Yup, and I'd be out as soon as I could walk if I'd been raised in a kobold tribe. Different stuff for different people.

Yeah, I suppose so. I hope they're really okay, though. I'm having trouble even imagining it, even for them.

Well, if they wanna go back with one of you they can.

Snort. Either they've chilled out a lot or you don't know them very well yet - they've always been stubborn, when they decide they want to do something. Just because they aren't coming back doesn't mean they shouldn't.

Yeah, that's another one of the differences. Among my people, you respect people by taking them at their word about what they need, and you show respect for others by communicating what you need. It is very deeply disrespectful and antisocial to second-guess people about what they decide to do, or to do what's not right for you and count on other people to save you from yourself. 

All the more reason they should come back, then. They make a habit of that last thing.

So how do we convince them, then?

...I wish their one parent was still alive, they were the only one who could ever really talk sense into them. Come up with a better way for them to get what they want? Trying to convince them that it's impossible won't work, they'll just try anyway in case it isn't.

I don't even know what they want. A tribe, obviously, but if you're offering one -

They need a tribe, but apparently they have one, they wouldn't be doing this well if they didn't - I'm surprised they made it six months without one, I think that was a very near thing. It sounds like what they want is your god dealt with and your egg-sibling okay.

That'd be nice.

...cuddles.

The kobold sighs and gets Rána's attention.

Hey, you all right?

Yeah.

She peers questioningly at the kobold he was talking to, who tells her that they mentioned the war. "Ah. Yeah, it's pretty much okay now, but it was bad before. And they weren't used to it, their history is kind of weird."

"Oh." Sorry.

It's fine.

If you say so.

Do you want them to leave? If you ignore what'd be best for them.

Nah, of course not. But that's the thing, I can't ignore what'd be best for someone if they also are going to be ignoring what's best for them.

Nod. I don't really expect they'd settle down if they came back, either, though. For a while, maybe, they've been through a lot this year, but I'm sure in a year or two they'd be back out talking to tigerfolk again. The question is less how to stop them from doing ridiculous things, and more whether they have enough support to be okay anyway.

Ah, okay. I know that type of person.

That'll help. And it shouldn't be too hard to figure out what they need.

Advice?

I don't know them well enough to give really good advice, but... don't wait for them to tell you what they need, is the most obvious thing. That just doesn't work for us, if people're paying that little attention you might as well not have a tribe at all. Asking is probably okay, and guessing is fine even if you get it wrong, as long as they can tell what you're trying to do.

It's not about not paying attention, it's about trusting people. Guessing what they need is what you do for animals and children.