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Bella visits her minions (and other demonic populations on Mercury) regularly, compliments them on nifty bits of gardening when applicable, makes sure they don't need anything, and is considering soon asking them if they want an Interdimensional Internet terminal despite the fact that her Earth is not yet prepared. Not today, though. The other worlds don't even have that rolled out yet.
In she pops to their common room.
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cross_and_bow
He nods several times and scurries off, reappearing a few minutes later with a string of five minions, each carrying an unopened can of grape soda.
The first one in line holds out his can and says humbly, "May I have your permission to breed, your majesty?"
The first one in line holds out his can and says humbly, "May I have your permission to breed, your majesty?"
cross_and_bow
Bella takes the can and then hands it back. "You may, and with my blessing," she says.
He beams. "Thank you, your majesty!"
Up steps the next one. She does the same thing. There are three apparent she-minions and two apparent he-minions in the group, arranged in no particular order.
Up steps the next one. She does the same thing. There are three apparent she-minions and two apparent he-minions in the group, arranged in no particular order.
cross_and_bow
"Okay. Well, best of luck at parenting to all of you. Is there anything else while I'm here?"
cross_and_bow
"Hi, Jarvis!" She can faintly hear the sounds of violin playing and floats her way up the stairs towards it.
eversomuchfun
Eventually, he finishes the piece, puts the violin down, and twirls over to give her a hug.
"What's new with the minions, love?"
"What's new with the minions, love?"
cross_and_bow
Hug! "Turns out they require divine permission to reproduce, so I blessed... five cans of grape soda... and presumably can expect baby minions in the future."
eversomuchfun
...He laughs.
"Of fucking course they do," he says, definitely not in the tone of someone who actually predicted this. "Why grape soda in particular, or did you decline to ask?"
"Of fucking course they do," he says, definitely not in the tone of someone who actually predicted this. "Why grape soda in particular, or did you decline to ask?"
cross_and_bow
"I did not ask why grape soda in particular. From the description of what I was supposed to do it could have been any beverage, maybe they just like it. If it was supposed to be a solid food I would have expected M&Ms."
cross_and_bow
"I asked the one who explained it to me if this was why they were minions and he said 'not exactly' -" She proceeds to relate the conversation, verbatim.
cross_and_bow
Snuggles! Giggles! "He looked uncomfortable so I didn't push him any farther about what is so great about being a minion," she adds. "I wonder if baby minions with a, you know, non-hellish deity will be so keen on the career prospect. I'd be perfectly happy to set them up in another little village like I did with the other Mercury imports."
eversomuchfun
"We'll see, I suppose. Do you happen to know how fast baby minions grow into the non-baby variety?"