He manages to fall asleep.
A while past midnight, as planned, he wakes up. Hoping that two closed doors and the width of a room between him and Aleko will stifle the sound enough, he puts on his shoes.
Shoes on - he doesn't need more clothes than the loose shorts he was sleeping in - Loel opens the kitchen door. It's light enough that with even this small amount of wind, he has to fight with the door a little to prevent it from escaping him and slamming itself either open or shut.
He gets up, steps into his shoes, and follows.
And when he hears Aleko behind him, he stops and looks back.
"Where're you going in the middle of the night half-naked in the rain?" inquires Aleko from the kitchen door.
"Do you really want to know? You probably won't like it."
"I'm going to go see if I can breathe water," he says. "Could be it'll turn out I can't."
"...Why're you doing this now and not back in Welce with Auney Dochenza standing over you to force air down your throat if the answer is 'no this is not a power you have'?"
"It's complicated," he sighs. "I explained it to Kiri but explaining things to Kiri is especially easy. It's something like... I don't want to go back, but it's going to mess up the primacy if I stay. And the way I am now, I'd pretty much rather be dead in Thiyec than alive in Welce, but if I do this and I come out breathing water I can tell it's going to change the way I think about some things. Enough that maybe I could go back without wanting to kill myself. But that's only if it works. If somebody rescues me, it won't make any difference, and I'll still be... somebody who won't make a good coru prime, any which way."
"I think it might actually mean that, if it really doesn't make sense and this isn't just me not understanding you. Kiri knows you're gonna attempt suicide and she's okay with it? Because that's - weird for her, weird for anybody but especially her."
"That's kind of what I meant, is of course it doesn't make sense to you, 'cause you're not me and you can't read my mind," he says. "She isn't happy about it. But I'm pretty sure she knows she can't stop me."
"What am I supposed to do, go back to bed while you see if Lalindars can drown? Aren't you supposed to dunk in the Marisi River first anyway?"
"Dunking in the Marisi River first is one of those things I would rather die than do."
"There's parts of the Marisi that aren't anywhere near the palace. I think it might even run into a place that's technically Berringey, if you go far enough west?"
"Seriously, dude, if you drown yourself we - what, I guess we go home, keep mum about it forever, find another Lalindar who doesn't have a damn deathwish, sure, but also you will be dead and we get to wonder forever if that had to happen. Kiri will regret finding you, I'll get to listen to her crying in the middle of the night wishing she'd just left you alone at least until your dad was dead or the Serlast prime turned up or something, also did I mention you will be dead?"