...okay. They are going to do that. Nice chairs.

"Right. So." Derek claps his hands together.

"The Chelish government has contracted with me to teach you medicine, biology, anatomy and torture, which I'm collectively calling 'fleshlore'. I'm going to be teaching all of your for a term of four months, from Desnus to Arodus, though it might be longer or shorter. We'll see. Anyway, I'm going to be with you all for a while, so we should all introduce ourselves.

Hello, I'm Derek. My surname...uh...well the title for people who have my abilities is Bloodsinger. So maybe you can call me Derek Bloodsinger. The Bloodsinger Derek? Either one. But yeah, Just Derek is also fine. I'm 25 years old. I was born in...well I was born in a different plane, so you wouldn't know the place anyway. But our years are the same length! Our calendars are also really similar...

Hmm...I used to work as a prostitute and a pornographer. I have innate abilities which allow me to peer into the structure of flesh and modify it. Which is why I'm here teaching you all. Though I'm not licensed by any of the authorities that regulate medicine or biology where I'm from — I'm entirely self taught. This is my first time teaching, so I hope you will bear with me in case I'm not the best teacher.

Let's go around and say our name, age, hometown, and something interesting about ourselves. Hmm...let's go clockwise."

Fuck. Why is this happening. What does this have to do with anything. Okay.

"My name is Monica Rabassa, second-year student from the Ostenso Academy. I was born here in Ostenso too...I like illusion spells."

Is that sufficiently interesting? But she also does not want to be too interesting.

"Illusion...I should learn more about your magic. Since arcane magic is learnable. Right, you're a wizard student. Initially, they were planning on only having me teach seminary novices, but then they said that they were interested in having me teach wizard students too. Thank you, Monica. Is it fine if I call you Monica? Or do people here like, use surnames instead?

He refrains from commenting on the omission of age.

"Monica is fine, Derek."

It feels so awkward to just say his name like that, but he said it was fine, so...

Derek seems to be fine with it!

He gestures for the next person.

"Didac Colomer, first-year wizard student from Ostenso Academy. I am nineteen years old," he says, looking at Monica. He smiles. Imagine fucking up on your first day.

"I was born in Peramo. I also like illusion spells."

...she is not going to look torn up about it because she is an adult who can control herself.

"Chosen Asmodia Cardona. Pleased to meet you. Twenty-seven years old. Born in Left Hill. I was born on Loyalty Day."

"What's Loyalty Day?"

"Loyalty Day is the commemoration of the ending of the Chelish Civil War and the ascension of House Thrune. It's also called Signing Day."

"Ah, too bad it has already passed. Thank you."

Next person, please.

"Emili Planell, first-year wizard student from Ostenso Academy. Nineteen years old. Born in Ostenso." Okay, it seems like the Done Thing is say which school you like the best? He will follow.

"I like conjuration spells."

"Chosen Zefir Oriol. Twenty years old. Born in Laekastel. What sort of interesting thing would you want to know about me?"

"I think it's like...the sort of thing you feel is interesting about you is also informative of who you are as a person, in addition to the literal thing that you say. So please say whatever you feel is interesting about you."

Oh, it's that kind of situation. What to say...

"Understood, Derek. For myself...I disprefer the use of whips in torture and I prefer other implements."

"Why so?"

Uh oh, was that an incorrect answer?

"I feel like you have less control with a whip."

"I see. Yeah, it is harder to control, isn't it? Though personally, I'm rather inexperienced with whips, so maybe I just need more practice."

"Chosen Sonia Llovera. I am twenty three years old and was born in Torvo. My parents raised cows and one of them came out with two heads. I hope to learn more about why that happens, here."

...that wasn't really about her but she feels like Derek would like that answer.

"Oh, polycephaly! Was it viable? That is to say, did it live a long time?"

"No, it died soon after it was born."

It seems like she thought correctly.

"Alfons Carbonell, wizard student, twenty, born in Palovera. I really like transmutation spells and I hope these classes make me better at them."

He's saying it like he chose to be here, even though they were selected. But what he's saying is true, regardless.

"Okay, well, I don't know about that. Your magic seems very mathy and I know very little about it. Please do not get your hopes up on that matter specifically. Sorry."

That was not the correct answer, apparently.

...why is he apologizing????? What is he supposed to say?????

Well, he's going to be saved by the fact that Derek is gesturing for the next person to speak.

"I am Chosen Cosme Pujol, twenty-five years old, born in Egorian. I am a twin."

"Cool! Identical or fraternal?"

What do those mean.

"My twin is a woman," he says, in lieu of directly answering.

"I see! Fraternal. We'll probably cover twins one of these days."

He arranged for himself to be here because he thought he was going to be learning otherworldly torture techniques from an archdruid? Archsorcerer? But apparently, it seems like there will be a lot of book learning instead.

He's going to hold off on regretting his decision.

"Marta Pineda, twenty, born in Ostenso, favorite school is abjuration." Done!

