"As long as we're comparing, you do definitely win on duration, and you're competitive on peak misery but Brilliance has you beat there," Elspeth adds. "I think emotional despair is still best embodied as a vampire with a dead mate."
"Wait, what?" says Brilliance. "Peak misery like - pain? I win over the guy who got tortured by demons for two thousand years?"
"Well, you didn't spend two thousand years at it, so I'm not sure if you'd have been well advised to trade if that had been an option, but your worst parts were more painful than his worst parts," says Elspeth.
"Anyway," says Elspeth, "the baby one has not been rescued yet, and it's not unusually terrible yet but it's going to get that way any week now, so what else do we need to know before I go get him?"
"Pretty sure you're covered," says the Joker. "Enough to go get him, anyway. We should maybe talk about names and stuff, but that can come later."
"Jane," she says, "can you drop me in that world, please?"
And she's in the unobtrusive underground Janepoint that Pattern made in this world back when she was doing her post-Downside-takeover tour.
And she teleports to where the baby Joker is right now.
"Hello," says Elspeth. "I'm from another world. This isn't a good place for your baby. I'm going to take him away and look after him." She scoops the baby Joker up out of his crib. And she sterilizes his father, because no one needs an extra Voice.
"My name is Elspeth," says Elspeth. "And I know he's your son, and if it were just you maybe I'd leave him, but it's not just you. Is it."
Elspeth cradles the baby Joker. "If I leave him here your husband will hurt him. Badly. Often. He's already started, just a little, and it will only get worse. The entire mess is overwhelmingly likely to end with you and your husband dead," she adds.
And she cues Jane, and she goes.
"Here he is," says Elspeth to the deck and peal. "I told his mother that she could send an email to anywhere in a few years, if she still wants him then, and we could talk about it. Also there will be no Voices coming from that world."