looking out for you. Sorry I can't right now.

She sends him a burst of affection. It's okay, really. Eldar might not work like this, but kobolds certainly do.

Eldar probably work like that a little too, I just - had what I needed, I think, and didn't think of it as a dependence. 

Hmm?

I think I - really dislike, as I said, being catered to or having you apologetic for existing around me with your own emotional needs. It's probably not because the Eldar don't cater to each other but because I'd had the sort of interpersonal relationships I require in such abundance that they didn't feel scarce. And they felt reciprocal.

She nods and considers. 'Not that' isn't really enough for me to figure out what I should be doing - I have backed off with it some, but I don't want to take actual risks, you know? And I wasn't apologizing for having needs, I was apologizing for having them in ways you couldn't just ignore if that was best for you... and I haven't apologized for my friendship with Findekáno. I am trying. But the part where you want me to worry about your needs less is... less uncomfortable, than the part where you want me to be more open about my own, right now - it still feels like it'd be making demands of you in an inappropriate way. It's less that I mind you knowing and more that I mind telling you, though, Findekáno can tell you what I told them, that's okay.

Okay. In that case we shall both of us lean on him.

I haven't gotten the impression they mind, she smiles.

I wish he were safe in Valinor and I suspect he is, but the Enemy likes it, in the hallucinations, to have him here.

Ouch. Is there anything I can do to make this easier besides doing my best to make sure you don't have to see them? I haven't gotten the impression that any of your siblings would be any good at this, but I don't really understand them yet, maybe I've missed something.

My brothers are still trying to feel out whether I can lead them, it makes it inconvenient for me to lean on them too much except in practical ways, where they'll be tremendously useful.