"Mm. Mine's parents divorced rather acrimoniously as soon as there were public allegations. I've always found Judith sort of vaguely inoffensive. But I can understand not caring much if she was collateral damage."

"Yyyep," he says, "that sounds like mom. Never says a word as long as he can keep it under wraps, but once it gets out there—abandon ship!"

"At the trial she said she was afraid he'd turn on her," Bella says.

He shrugs. "Maybe she was."

"At any rate, Alice mostly doesn't live with her anymore. Hangs around the house sometimes - he's fond of the housekeeper, she's neat - but I made him an underground lair where he hangs out and bakes and sews and sets himself on fire."

The Joker flashes a quick, appreciative grin. "Sounds like the life."

"He likes it," Bella says cheerily.

"I'll bet he does." He smirks slightly. "So are you two...?"

"Oh, he fell in love with me way back in February," says Bella. "Then over the summer we zoomed around Europe a bit and I decided to kiss him on top of Mount Everest and start referring to him as my boyfriend to random people to whom such a reference might be called for."

"...Yes?" Bella laughs. "Not in the habit of doing either of the above with anybody else."

"We-ell, you could just be after him for his pretty face."

"He has got a pretty face, but nah, I also like him."

"Must be nice," he muses.

"So," Bella says, "how about you? Also nice? Not so nice?"

"The girl I like threw me off a building last month," he says dreamily. "Caught me on the way down, but you can't have everything."

"Why, were you hoping to splat? If you had Wolverine powers like me and Alice I think you'd be less visibly damaged. He burned off all his scars by setting himself on fire without fully thinking it through, and hasn't put them back so far."

"He have any good ones?" he inquires. "Or didja not see 'em all?"

"I didn't personally lay eyes on all of them in person," Bella shrugs, "but I can read his mind and we also have perfect recall, so, if I'm ever curious, the information's there. There was one on his neck he sometimes touched as a nervous habit." She peers at the Joker, looking for a match. "The others had less... interesting... stories."

"Similar. Not exact."

"And what was the story?"

"You know, I'm not actually sure of the status of that story as a secret or not, and it's the sort of thing that might be. Are you interested enough for me to check in with him?"

"Betcha I already know," he says. "I'm surprised, though. I got that one after I left home. It had a friend, too—if you ever got his pants off you woulda seen it for sure."

"I bet you already know too," Bella says, "but in case you don't, or in case he'd mind regardless, I'm not sharing without checking."