Out tumbles a uniformed young man.

This is probably all really normal if you don't have a concussion. Kyeo's concussed plan for how to cope with this situation is: lie there on the street.

The kid runs away!

The cop removes a Pokeball from his belt and lets it fall to the ground,

releasing his partner.

Looking concerned, Frank and his partner Pokemon approach the young man and Frank bends down closer to him to ask "are you okay?"

"I don't speak that, I think," Kyeo groans.

Frank doesn't recognize the language. He opens up his phone's machine translation app, and directs Kellim to establish a telepathic link.

Are you okay?

"Not very?"

Not very, Kellim relays to Frank.

(His phone doesn't think those are real words in any language. Score for telepathy.)

She also sends a series of images of her own accord—Frank's own memory of getting a concussion playing football in high school, a Slowbro using Heal Pulse, the Pokemon Center down the street and around the corner, herself picking up Kyeo and carrying him.

(Kellim is more competent with human language than most Pokemon, with the exception of the Rotom in those new Rotom Phones, but it's still not natural to her. Fortunately, Frank does well at understanding her own preferred forms of psychic communication.)

"My partner Pokemon here thinks you're concussed. Can she pick you up so we can get you to a healer?"

(Kellim relays this, and all subsequent verbal communications by Frank or Kyeo.)

"...sure." He's definitely hallucinating but that's par for the concussion course. The gist sounds right.

Kellim scoops Kyeo up in her tentacles and carries him to the Pokemon Center, Frank walking beside.

Frank and Kellim walk through the automatic doors and Frank calls out to the nurse on duty.

"Hey, nurse! Got a concussed man here, can we have a Heal Pulse?"

"On it!"

The woman tosses a ball down next to her and a pink thing emerges.

"Bliss bliss!" says the pink thing, and it directs a wave of healing energy at Kyeo (and Kellim, on whom it's wasted due to her full health).

Kyeo's head hurts a lot less!

He's still hallucinating!

"...My head hurts a lot less but I'm still hallucinating."

"I bet you're seeing weird stuff, but I don't think you're hallucinating. I've seen that thing you came out of on the Internet, it's called a dimensional portal. They've had them overseas. If I'm right, it means you traveled universes. What are you seeing that's, uh, outside context?"

(Frank's phone still thinks Kyeo isn't speaking any known language.)

"The, uh, thing holding me, and the pink thing."

"Kellim and the Blissey? —holy crap, are you from a universe that doesn't have Pokemon? Do you recognize the word 'Pokemon'?"

"Can you guys sit down? I have other patients waiting in line behind you."

"My bad," says Frank, and navigates his way to a bench, on which Kellim sets Kyeo beside him.

Kyeo sits. "I do not recognize the word or the... telepathy...? 'Pokémon'."

How to explain Pokemon to an alien...

"They're, um, life besides humans or plants? They have magic powers, varying personalities or levels of intelligence, they tend to love to fight. —Nonlethally, within limits, but it's how they grow stronger."

"...animals?" says Kyeo, but not very hopefully.

"Unfamiliar. Kind of like Pokemon, but different connotations?"

"They are non-plant non-human life. Though, uh, humans are related to them."

"Pokemon are... generally held to be related to us, I think? Except the ones from other planets."

"...so possibly they are just the word for animals? Though, uh. If I am not hallucinating then I do not understand how the healing or the telepathy work."

"Pokemon powers are poorly understood. They can do many things our technology yet can't. A professor could explain the healing or telepathy in slightly more detail, but to those of us who haven't taken the college course they might as well be 'magic'."

"...magic animals. I... see."

"I'm sure it's weird if you didn't grow up with it! I can't imagine what life would be like without them. Didn't even think of it as a possibility until I met you."

"There aren't even very many non-magical animals on my planet."

"I'd be fascinated to hear about how things work on your planet! If you have civilization without Pokemon, you must have all kinds of technology we don't.

—but, um, probably a higher priority is to make sure you have everything you need? You can stay in a room here in the Pokemon Center for two weeks; I could get one next to you for a few days so I can hang around with Kellim while you teach the machine translation programs your language."

"...will two weeks be enough for your software?"

"I think it'll be more than enough! Especially if we can get you a computer with a psychic interface so you can talk into it and have Kellim transmit the meanings of words at the same time. And when your time is up in the Pokemon Center, there are charities and government programs that can get you an apartment to stay in."

"I appreciate that, though of course I'm capable of working and will want to spend only as long as necessary as a burden on society."

"Don't worry about it too much! The housing programs here in Unova aren't strained at all, and no one would blame you for taking your time to adjust after being dropped here from an entirely different universe."

"That's good to hear. Uh... I imagine if there were any prospect of getting me home instead, you'd have mentioned before now."

"I'm sorry. The portal closed after dumping you, and we can't yet open arbitrary portals at will, or locate your home dimension without an existing portal to work from. There are researchers working on the problem, but...if I were you, I would proceed under the assumption of being stuck here for at least a few years."

"I understand. So... besides healing magic and telepathy what do Pokémon do that makes it so hard to imagine not having them?"

