"I-I I know you've been- helping me. And I'm grateful. I am." (It's important Castiel knows that.) "B-but I'm wrong. And bad. And the-the only way to fix that is to- to- remind me. And hurt me. And-and-" his voice catches and gives out and he curls in on himself, wrapping his arms around his knees and burying his face into them.

"There is nothing bad about you, Nova." Castiel sounds almost urgent, he doesn't understand how Nova could actually be so disparaging of himself. "Hurting yourself won't do anything to help. I apologize for not realizing how you felt earlier. I could have prevented this."

"But- I- They always, they always said-" he rocks himself. "They said I had to- they had to- they had to- make me- I- they told me." (There's a level of 'why would they lie to me?' wrapped in his words.)

"They told you those things to make you cooperate. To make you obey. There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing that needs fixing." His voice is quiet but intense. He wants Nova to understand this.

Nova stills, staring blankly at Castiel's shoulder. That doesn't-

It sounds too good, sounds wrong (he wants it to be true).

"I- as- as you say," he mumbles eventually, the closest he can get to agreement.

Castiel nods, standing. "You should clean that wound soon. It will heal quickly on its own, but you should make sure it stays clean nevertheless." He turns to go but pauses at the door. "Are you going to be alright alone?"

He nods quickly. "Yessir," he says hurriedly.

Castiel nods, though slightly unconvinced. "I will leave you alone then. Come into the kitchen when you're ready, if you want to eat something."

"I- yessir," he agrees.

Once he's left alone, he'll tend to the scratches. It takes him a little while of tilting the words in his head before he decides that it was an instruction to go to the kitchen, and does so.

While Nova is cleaning himself up, Castiel prepares a plate of food for him in case he wants to eat. He sets it out on the counter when Nova walks in. "How are you feeling?"

"I- fine, sir?" It sounds far more like a question than it should, but isn't necessarily wrong.

"Good." Castiel offered him an awkward smile. "Are you hungry?"

He's briefly quiet. "I- uh, I could eat, sir?"

Castiel hands him a plate of food. "I'll let you eat." He leaves the kitchen and makes his way up to the bedroom where he'd found Nova. He crouches down next to the bed and searches on the carpet until he finds what he is looking for. A razor, still slightly bloody, is lying on the floor next to the wall. Frowning, he picks it up, dropping it in the trash can on his way out.

When he gets back to the kitchen, Nova's finished the food, and cleaned his dishes, and is stood, fingers twisted together anxiously.

"Do you feel in the right state of mind to train? Or would you prefer to rest tonight?"

"I- I can train sir!" he insists, almost desperately. (This is what he's supposed to be doing here.) "I'm fine! I promise!"

"Alright then, let's start then." Castiel still seems doubtful, but leads Nova into the living room. "You've been making progress with your concentration and your control, so I am hoping to show you a few, more complex, techniques in order to stretch your ability."

He follows quietly, and nods slowly to what Castiel is saying. "I- what do you- need me to do sir?"

"I need you to focus inward and latch onto our grace, like we've been practicing." He pauses for a moment. "Do you have it?"

He does - if barely, he's unsettled, and off-centre from Castiel catching him earlier. He nods carefully.

"Good." Castiel nods, pleased. "Now take your hold on your grace and push it outward, away from your body. Focus it on something in this room. Feel your grace envelope it." Castiel pauses, waiting for Nova to nod that he's there before continuing. "Think of something simple, a simple action or task you want that object to complete. Once you have that, you'd grace will follow that command."

He tries, he does, focusing on a coaster, trying to lift it.

But he's unsettled, not entirely focused and-

And it catches fire instead. He flinches and curls in on himself. "Sorrysorrysorry."

Castiel reaches out and extinguishes the fire, not allowing the flames to spread for even a few seconds. "It's fine, Nova. It's a common mistake, and no harm was done. You just need to focus more on the exact task you want your grace to complete. Otherwise, it will get out of control."

He's shaking, definitely doesn't believe his words.

"I- I'm sorry. I thought I could," he ducks lower (making himself a smaller target). "I- I can't- my focuse- I'm sorry. I'm supposed to be- learning to control-"