How?

It's possible you're not? They've been a lot less curious than I would have expected, really. But if they're just waiting to see it from you - they won't have to figure out what the truth is to figure out that you're keeping something from them, and that might not hurt them as much but it'll still hurt them, I think.

I have a reputation for liking secrets for my own entertainment, so that might not bother them too much.

Might, yeah.

I think how I'd see it, in your position, would be that the victory would be in not letting this divide you from them or damage your relationships. Which, I'm not sure there's a way to get both of those victories? And it's definitely up to you which you care about. But it definitely doesn't seem as straightforward to me as it seems to to you.

I can fix our relationship after the war. And I'll have relearned how to people, that'll help.

...if you haven't damaged it beyond repair in the meantime...

They're my brothers. I couldn't if I wanted to.

She continues making a skeptical face at him for another few seconds. May I talk to Findekáno about this?

Yeah.

Thanks. If you're right I don't want to push, but if you're missing how big of a risk you're taking because you don't think it's a real risk... I still won't stop you but I'd at least like to know what problems it's going to cause. She sighs.

I trust Findekáno. If it's really him he'll be able to help you figure it out.

Yeah. Another sigh. Hate this.

I'm sorry. And on your day off. You really don't need to worry about me.

It's not your fault and yes I do, I wouldn't be myself if I didn't. I'm just frustrated, I'll be fine.

That's the Enemy. Hurting everyone I touch, like he's found a way to use me even if I don't think he made me his...

She makes that face again, stares him down for a second. I'd rather this than have left you there. The point of life isn't to get through it with as little annoyance as possible.

I'll take your word for it. The only point I've got left is stopping him but I do think there used to be other ones.

She stops, thinks for a second, sighs and relaxes. I want things to be better for you; that doesn't mean I'm not okay with how things are now. Even when it's frustrating. I don't mind having emotions about things.

I appreciate it when you get angry on my behalf. I feel cared-for.

Yeah. I still don't want to end up angry at you.

If it helps, your angry body language doesn't come across as very threatening, it's not terrifying the way any Quendi being angry at me would be...

That's good, I guess. Though you haven't actually seen me the threatening kind of angry yet. That almost definitely won't be directed at you if you ever do, just, probably shouldn't be a surprise that it could happen.

Good to know, but I'd find it upsetting if Quendi got angry even if it wasn't threatening, I just have the associations now...

...yeah. Right, that.

If that ever comes up, it might not be the best option, but you can just teleport back here and ask me to go talk to them for you. Or someplace else, if I wind up needing to let Findekáno come by again or something; it shouldn't be hard to make sure you always have a place you can get to that nobody but you and me can teleport to.

Thank you. I will do that if I need to. He doesn't say that 'finding it unpleasant' would obviously not count as a reason to need to.