I don't care what you do and do care if you're functional.

Nod. I knew the second part of that, yeah. Talked to Findekano about how kobold tribes work and what that means for what kinds of things I need, too; they're going to talk to you about that soon I think.

Okay. I'm glad he's looking out for you. Sorry I can't right now.

She sends him a burst of affection. It's okay, really. Eldar might not work like this, but kobolds certainly do.

Eldar probably work like that a little too, I just - had what I needed, I think, and didn't think of it as a dependence. 

Hmm?

I think I - really dislike, as I said, being catered to or having you apologetic for existing around me with your own emotional needs. It's probably not because the Eldar don't cater to each other but because I'd had the sort of interpersonal relationships I require in such abundance that they didn't feel scarce. And they felt reciprocal.

She nods and considers. 'Not that' isn't really enough for me to figure out what I should be doing - I have backed off with it some, but I don't want to take actual risks, you know? And I wasn't apologizing for having needs, I was apologizing for having them in ways you couldn't just ignore if that was best for you... and I haven't apologized for my friendship with Findekáno. I am trying. But the part where you want me to worry about your needs less is... less uncomfortable, than the part where you want me to be more open about my own, right now - it still feels like it'd be making demands of you in an inappropriate way. It's less that I mind you knowing and more that I mind telling you, though, Findekáno can tell you what I told them, that's okay.

Okay. In that case we shall both of us lean on him.

I haven't gotten the impression they mind, she smiles.

I wish he were safe in Valinor and I suspect he is, but the Enemy likes it, in the hallucinations, to have him here.

Ouch. Is there anything I can do to make this easier besides doing my best to make sure you don't have to see them? I haven't gotten the impression that any of your siblings would be any good at this, but I don't really understand them yet, maybe I've missed something.

My brothers are still trying to feel out whether I can lead them, it makes it inconvenient for me to lean on them too much except in practical ways, where they'll be tremendously useful. 

Mmhm. So we can't avoid it entirely, probably. Is there anything else that'd make it easier?

Avoid what entirely, interacting with hallucinations of my cousin? I don't need to avoid it; I need to apologize to him and so forth. I do that every time, even though I know it's not real.

Avoid interacting with them in ways you don't specifically choose to, then. If the Enemy likes doing something and it matters enough to mention, I don't want to do that thing, but I'm not going to stop you from doing stuff.

I mean, the Enemy usually sets it up so the only way to achieve things that would be really important if this were real, like the reunification of the Noldor and coordination on the war effort, is to make not-really-Findekáno pleased with me -

She makes an exceptionally expressive face.

So I'm expecting that someone circumstances will conspire such that I can't avoid him forever, and I do need to apologize.

Would it make things better or worse for me to make sure not to leave you two unattended.

Well, if this is real, we do in fact need to reunite the Noldor and coordinate for the war, don't we.

Yes, but since it is real and they don't want that, having me in the room shouldn't be a problem, right?

No.

Good.

And in the meantime I need to figure out how to murder a god.

Trust me, lots of people are thinking very hard about it. My brothers probably have more magic experiments for you.