This post's authors have general content warnings that might apply to the current post.
View Flat HTML
View Metadata
Search Post
Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.
He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.
It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.
"Oh dear," Morty says faintly.
Flicker at Whateley
in-like-a-lion
"Telepathic nudgery. Fuub and I are bros, he has standing permission to read my mind and I can call him up on the brainaphone to chat whenever. He's chill."
point_b
"Right. Mrs. Grimes is going to ward me against that. Where would I find her and do you want to come?"
in-like-a-lion
"Aw, but he's cool. Not gonna push you, though. Grimesy's in Kirby Hall. I'll have to let you in, the Mystic Arts department is warded against nonmages being able to see it for whatever stupid reason. She'd notice you and get the door eventually, but it's kind of a hassle. Shall we?" She zooms out of bed and holds out her arm with the utmost politeness.
in-like-a-lion
"Not very well. I'm being facetious, if you can actually take passengers then by all means. And in case you need skin contact..."
She drops to the floor and her clothing falls almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement of gravity. "Force field: disengaged. Ech. Air always feels weird when I turn it off."
She drops to the floor and her clothing falls almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement of gravity. "Force field: disengaged. Ech. Air always feels weird when I turn it off."
point_b
"I don't need skin contact, but I do need something more absolute than the name of the building. Distance and direction, or latitude and longitude, or an intersection."
in-like-a-lion
She turns her field back on gratefully. "Oh, I thought we were going to stop in downstairs and get a map. That'd have intersections, nobody actually uses the 'street' names because it's easier to just memorize where all the buildings are. I could memorize the latitude and longitude of the front entrance to every building, if you want."
in-like-a-lion
"Yep!" She goes up to the front desk, this time actually using her legs for novelty's sake, and procures a map. She then zips back to Bella. "Here you go, madam."
point_b
"Thanks!" Bella peers at the map. Street names! Yay! Now she can take them to just outside Kirby Hall.
in-like-a-lion
Kirby Hall has exactly one door!
Ariel drops her field and grabs Bella's hand.
Kirby Hall has exactly two doors!
Ariel drops her field and grabs Bella's hand.
Kirby Hall has exactly two doors!
in-like-a-lion
"Yeah, it's pretty cool. Really friggin' inconvenient, though." The first door on the right is labeled "DEPARTMENT SUPERVISOR: ELYZIA GRIMES".
Ariel goes to knock, but the door opens as she raises her hand. She rolls her eyes. "Grimesy, I've told you that trick is tacky at least three times."
"But it impresses the uninitiated, which is all that matters. Enter, if you please."
Ariel goes to knock, but the door opens as she raises her hand. She rolls her eyes. "Grimesy, I've told you that trick is tacky at least three times."
"But it impresses the uninitiated, which is all that matters. Enter, if you please."
in-like-a-lion
Ms. Grimes looks Gothy and bored. More bored than Gothy at the moment, though the competition is fierce. "Yes. It's a fairly trivial working, and not one that most would bother with, but as you are our guest at Whateley I will not argue with you about your use of my time unless you impose on it on a more regular basis. Although... Miss Martin, you could have performed this yourself; why did you take this to me?"
"Nobody asked and you're better at magic than me?"
She sighs in disgust. "Very well. This will take only a moment."
She takes a pinch of blue powder and traces a sigil on her desk. She chants, in the same distracted monotone she has used for the rest of the meeting, then blows it towards Bella. Before the cloud hits her face, it flares with violet light and vanishes. "There. Don't let me detain you."
point_b
"Thank you," says Bella, and she peers at her map. "Next stop, debit card - Ariel, should I leave you here or someplace else?"
in-like-a-lion
"Back in my room, maybe? Not that Grimesy isn't great company, but she looks a bit busy."
"Please leave now."
"Very busy."
Schuester Hall is full of helpful directions to whatever office the querent may need. In the General Administration office, there is a large mahoganyish desk, behind which sits a beautiful blonde woman chewing gum and glaring at a computer. She notices Bella and gives her a smile full of Sucralose and veiled threat. "How can I help you, miss?"
point_b
"Hello. I'm a fish out of water and I was told I should come here to collect a debit card to tide me over until I can be sent home."
"Ah, that mess. Yes, yes. The card should be printed... here we go." A slot spits out a black card with a bit of heraldry on the front. "This has an allowance of $1000 per week; any extraordinary expenditure should be cleared with Mrs. Carson or myself. For your first week you have a starting fund of $10,000. Does all of that sound reasonable?"
point_b
"Unless inflation has been very different from projected trends at home, more than, yes, thank you."
She smiles thinly. "It's intended to be more than enough, yes. We aim to please our, ahem, visitors. Will there be anything else?"
in-like-a-lion
"You return! In one piece, even! How was the harpy queen of the seven hundredth hell?""