"Abjuration is stuff like wards and protections, right? Why abjuration?"

THE OTHER WIZARDS DID NOT GET ASKED THIS QUESTION

"Yes, Derek. I think I just find abjurations the easiest for me to understand, so I like them the best."

Is that good enough for him?

"Relatable!"

Seems so.

"I am Chosen Irene Pujol, twenty-two years old, born in Ostenso. I don't like to draw blood when I torture people."

"Why not? I often feel similarly, but why not?"

"Break the skin and you have an open wound that can turn foul. I don't have Remove Disease."

"Wow! You are so advanced. That was one of the things I was going to teach about! I feel so useless now. And there's a spell that can just remove disease?"

Why is he saying things like that. It's unbecoming. Is it a kind of posturing? He is so secure in his station that he doesn't need to worry about threats to it?

"Yes, but it's third-circle, and so very limited. Cheliax would highly value any knowledge you have on more scalable and cheaper disease prevention and curing methods."

"I might have some classes touch on those directly, then. I've only laid out the barest bones of a curriculum. I didn't imagine I was going to be teaching, ha. Also, are you and Cosme related?"

She bets that's the real reason he was brought here — the lore necessary to create cheap disease cures. And the other stuff was just tacked on...but for what? He seems like he's having fun...maybe he just really likes teaching and that was to sweeten the deal? She doesn't have the whole context, and it makes her uneasy.

"No, we just have the same surname."

"Chosen Cir Horta. Nineteen years old. Born in Ostenso. Both of my parents were Hellknights."

"Hellknights. What a cool name. What are they? What do they do?"

"Hellknights enforce the law, in Cheliax and abroad."

Sounds super ominous but still cool!

...and she's last.

"Lia Albareda, Ostenso wizard student, twenty, born north of Ostenso. I like conjuration because Teleport is a conjuration spell. Teleport wizards make lots of money."

"Teleport! I don't have the ability to teleport, only plane shift. Alright, thank you everyone.

Hm. That's six men, six women, six Chosen, six wizards. Did you plan this?" He turns to look at Damian.

...okay, they probably shouldn't have made it that obvious.

"Yes, we wanted to have a balance.

"Okay! Thank you again, everyone, for introducing yourselves. Let me give you more context on what's about to happen. Before this, everyone please stand up and go behind me. I'm going to move things around."

Move move move.

Speaking and gesturing seems to be the Done Thing here, for spellcasting. So, he makes a grand flourish and utters some Latin-y syllables.

The chairs arrange themselves into four columns and three rows. In front of each, a large study desk appears. Normally he makes furniture out of ivory, but it seems like the Chelaxian style is black and red — all of them wearing robes mostly having these colors. So, he instead uses deep red precious coral to make the tables.

He makes them big, with indents for inkwells and a shelf at the bottom to store books. On the front is the student's name in curling Taldane script, the tables arranged alphabetically with Alfons in the top left corner from his perspective, and Zefir at the bottom right. He adjusts the height and size of the chairs and tables so that they fit the proportions of the students. The table legs are shaped so as to look like humanoid figures propping up the table with their own head and palms.

The chairs have their mother-of-pearl be removed, and they are changed to red coral as well.

He'll also change the wall, floor, and ceiling materials, turning them into polished black shell. At the front is a 'blackboard' of white skin containing chromatophores. At the top right, he has the date appear in black. In red, he has "Derek Bloodsinger's Fleshlore Class" appear, with the names of the students arranged in a grid mirroring the seat placements.

Forming furniture takes several minutes or more for him, but he formed the tables and blackboard while the students were introducing themselves. It wouldn't do to have it take too long!

Okay, she gets why they decided to hire a twenty-five year old who doesn't know how spellcasting works as a teacher. If such a thing could be learned...

His instinct upon seeing anything new and magical is to cast, "Detect Magic."

"Oh, I didn't catch what you were saying."

He probably should not be casting when it's not explicitly authorized.

"I was casting Detect Magic, Bloodsinger."

"Oooh! Tell me what you see."

There is no aura to be found.

Huh???????? What is he supposed to say??????? Is Derek hiding the aura of his spell? Is he supposed to break through that protection?

For lack of a better response, he just says, "Nothing, Bloodsinger. I cannot detect any magic."

"Well, that accords with my expectations." Derek is not upset. He has always thought of Carnation as something very visceral and nonmetaphysical. Not magic, but simply highly exotic biology.

"Anyway, please sit at your assigned seats! If I misspelled any of your names, please tell me."

He seems to have gotten them all correct, because no one says anything. They move to their seats and sit.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot to get you all writing materials too. Give me a few minutes, alright?"

He'll create a well beside the inkwell indentation and fill it with sepia ink, and then add a growth that adds more when it gets depleted, plus a cover. He creates a couple of dip pens made of shell with spiral grooves, shaped and sized for the students' hands. Then, in the shelf beneath, he creates a quire of vellum.

