"You live in a crypt?" He starts snickering. This proves to be a poor strategic choice. "Ow. Fuck. Taking the aesthetic a little far, aren't you?"

"All the cool kids live in crypts these days."

"If you say so. Okay then," he says. "So what are my options besides vampirism?"

"I can call you a shitty Sunnydale ambulance and you can go to the shitty Sunnydale hospital and definitely never get back full use of that hand, and maybe not the other arm either depending how bad it is - what the fuck did you do to yourself, anyway? - or I can turn you and you can be a vampire whose arms both work. I mean, or I could leave you here and the next person who comes along might have a better offer, but they also might think you look like a great midnight snack."

"What a charming selection."

He contemplates this decision. He sighs.

"Is there some kind of hidden catch to vampirism?"

"I dunno, do you have strong feelings about losing your soul? A lot of vampires turn out to be assholes, but I totally kept my charming personality, I bet you would too. You have a very charming personality."

He laughs softly, wincing when the movement jars his shattered hand. "Thanks. I'm, uh, not much of a theist, personally. Souls as an abstract concept aren't a point of major concern."

"Sounds like we're in business, then! My good deed for the day."

Miles smiles at him.

"God you're cute. Point that thing somewhere else, I feel like I'm gonna catch fire."

He utters a choked-off giggle. "Ow! Dammit!"

"Sorry," he says, not sounding terribly sorry. "So are we doing this or what?"

"...The blood drinking part, is that going to hurt?"

"Well, it could," says Zeke. "Or it could, like, not hurt."

Miles observes that smile.

"...Let's go with 'not hurt'," he says. Why the hell not.

"Good choice!" says Zeke.

He crouches down by Miles and nips his wrist and offers it.

This is supremely weird, but - Miles has a good sense of people. This person is not lying to him, and not crazy. There might be a better option available but it's not one he can find lying on his back in an alley with both arms broken.

And it's... not the worst thing in the world. Awfully unsanitary, of course, but then so is this puddle he's bleeding in.

And then Zeke leans down further, and bites him.

It doesn't hurt.

It kind of the opposite of hurts, in fact.

Yes, Miles caught that implication, but he wasn't quite expecting it to be so - intense about it.

Wow.

What a good midnight snack.

He just barely retains the presence of mind to be slightly alarmed when he notices consciousness slipping away from him, but there's not much he can do about it from here. He relaxes, and then he's out.

And a minute later when Miles's heart stops, Zeke scoops him up and carries him off. He's light as a feather. Like, okay, he's short and a little on the skinny side and kind of low on body fluids right now, but is he literally a bird or what?

There is a snapping sound. Zeke stops. He looks down at Miles. He resettles Miles in his arms, much more carefully, and starts walking again, slower. Because holy shit he just broke this guy's ribs by accident. At least he's too dead to complain, and by the time he wakes up it'll all be fixed anyway. Right? Right.

Nobody bothers them on the way.

Miles spends three nights as a corpse, tucked cozily into Zeke's bed.

On the third night, he wakes.

He opens his eyes, and he's in no pain at all. His senses are inhumanly sharp. When he moves, he moves with unprecedented strength and precision.

"Cool," he says, grinning.

"I know, right? Wanna make out?"

"Sure, why not."

Miles kisses him and wow what a good decision that was, vampire senses are the actual best.

"You know," he remarks between kisses, "before today, I thought I wasn't interested in men." Kiss. "Is bisexuality a common side effect of vampirism," kiss, "or was I just an idiot?"