oh dear | Glowfic Constellation

"Shockingly, I own real estate. This includes properties more or less anywhere in the world, including excellent apartments in major cities. Also, I can get them appropriate work if they want; GKI is always hiring, and I have pull in any number of other areas. Just say the word, as they say."

point_b

"Alli's asking, but at a guess Renée will want to come and teach kindergarten in a major city with warm weather and Charlie will stay home. I feel like I should ask, though - my participation is not actually logistically required for you to arbitrage with my world. While I do in fact feel sort of proprietary about the entire thing, it is surprising that someone else would also think that it is mine. What gives?"

Phase smiles. "Astute. Mostly, it's that you make an excellent point of first contact, and your voluntary participation makes things much, much easier, both magically and legally. There are laws, if poorly written and defined, about dimensional poaching; your involvement means that you can sign forms about your world not being a tropical paradise full of oil that I'm exploiting, or something. Also, you're affiliated with your local super-being organization, which is useful in the eventuality that I contact them with regards to Yellowstone. And I do plan to do something about Yellowstone. Primarily because I'm a basically decent human being, but also..." They shrug. "Can you imagine the brownie points?"

point_b

"Hella brownie points," agrees Bella. "Hang on - mmhm? Yeah, that's about what I thought. Does she want Phoenix or would Phoenix make her sad? Mm-hm. Under the circumstances, maybe. Yeah, I wondered that too, apparently I'm a convenient representative for paperwork and talking to the Junebugs and stuff. Well, enough that it's worth paying for the convenience and the goodwill, I guess? I don't have an exact figure. I assume the results will net positive over shortish timescales regardless though."

"I mean, I'm also going to arrange for a small percentage of the mithril your friend produces," they note conversationally. "But my net gain irrespective of that is projected around $150 million, so I can spend a couple of houses."

point_b

"They say a hundred fifty million. No, just one, I just can't tell. It seems to happen a lot around here. Alli, they're standing right next to me, okay?"

"Call me 'he' if you like. My gender is pretty permissive."

point_b

"He says, 'call me he if you like, my gender is pretty permissive', end quote. You're asking me? Yeah, I know. Yes, I know you're tired. Do we have firm enough answers to be getting on with? Okay. Yeah, go ahead."

Phase waits patiently. He idly waves a hand through Ms. Carson's desk and comes out with a chocolate chip cookie, which he nibbles fastidiously.

"How did you even know they were there?" she hisses.

He shrugs. "Chocolate."

point_b

Bella giggles. "My guess was right, and if there is for some insane reason an English language kindergarten in a pleasant Mediterranean coastal town you can make Renée's dreams come true, but she will also settle for a kindergarten in Dallas or a kindergarten-free Mediterranean coastal town."

"I'm sure she could tutor them; everyone's very up on English, these days. Or there are private schools that teach mostly in English for immersion. I don't know that I can find an appropriately coastal and kindergartenish one, but I do love a challenge."

point_b

"She could probably be talked into first or second grade, if that matters."

"Oh, that's much easier. I'll set something up... mm, near Nice. Unless she has a specific preference, but Nice is an old favorite."

point_b

"I think by Mediterranean she intended to imply Greece and neighboring islands but I bet you she'd take Nice in a heartbeat anyway."

"You know her best. I'll make the calls tomorrow evening; if her preferences are unexpectedly strong, just call me. Oh, speaking of which."

A business card is retrieved and handed over. It's understated and elegant. Naturally.

point_b

"Thanks! I don't have cards, but I have a phone -" She writes down her phone number. "Do you need my schedule, or does Mrs. Carson need my permission to give you my schedule, or...?"

"I would need that, yes," Ms. Carson says with an admirably straight face. "I'm sure Phase would appreciate it."

Phase rolls her eyes. "Elizabeth. I do not use my international spy network to acquire student information."

Ms. Carson gives her a patient look.

"...when I could also just get it by asking."

point_b

"Phase may be informed of my class schedule. In fact, anyone non-evil who credibly wants to make me a lot of money with the information may be told my class schedule, but Phase got here first."

"Thank you," Phase says graciously. "And it was lovely meeting you. Now, Elizabeth: before you ask, yes, tea would be lovely, and yes, I do have a meeting that I really cannot reschedule, and how does tomorrow at three in Boston sound?"

"Just fine, as well you know. Do bring Vanessa along, I haven't seen her in ages."

"I'll try."

In one fluid movement he stands from his chair, crouches, and leaps, passing through the ceiling without a trace.

Ms. Carson sighs. "Always did need to make an exit."

point_b

"Passing through solid objects is not the most obviously capitalism-friendly power I've ever heard of," remarks Bella.