Not if I do it right. I can get cues from them about what I used to be like.

Nod. Okay. Be careful, though.

Yeah, I realize that. I need to be more careful. 

I'll be here if you want to talk about it.

I don't, but I don't not either and I suppose maybe it'll be strategically relevant and before then I'll want to have raised it with someone who can recalibrate me if I don't have any memories back.

Nod. Yup. That too.

This is the fifth faked rescue. If you're in enough pain for long enough the distinction to keep your thoughts private can slip and he can do this thing that makes your head feel like it's splitting open, to dig at thoughts he can already see. I think they got a lot out of me, things they'll use against my family. They tortured a lot of people in front of me. Sometimes they had me choose who they'd hurt, sometimes they'd ask me to torture someone and if I refused it'd be much worse. Sometimes I had a chance to kill prisoners and I took it. They tampered with my memory so I remember doing a lot of things I don't think I would do under any duress but maybe I'm just wrong about myself. I don't remember anyone's names. Except mine, because he used it all the time with me.

I can't think what else is likely to come up.

The explicit torture and making you think you did things you probably didn't, I expect they'd rather not know about. The private thoughts thing I don't know enough about to say. It being the fifth fake rescue is probably safe, but the details might not be. The things about the names depend on your culture, probably - mine doesn't use them in the first place so it's hard for me to guess.

I am assuming they don't know much about Angband to start with; if there are specific things that they know usually or sometimes happen that could change their reactions to those, in either direction.

They know the thing where lots of people come back and snap and kill people. I doubt they know the rest.

Nod. Yeah, so about like that, then. The thing where they got information out of you is mostly upsetting in a very different way from the rest, too - it's dangerous but it's not all that horrifying, and I expect they'll react best to that if you tell them that as soon as you can.

So as soon as we interact with them at all.

Yeah. It doesn't have to be the absolute first thing you say, though - first conversation, if it's not too awkward to work in, first day if at all possible. Making it too much of a priority makes it sound like an emergency, not just a dangerous thing, and unless that happened very recently it almost certainly isn't that.

I know that. I know most rules about talking to people, I think I'd be about as good at convincing someone to do what I want as I used to be, the things I'm missing are - wanting things for them, I used to do a lot of wanting things for people. 

All right, sorry about that. I don't have a very good feel for what you do and don't have trouble with, yet; I wouldn't actually have thought of that particular thing as a rule.

You don't need to be sorry; I am trying to give feedback on what kind of sorting it might make most sense to explain - I will probably not think about my words hurting people, and when I notice they'll do that I won't want to change for that reason, that's the kind of mistake I'll make.

Nod. Okay.

Can you tell me anything about how names work for Eldar?

I think they're really important. I know people will be upset if I don't know theirs.

Nod. I was afraid of that. And all my ideas for trying to get around it are basically 'have me handle them' - it wouldn't be too hard to get people to introduce themselves to me, if you weren't going to be right there.

You can talk to them briefly first, we just can't rely on having important things relayed through you, they'll tell you I can speak for myself. Which I can. Very well, towards any end I want, I just don't know what that's supposed to be.

If the idea is that they're going to come investigate the portal, I think they're going to find that too distracting to talk to me much at first, though.

Anyway, what you do want should be fine, for that. They're going to want things, too, is what I'm trying to plan for here; they're going to want to help, they're going to want to know how they can help, they might very well want you to go there so they can help you more easily, if they don't they're probably at least going to want to hear about how you're doing on a regular basis and preferably to see it for themselves. They're going to want to know about me, if you're staying with me, to the point where they feel comfortable that I'm doing right by you. Some of those they can't have, some of those they probably shouldn't, some of them are better handled some ways than other ways, and it's hard to figure out how to approach that with this little information.

And they're going to want to figure out whether I should have some sort of remote command of the camp. I don't think I should, obviously.

...after thirty years I'd be very surprised if they wanted that, actually. Cultural difference?

Yes. By law it's mine for certain if I go back, arguably mine for as long as it's feasible for me to command it. 

...huh.

I don't think I can help with that, kobolds do things too differently.

If I had merely been missing for that long it'd make perfect sense, thirty years is not long compared to how long I knew those people. But since I've been tampered with I shouldn't be in charge of anyone until I'm well enough.