"Alright. Feel free to use these at your leisure. Don't worry about damaging anything or using things up, since I can just repair them or make more. And it's fine if you prefer to use your own materials."

Why is the teacher being this nice accommodating? She is just a first-circle wizard and she cannot fathom why she is being given? Assigned? the products of these conjuration spells...well, not conjuration, since Alfons said there was no aura, but maybe Alfons doesn't know how to cast Detect Magic properly or interpret its results. How you survive Ostenso Academy like that, she has no idea.

How much would a table like this cost, on the open market...?

She is not going to get her hopes up because she knows the other shoe will drop. It always does.

"My typically planned class structure for all of you will have theory in the morning from 10am to 11:30am, then lunch for an hour, then labs or practicals in the afternoon from 12:30pm to 3:30pm. 

We will have class from Moonday to Fireday. There is no class on Starday and Sunday, though I may organize optional activities on Starday.

I've been given an office, and I'll have a sign outside of it which will tell you whether or not I'm free. You can drop by to ask me questions if I am. Alternatively, you can write questions and put them in the mailbox also outside my room, and then I'll write my answer on it and get back to you...oh, I should set up fingerprint-lock shelves for you all. I'll do that later. I only sleep a few hours every other night, so I have quite a bit of free time.

I will be scoring people and organizing examinations weekly, on Firedays. On odd weeks, the examinations will be practice only. They won't count towards your score, but I'll mark and give feedback on them so you can improve. On even weeks, they will. I may organize additional examinations or ways to earn or lose points outside of that, but that will be the main place.

The top scoring students will receive prizes. Most likely, I'll award youth, beauty, restoration, or parures and raiments. Or a combination of the aforementioned.

The bottom scoring students...I have been told that it is customary for Chelish schools to have the bottom scoring students be whipped by the top scoring ones. I don't know if I'll do that, but I should probably arrange for some sort of unpleasant thing to happen to them, because it's Chelish custom. Where I was born, we did not do any such thing and I was very unmotivated in school and did mediocre. I wouldn't want any of my students to do mediocre. I would feel so ashamed. I might make it an objective metric based thing rather than a rank based thing.

Maybe I can have them undergo one of the painless tortures I've been working on? Er, to be clear, I am mostly going to be teaching painful tortures to all of you, but my current interests have to do with painless tortures."

The names of the students move from the middle of the board to alphabetical order on the side of the board, with the heading of "SCORES" at the top. Everyone is listed with a score of 0 at the moment.

That's only twenty-two and a half hours of class time a week. Is that really sufficient? No one asks this kitbag question.

What do beauty, youth, and restoration entail.

They are used to Starday class and are confused why it isn't an official class day. Especially given how there may be """"""""""optional"""""""""" activities. Which are probably where the bonus points are going to be from.

Also, what is a painless torture??????????? How is it torture if it's painless?????????????? No one asks this question either.

Derek has the capacity to sense the body of animals down to the level of proteins, but only if he has his tendrils in them. Skilled as he might be at reading others on Earth, he cannot defeat the bluff of Chelish people with skill ranks.

He is not going to be able to answer their internal questions!

"Is that everything? That's everything, right? Am I forgetting something?" He looks at Conrad and Damian, still standing at the corner of the room.

"I think that's everything."

"I should say before we start that it's a truism in biology that 'the answer in biology is always yes'. That is to say, for any categorical you might have, there almost always is something which breaks that rule. For example, birds can fly, except for all the birds which are flightless." The blackboard shows a drawing of a penguin.

"Fish cannot breathe air, except for all of the fish that can." The penguin turns into a lungfish.

"I'm here to teach you the generalities of things and phrase things as rules, but you should always keep this in mind.

And that, since there is a lot of stuff to cover, that I will be teaching a lot of what you might call lies to children. Not lie lies, but like, oversimplifications which aren't perfectly precise or accurate but which are generally good enough in most situations. In my world, these topics would be covered over four years or more, not four months. So we are really on an accelerated schedule, here. I might increase class time for this reason...but I don't want to overtax you all."

The exams are probably going to consist of figuring out where the teacher was lying and where they were telling the truth.

She will diligently take notes.

"The smallest unit of life is the cell. It's the smallest thing that could be considered to be alive...okay, I keep wanting to interject because there are edge cases, but I already forewarned you of that and it would be too distracting to keep going. So...I'm just going to try to refrain from doing that and then only say so if it's important in that situation, or if you explicitly ask.

And as a tangent to that tangent: I am never going to punish you for asking questions. I may refrain to answer, or brush it off or delay it, but I'm not going to...well I'm not going to say I'm not going to get mad at you for doing it, because I don't have control over my emotions, but I'm not going to take...adverse action against you for doing it. I don't want to disincentivize behavior I like."

They are going to interpret that statement as being of biology in that it has exceptions and is not an absolute truth.