"Your world is terrible. That's probably why it's taken you longer than Loki to become epic."

"What, how old is she?"

"Coming up on nine hundred, I think?"

"...I'm, like, approaching forty."

"Really? Hmm. Then you'll probably be fine."

"What took her so long?"

"Her people come of age even slower than Quendi in Valinor, and her magic system takes decades to develop anything with. Even once we'd invented a way for her to experience time at three times the rate of everyone around her it took decades of nonstop work to get teleportation."

"Okay, that's a reasonable excuse. And here I freaked out when I noticed Valinor was screwing with my time sense and I'd spent a Valian Year like it was a regular one."

"I left so I could grow up faster."

"That was a very good idea. Shall we test your communication device?"

"Sure, if you'll hold the door I'll call Rúmil."

They hold the doors. He thought of more things  Fëanáro should know about metalworking and says them.

And Bella calls Rúmil on her earwire.

"Hello."

"Hi, Rúmil, we found an interplanar bar with a grownup Fëanáro in it whose version of me is very different and didn't show up until later in Arda's history and I just wanted to make sure his plane isn't too far away from the one you're in for us to get home without the interplanar bar involved!"

"...huh. A grownup  Fëanáro? In the sense you saw?"

"Mostly? His version of me showed up in time to stop him from dying and they won a very important-sounding war. But she only got there after he killed a bunch of people. But they're back now."

"After he'd killed a bunch of people? And she still - oh no -"

"I think it sounds like things are stably okay now? I would ask their me but they don't know what planet she's on at the moment."

"He killed a lot of people and now that they're back things are just okay? I have a bit of a hard time imagining that."

"It did sound more complicated than that, do you want to talk to him?"

"Could I?"

"Hey, Grownup Fëanáro, do you want to talk to our Rúmil?"

"...sure. What's he up to? He came with you?"

"Yeah, he did."

"Hi,"  Fëanáro says. "D'you want the last four hundred years of linguistic development of Quenya because I can just send some papers back with Bella and your me-"

"Actually,' he says, "I was worried about you."

"Don't be, I'm fine. I spent a few decades attempting suicide-by-evil-Vala, in hindsight - at the time I had been calling the impulse 'optimism' - but I had some good people around to catch me and we won."

"I am very glad to hear it."

"Don't trust Melkor."

"Duly noted."

"I have amazing children."

"I do not doubt that at all."