Mmhmm. And if they need that I will, but for now they seem okay with how I've been splitting up my time, and working with your siblings on the spellcasting will help them too. And I do want both groups to be as safe as I can get them.

That's good of you.

...there's a cultural difference there, I think, she says after a few seconds. Not surprising, really. This kind of thing would just be expected, among kobolds - the world's not safe, we don't have powerful people making it be; if you can do something to keep your tribe safe, of course you do that, it's your tribe. And the same principle applies to other ones - less so, but for basically the same reason.

No, that's the same with us, it's why we left Valinor, because there were people who were in danger and we wanted to make their world safe. It's just that lots of those principles fall apart when people have hurt each other badly in the past.

Ah. Well, I don't feel that much like I'm a part of them, yet, and I'm really good at not letting my principles go.

That's a good trait to have.

That gets a grin. Yeah, I think so.

Thing the Enemy likes to try to do to people. Give them impossible choices, grind them down, try to make them feel like all principles are lies...

Must've been hard.

I don't think so. But if I've subtly been tampered with I might not be able to tell.

Mm.

She considers that for a few seconds, and goes back to cooking.

A lot of my problems come down to not knowing how I'd tell if I were dangerous to my people.

She nods. And there's nothing obvious, but I'm sure you could tell that yourself, and I don't know enough about what things might be problems to help with anything much more subtle - I think you'll be okay, but it's hard to know.

And I'm still pretty sure this is a hallucination.

Nod. I wish there was something we could do about that.

It's okay. It's a pleasant hallucination.

A wry grin mingles with the sadness and frustration on her face. Good, I've been trying for that.

If it weren't a hallucination I'd feel badly about that. I don't usually want people to try to make my life pleasant, not when there are competing issues.

I mean, I'm not prioritizing it above anything you'd consider more important, that wouldn't help anything. But there's not much I can do that's unambiguously helpful for you, and that's one of the things.

And I do appreciate it.

She nods.

Have you given any thought to what you'll need or want when you go back to stay with your siblings?

To feel like I'm not hurting them constantly by accident, mostly. I worry I've forgotten too much -

Nod. Would it help to see how they've been with me? I haven't been specifically memorizing things, but I should still be able to show you most of it.

I'd like that, yes.

And so she sends it. The last few days are basically complete, and her memories get slowly patchier and less crisp from there.