"They work in almost every industry! There are the types like Timburr and Machamp that are essential in logistics and construction because they're physically stronger than humans. There are the Water-types that can provide people clean water in almost any circumstances. Fire- and Electric-types are a key source of energy for the power grid. Transportation is a big thing—so much more of the world is accessible when you have a Pokemon with you that can fly or dive or climb over rocks. They're the great equalizer—the biggest strongest guys can't walk around confident in their ability to beat on everyone else when anyone can befriend a Pokemon.

But most of all, I think, because it would be lonely. It...doesn't sound like you relate to your 'animals' the way we do to our Pokemon. The hardest thing to imagine is just...living without their presence in my life."

"Don't you... talk to other humans?"

"Well, sure, but—I read a story once about a world where there are no children. People would appear fully formed as adults, already knowing how to talk and do math and command Pokemon and so on. 

The author thought that would be an obviously better world, because kids are smaller and more ignorant than adults and that leaves them vulnerable to being pushed around and taken advantage of. But it seems to me that a world is also missing out on something, compared to ours, if it has...fewer ways of being a person."

"The magical animals are people?"

"It's complicated. Some say 'Pokemon are people' and by that they mean 'Pokeballs are slavery, Trainer-Pokemon bonds are sick and wrong, they'd all be better off back in the wild', and I don't agree with that.

They're thinking, feeling, decision-making entities. Hard to communicate with, hard to do right by, but conscious beings anyway. That's how I see it, and more or less how most people do.

Some of them can learn human language—Zoroark, Rotom, lots of Psychic-types—and when they do, they report having interactions with other Pokemon that rival the depth and complexity of those they have with humans."

"...Psychic types?"

"Types are a classification scheme for the techniques Pokemon use on each other in combat—they like to fight, it's one of the most overwhelming behavioral similarities across species. I think the underlying thing is that they like to win, really, and fighting is the most readily available form of competition.

Anyway, Pokemon themselves are said to have one or two types, based on which techniques they can use most effectively."

So the biosphere here is full of - at least occasionally intelligent - hypercompetitive magical animals, which also have uses in industry and, apparently, translation.

"Okay. How shall I teach Ibyabekan to the translation software?"

"Let me get our rooms! Then you can talk into a computer while Kellim supplies meanings to the psychic interface."

Frank walks away and briefly chats to a bureaucrat at a desk beside the nurse, then returns holding a plastic card and a USB stick out for Kyeo to take.

"This is your room key, you tap it on the door to open it, and this is the psychic interface, you plug it into the laptop in your room so Kellim can talk to it."

Fancy. Kyeo nods, taps and plugs as instructed, and starts up the computer.

"You could start by reciting a text you have memorized, maybe a song or poem. Once it has a little to work with it can try to learn more vocabulary by showing you pictures and having you name them, and grammar by providing example sentences and having you mark them as grammatical or not.

Mind if I step out for a bit while you and Kellim work on this and make sure my schedule is freed up? My boss should be cool with a last-minute PTO request on the grounds of 'something really weird but not strictly policing-related came up and Kellim's unusual skill as a psychic bridge is needed', it's happened before, but my boyfriend will probably want some additional explanation of what's going on."

"Your - ah - I think that should be fine," the magic animals seem tame.

He can recite the Anthem of the Bright Way without choking on it if he doesn't try to be rhythmic or tuneful.

Frank hovers as Kyeo recites the song, then moves to go.

"See you in a bit, um—crap, I never introduced myself, how rude of me. I'm Frank. Frank Jones. What's your name?"

"Kyeo Sebe Luk."

"See you in a bit, Kyeo."

Frank steps out. He's gone for about an hour; in that time, the machine translation program is able to get up to the level of a rudimentary phrasebook, sufficient for simple transactions and conveying that one doesn't speak the local language.

Frank knocks on the door as he returns.

"Come in?"

Frank enters holding a phone. It's a different one from the one he had earlier.

"Got you one of my old phones to borrow until you have your own! It's pretty crappy but it can run the machine translation program, and it's got a prepaid card with a few hours of calls left on it. I can also get you a government ID made if I know your age, apparently being spat out here by a portal counts the same as being born here, for citizenship."

Oh he'd been so optimistic with the free room and whatnot that this was a civilized place. Prepaid. "Thank you. How long are your years?"

"A year is three hundred sixty-five days and a day is twenty-four hours and an hour is sixty minutes and a minute is sixty seconds and a second is—"

Frank inhales.

"One, one thousand," he barks rapidly.

"Well, that's... as far as I can recall identical to Earth Standard, so I'm - maybe twenty-one soon or recently but probably twenty."

"Twenty-one is the age to drink alcohol here, if that influences what you want me to report."

"Alcohol is a vice."

"A common opinion! So's the opinion that it's one of the great joys of life, though, so I figured I'd give you all the information. I'll give them a birthdate that has you at twenty, turning twenty-one soon."

"Thank you."

"No problem! Anything else I can help you with today, or should I leave you to your machine training? Dinner is served at the Pokemon Center around 6 PM—that's about two hours from now—and they'll ring a bell to call you down for it."

"Once this software is more fully trained how will I load it onto the phone?"

