Sorry. I'm sure he won't hold it against you. Thanks for telling him.

Nod. I don't think so either, yeah. I might be an unpleasant reminder, but I can live with that, I don't think it'll be a permanent problem.

They did have a message for you - they'll see you when you're ready and they want their dead people back, whatever that means.

I think he's just saying that I can't set this right and shouldn't try. But if we're not united I don't know if we can win. Maybe I should talk to Nolofinwe, he might be more interested in finding a way.....

That's more or less what they were thinking, yeah. That if you didn't burn the ships there's nothing to apologize for personally, and that reuniting the hosts is impossible - I think they're probably wrong about that but I could definitely see them being upset about the idea of you thinking about how to, right now. Nolofinwe is their parent?

His father, yes. Their host's claimant to the crown. I need to be in better condition first but I think he'd be willing to work with me.

She nods. I haven't met them yet.

He's going to be much less forgiving of me than FIndekáno but that's fine.

Nod. Do you have an idea of how you want to do it?

Get healthy enough to throw myself at his feet and beg forgiveness and see what he wants, probably.

She sighs. All right. Findekáno might have some idea, if that helps.

Yes, maybe.

I'll ask, next time I have an opportunity.

I think how I'd like to handle the next bit is... give them a couple days, definitely. I'll keep dropping food off, if they want to talk to me while I'm there that's fine, otherwise wait at least a couple days. Then - you still want to talk to them, right? Through the portals, not about that? Do you think you'll be okay with the possibility of them bringing it up anyway?

I don't know if I should talk to Findekáno except about strategic considerations, if he's willing to leave it there.

...for their sake, or for yours?

If he's not real I only hurt myself by interacting with more hallucinations of him, and if he is real being assumed a hallucination will hurt him.

She nods. I think it'll help them a lot to see that you're capable of being functional, after they've had a chance to think about what I've told them. I'm not sure how much it'd hurt you if they want to talk about that, though, or how likely it is that they will, so I don't know if it's worth doing.

It'll be a few months before I've done as much for my injuries as can be done for them, but I think I can walk around within a few weeks.

She mulls this over.

I'm not sure showing them more comprehensively is actually better than showing them sooner, but it might be. If you're very sure you'll be okay with that. It's not what I meant to suggest, though.

What did you mean to suggest?

Just talking to them. Through portals, I can do the kind again where you don't have to see them, I don't think that'll be a problem. Let them see that there's more going on than that one awful thing, so they have something other than that to think about when they think about you.

I bet that's not even on the top ten things he thinks about me.

Maybe. But they seemed pretty overwhelmed with it - not dramatically, but it was definitely a pretty big deal. Maybe they'll work through that fine on their own, but if they don't, I'd rather be ready to do something about it.

I bet he will write a sad song and then have to come up with a different explanation for everyone else of the sad song.

That gets a surprised chuckle. Okay. And I can listen to their sad song if they want someone who knows to hear it.

I bet he'd like that.