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Kiri stays away for weeks, and then she's back, and then she goes to the Ardelay house to learn her way around it and make (thoroughly advised) decisions about staff maintenance, and then she's back, and then she leaves again to be at the Chialto house, but this time Ko is allowed to go with her.
(At a safe distance.)
It's a long boring ride, or it would be boring, but Kiri has learned to make harmless fire-shapes in the air and entertains him with swirls and streamers of it crackling alongside the carriage until she decides to take a nap.
He's not going to be able to sleep in this carriage, it bumps too much, but he can scoot over and sort of nudge part of her onto his lap while she mumbles words.
(And then lurch away from her once she stops partway through "interior decoration".)
She smiles a sad smile at him like she always does when she wakes up and finds him halfway across the room. Or in this case, the carriage.
"You're not even huggy," he observes, on this occasion. "Not like Jayce is anyway." (Jayce is a very huggy little boy.)
She shrugs. "If I didn't have a family and it was just me, and distant Ardelay relatives I barely know, and stuff, then that would be fine probably. We just used to be next to each other all the time and now we can't. I don't need hugging, I just want my brothers."
Ko thinks about this, but doesn't get much of anywhere. Kiri's the smart one, all sweela, always thinking and writing. He isn't going to come up with a solution if she can't, probably.
"I could just try it again," he says.
"You didn't like it last time," she says.
"Yeah, but, you weren't mean about it or anything."
"Why would I be mean because you had to go to the bathroom?"
"I dunno." He fidgets, and looks out the window.
She makes a fire-dart that follows the path of his eyes.
They arrive in Chialto, and wait for the arrival of the prince.
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liakoura
calescent
"I'll probably just make up a word, but it won't be pronounceable because it will be in code from the beginning instead of being translated. I make up words like that sometimes."
"What are some of the other ones for?"
calescent
"Well, if I had good ways to describe them I wouldn't have to make stuff up. There's..." She takes out her notebook and flips through it for an example. "I started making up words for some of the ways it feels to do fire things or the prime handholding magic thing or mindreading, there's that. Things where I can go that thing, and know what I mean, but couldn't explain it, I make up words."
"Huh," he says.
It makes sense that those are the things she needs that kind of word for. Not very many people are primes, and only one of those at a time is a sweela prime, and he isn't even sure if any other sweela primes before Kiri could read minds, so those aren't the kinds of things that lots of people talk to each other about.
It makes sense that those are the things she needs that kind of word for. Not very many people are primes, and only one of those at a time is a sweela prime, and he isn't even sure if any other sweela primes before Kiri could read minds, so those aren't the kinds of things that lots of people talk to each other about.
calescent
"But there were things before that too. For particular moods that have words that are almost but not quite right or whatever."
"That makes sense too, I guess."
calescent
"And then I have everything all written down to read later if I want to know what I used to be like or what I was thinking last Quinnelay or something. I didn't start till I was six though so I don't have anything before that."
He supposes he can see the value in that, but he is not compelled to try it.
"Mm," shrugs the prince. It's less about bothering - about putting in effort - and more that he doesn't know if he would benefit from the result. Kiri seems to, but Kiri is not him. He isn't sure he would enjoy being followed around by what he used to be like. It might interfere with what he is like, which is something he already knows how to be in exactly the way that he wants.
calescent
"Huh. I avoid being - followed around by what I used to be like, by knowing what it was and what I would like it to be instead."
The prince giggles. His followed-around metaphor sounds a lot funnier out loud in words.
"What I'd like to be is what I am," he says, which is probably not the clearest way to express what he means, but luckily Kiri can read his mind.
It expands to something like: he has exactly the nature of being himself, already, without having to do anything about it. And remaining himself is exactly what he would like to do. But if he had some external or internal standard to compare himself to, then when something about him changed - which is still in the nature of being himself, and perfectly okay - he would notice the change, in a different way than how he usually does, and that might make it harder to be the new him instead of the old him, or instead of some other more standard-conforming him, or even some other less standard-conforming him. And he wouldn't like that. He would like to absolutely minimize the amount of second-guessing about his own personality that he is tempted to do.
"What I'd like to be is what I am," he says, which is probably not the clearest way to express what he means, but luckily Kiri can read his mind.
It expands to something like: he has exactly the nature of being himself, already, without having to do anything about it. And remaining himself is exactly what he would like to do. But if he had some external or internal standard to compare himself to, then when something about him changed - which is still in the nature of being himself, and perfectly okay - he would notice the change, in a different way than how he usually does, and that might make it harder to be the new him instead of the old him, or instead of some other more standard-conforming him, or even some other less standard-conforming him. And he wouldn't like that. He would like to absolutely minimize the amount of second-guessing about his own personality that he is tempted to do.
calescent
"Should I not tell you if I notice you changing some way?"
"Maybe. I dunno."
It would be interesting to see what she notices about him. And that is different from having a record the way he was thinking about, because Kiri is not following him around all the time taking notes on what he is like. At least, he doesn't think so. If she is, she is doing it very sneakily. The thought of her secretly following him around with a notebook, hiding behind couches and statues and trees, makes him giggle again.
It would be interesting to see what she notices about him. And that is different from having a record the way he was thinking about, because Kiri is not following him around all the time taking notes on what he is like. At least, he doesn't think so. If she is, she is doing it very sneakily. The thought of her secretly following him around with a notebook, hiding behind couches and statues and trees, makes him giggle again.
calescent
Kiri laughs. "I'm not doing that! I have things to do besides take notes on you."
"I thought so!" he agrees, giggling. "So I think it's okay."
He grins at her.
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