...I didn't even set you up with the action movie channel, can you be more specific?

People commit crimes! Sometimes they slap each other! They say all kinds of things, they kiss on television, they sleep with people they aren't married to, someone pulled someone's hair...

How can you possibly have rules about whether kissing on television is okay when you don't have television. And I told you, hair's not special for humans.

I know, it was just upsetting to watch. And I've never seen people kiss. It isn't done in public.

If it was bothering you why didn't you turn it off?

It was bothering me that it was happening, not that I was seeing it!

...they're actors. They were acting out stories, not actually hurting each other or cheating on their spouses or whatever.

Oh, good.

But I suppose I shouldn't show you the news, since that's all real or close enough. Maybe tomorrow night it can be kids' cartoons or something, they can get slapsticky but it's tonally lighter? I don't know if that actually helps or not.

Probably. It was pretty intense. I just wanted to help, and...

Just stories, all just stories. - What do Elves tell stories about?

History, mostly. Faraway places. The music of creation. There are stories meant to teach children things. We don't just make up stories with so many details they could be real, not that I've ever heard of.

We can find you some cartoons. Do you want to come along while I catch Raine?

Yeah. I feel safer with you.

Okay. I do have to kill a fluff to talk to her without it supervising, it won't come back fast enough to interfere. That's not gonna freak you out?

I promise not to freak out.

Okay, cool.

Bella drives them out to another part of Seattle. She parks and then she transforms and pauses time and nips out and then something in a tree around the corner falls limply to the ground, red holes in white fur, while Bella tucks a gun back into her shield.

This way.

She does not freak out. It helps a lot that the fluff looks like an animal, though maybe it shouldn't help as much as it does.

And Bella strolls along the sidewalk, in her civvies with her soul gem in bauble form like she's dowsing.

And a short-haired strawberry blonde in a school uniform who was sitting in the bushes and looks like she's been recently crying sticks her head out and looks at Bella and Lúthien.

"Are - are you a magical girl," she asks Bella.

"Yeah - but I usually use the Latin," Bella replies. "Isn't it school hours?"

"I'm skipping," says Raine. "What's your name?"

"Bella."

"Does she know about magical girls too -" Raine glances up at Lúthien.

"Yeah, but she doesn't speak much English," Bella says.

"I don't speak English!!!" Lúthien says, beaming.

"Wow," says Raine, eyes lingering on Lúthien a little. "So - so what's it like, Kyubey thinks I shouldn't talk to any of the magical girls around here -"

"I'm not from here, I'm nomadic," Bella says. "Personally I'm glad I had the option to become a magical girl but you've gotta be really careful what you wish for."

"So she hasn't decided yet? What's her name?"

"Her name's Lúthien. We think she's too old, but Kyubey hasn't checked."

"Is she your girlfriend?"

"...No."

She cannot understand the conversation! She beams at Raine anyway.

"I'm worried somebody'll see me cutting class here," says Raine, "but I really wanna talk about magical girl stuff... Kyubey's sweet but not really easy to talk to, you know?"

"I know what you mean. We could go sit in my car if you want?"

"Okay! I mean that's probably a bad idea in theory but like you're a magical girl and Kyubey's not here you wouldn't need a car to abduct me or anything."

"...That's one way to think about it."

So they walk back to the car.

She walks with them.

And they talk magical girl stuff and

Fuck, I think she wound up crushing on you instead of me, I should've seen that coming, you're prettier -