Morty knows he shouldn't be screwing around with multidimensional shit. It's dangerous, it's impractical, it's blah blah blah. But it's a potential key to unlimited energy, how does nobody see that? He's built a dimensional siphon (it kind of looks like a cardboard box with a funnel and a TI-84 taped to it, but it damn well works), keyed in the dimensional coordinates to a random plane, and by God he's going to use it.
He flips the switch and waits for the energy bar to fill up.
It does! It fills up very rapidly. Then it explodes, along with the box. There's rather more smoke than there should be, and once the smoke clears someone is standing there.
"Oh dear," Morty says faintly.
"You'll have to talk to administration about that, but fish out of water regulations say they have to give you a massive stipend and a debit card hooked up to it. And before you ask, I know this because after the second time I got sentenced to sewer maintenance detention, I read the Whateley handbook cover-to-cover. It's handy."
"Okay, cool, massive stipend. Where do I go to collect my debit card? Actually, is there somewhere I can just get a map of the campus?"
"There's a basket of 'em in the common room, I can fly down and get one for you. You can get the card in the Admin annex of Schuester Hall. Just ask for Miss Hartford. Don't look her directly in the eye, she might take it as a challenge and start barking at you."
"She's a bitch. Known to hold completely inexplicable grudges against people and do everything in her power to ruin their lives. I once had to physically threaten her to stop her from screwing with Sally's schedule. At which point Carson appeared to rein her back in and give me three weeks' worth of detention. I'm still asking around for someone willing to make a model for the woman in the combat sims so I can drop a house on her."
"She's one of the top ten technopaths in the world- that's computer mages. She keeps the devisors from crashing the Whateley interwebs every other day. And nobody seems quite sure why she's not just the sysadmin under the bed, but I have a feeling she demands power in compensation for staying here. There's ways to get around her, and if she doesn't actually hate you she's just apathetic and unpleasant, but she hates easy."
"Noted. I would like the map, and a room, and in the course of acquiring my debit card and things to put in my room I may acquire more questions for you if you're still around to answer them then."
"I can totally still be around! I can totally accompany you on any given mission, though it might be best if I wasn't around when you visited Hartford for blood feud reasons. But, like, shopping? All for it. And- oh, okay. Fubar just pinged me, he says Carson says you can pick whichever room you like in Dickinson but it'd work best if you were with the sophomores. And that Mrs. Grimes is out of her lecture and... 'she's been informed of the issue and can take care of it whenever'. And 'hi'."
"Oh, good, visiting Mrs. Grimes is in fact first on the priority list - how are you being pinged, here?"
"Telepathic nudgery. Fuub and I are bros, he has standing permission to read my mind and I can call him up on the brainaphone to chat whenever. He's chill."
"Right. Mrs. Grimes is going to ward me against that. Where would I find her and do you want to come?"
"Aw, but he's cool. Not gonna push you, though. Grimesy's in Kirby Hall. I'll have to let you in, the Mystic Arts department is warded against nonmages being able to see it for whatever stupid reason. She'd notice you and get the door eventually, but it's kind of a hassle. Shall we?" She zooms out of bed and holds out her arm with the utmost politeness.
She drops to the floor and her clothing falls almost imperceptibly in acknowledgement of gravity. "Force field: disengaged. Ech. Air always feels weird when I turn it off."
"I don't need skin contact, but I do need something more absolute than the name of the building. Distance and direction, or latitude and longitude, or an intersection."
She turns her field back on gratefully. "Oh, I thought we were going to stop in downstairs and get a map. That'd have intersections, nobody actually uses the 'street' names because it's easier to just memorize where all the buildings are. I could memorize the latitude and longitude of the front entrance to every building, if you want."
"Yep!" She goes up to the front desk, this time actually using her legs for novelty's sake, and procures a map. She then zips back to Bella. "Here you go, madam."
"Thanks!" Bella peers at the map. Street names! Yay! Now she can take them to just outside Kirby Hall.
Ariel drops her field and grabs Bella's hand.
Kirby Hall has exactly two doors!
Ariel goes to knock, but the door opens as she raises her hand. She rolls her eyes. "Grimesy, I've told you that trick is tacky at least three times."
"But it impresses the uninitiated, which is all that matters. Enter, if you please."
Ms. Grimes looks Gothy and bored. More bored than Gothy at the moment, though the competition is fierce. "Yes. It's a fairly trivial working, and not one that most would bother with, but as you are our guest at Whateley I will not argue with you about your use of my time unless you impose on it on a more regular basis. Although... Miss Martin, you could have performed this yourself; why did you take this to me?"
"Nobody asked and you're better at magic than me?"
She sighs in disgust. "Very well. This will take only a moment."
She takes a pinch of blue powder and traces a sigil on her desk. She chants, in the same distracted monotone she has used for the rest of the meeting, then blows it towards Bella. Before the cloud hits her face, it flares with violet light and vanishes. "There. Don't let me detain you."