[I can't imagine it hasn't occurred to you that most people don't have such a streamlined process for finding those answers,] he says after a moment.

[Oh, it's occurred to me. I just don't know how you not-me people can live in such untidy brains or get anything done.]

[Very inefficiently.]

[Maybe I should write a self-help book. Figuring Out What You Want In Order To Get It By More Than Sheer Coincidence Sometimes.]

[I think you want to work on that title,] he says dryly.

[Nope! I don't! It is a dramatically lower priority than all kinds of other things.]

He snorts.

[Anyway. Birthday. September thirteenth. Gonna be eighteen. Get me a present or I shall look so terribly disappointed at you.]

[A book on magic,] he promises.

"So predictable."

"A bit. I will like the book on magic, though, I bet. And hopefully I'll be able to use it to reasonable effect in the absence of squares. If, before I have learned enough magic to have a reasonable shot at surviving the next apocalypse, another apocalypse threatens - I'm asking Jarvis for a door and I'm taking anyone who'll come with me, especially you, and not coming back."

She's not unaware of that disadvantage. But Jarvis isn't a laptop; they can't grab him on the way out.

And if it actually happens, they will have plenty of time to plan a rescue from the other side.

"Hello, Arthur," he says, adjusting his glasses. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Why, young Isabella's birthday," says Arthur. "It's time for her test."

"Yes, of course, Rupert. She's turned eighteen. We would have given you notice, but you didn't inform us of her birth date, and so when we looked it up and it was so soon there was a bit of a scramble."

"Is the test really necessary?"

"Rupert," says Arthur. "I'm surprised you have to ask. It's been ongoing for centuries. It's a structured way to determine how the Slayer handles herself in a situation where she can't rely on her usual tricks. If she's not up to the task, certainly it's best to roll the dice again before leaving the demons with a subpar Slayer to become complacent about? We are talking about the protector of the entire world, she who stands against the darkness, are we not?"

"Arthur," says Rupert. "Not to put too fine a point on it, this Slayer is smarter than you are. She was standing against the darkness just fine before I found her, and would no doubt continue to do so just fine if the entire Watcher's Council were wiped off the planet by a very choosy plague."

"Well, then," says Arthur mildly, "if you're right, and not simply blinded by your particular closeness to this girl, then she should have no problem with the test, should she? Now, I've brought you the suppressants; do you believe you'll be able to convince her to hold still for a syringe or should I show you how to load them into the blowdart?"