"Oh, just make an account. It's the little button on the top left, looks like a cartoon person. Then everything you do on the laptop will be backed up to some data center somewhere, and then when you log into your account on your phone it can be downloaded."

"I see. - how are you spelling my name in this alphabet?"

"K-y-e-o."

Account account. "My first name will suffice here?"

"Yeah, you can make it anything! As long as you'll remember it. Or you can use the password manager, it's the app on the phone with the shield icon and it's got a little in-app tutorial."

"Maybe once I can read. It took me a long time to learn my second language, though I suppose a third might be faster."

"Fair enough! What else can I help with for now?"

"Other people who have been - portaled in - came from worlds with Pokémon, but they're new to me, what do I need to know about making sure that I am - safe, polite, etcetera -"

"For safety, the most important thing is not to leave the bounds of a city and go walking the routes until you have a Pokemon of your own. The gates of cities in Unova look like this," he shows a picture of a building on his phone, "so don't go through there without a Pokemon or a Trainer as an escort. If you wanna get to a different city without walking the routes, you can fly on a Pokemon or take a vehicle of some sort, we've got boats to Castelia and from there you can get about anywhere. Etiquette around Pokemon is...you give them the same amount of personal space you'd give a human, you've been giving me a normal amount. If you wanna pet one or give them a treat, you ask their Trainer if it's okay. Pokemon don't really mind being ignored, but if you wanna put a Trainer in a good mood and they have a Pokemon out, it doesn't hurt to ask the Pokemon's name or what it does."

"Oh! And if you're in a context where recreational Pokemon battling is a thing, like in a Gym," he shows another picture of a building on his phone, "or walking the routes, you can challenge verbally or by making eye contact."

"Wild ones don't come over the city walls?"

"Nope! They tend to stick to their areas on the routes, mostly patches of tall grass and bodies of water. If any of them do try to bust into the city, the guards at the gates keep an eye out for them with cameras and the Gym Leader—uh, the local strongest Trainer—and his guys can do something about it."

"And strength as a trainer is determined by battles? Does it change often?"

"Yeah! It doesn't change that often, maybe every five or ten years on average? Most people don't do the kind of all-out challenge it would take to assume leadership of the Gym, they don't want that responsibility."

"Oh, I see, so someone might be stronger but they would either arrange not to fight the gym leader or they'd throw it if they found themselves doing so anyway?"

"Everyone fights the Gym Leaders! It's just, like, normally you do a challenge where they match your team in strength and test your skill to certify you as a competent Trainer, you only challenge them at full strength if you want to take over the Gym."

"So the gym leaders are normally throwing matches?"

"I wouldn't call it 'throwing'? It's normal for battles to vary in how all out people are going."

"Wasn't the point that Pokémon are competitive and enjoy winning?"

"Sure, but they can still enjoy winning at different levels of intensity? Plus it's not like Gym Leaders deliberately command their Pokemon to make suboptimal tactical choices in badge challenges, I think that really would piss them off, they just have a pool of Pokemon and don't always use the strongest ones from the pool."

"Oh, I see."

doubt.jpg

Not Frank's business if he doesn't really see, though. He'll take his word for it.

"Anything else about Pokemon etiquette I can clear up? I'm sure there's stuff I'm missing, I don't think anyone's ever tried to explain our world to people who grew up without Pokemon before, but for the same reason I think people will be pretty forgiving if you tell them you're from another universe. If anything you might get some clout out of it, people think portals are cool and most haven't seen one in person."

"If it comes about that I want to acquire one how would I do that, do I... buy one?"

"There are places where you can buy them but it's not common, the usual way is a friend or family member or the local Professor or Gym Leader hooks you up with a starter Pokemon."

"There are specific starter ones?"

"Technically any Pokemon can be a starter if it's given to you to kick off your journey, but there are certain species commonly used for the role, especially if you're getting one from a professor."

"Why do professors and gym leaders hand Pokémon out?"

"It's part of raising the next generation? We all benefit if lots of people grow up knowing how to train Pokemon, since they're useful for so many jobs."

"Where do they get surplus Pokémon?"

"They catch them! Or breed them, neither is that difficult when you're an experienced Trainer."

"The Pokémon don't... mind being bred? The wild ones tame down so immediately that they can be a 'starter'? For children?"

"The skill of breeding is arranging situations where they wanna mate of their own accord! There are 'day cares' that are set up for the purpose, and Pokemon are classified into egg groups as a guide to compatible partners. Taming is a process that varies by individual and species, but a Pokemon that remains in a ball rather than breaking out almost always has sufficient respect for human society to not actively do any harm. Weak, inexperienced Pokemon will listen to orders from similarly weak and inexperienced Trainers, that's why weak and inexperienced ones are usually the ones handed out as starters."

"Egg groups? It's not by species? Is that not what 'species' means -"

"Ah, no, there are some researchers who argue that the word 'species' should be used for what we now call 'egg groups' and we should adopt a different term for Pokemon who look the same and emit the same vocalizations and use the same techniques, but it's never caught on with the general public."

"Maybe I can... edit that in to my translation software so it will... no, it will really be jarring either way."

"Um...sorry our world is like this?

...wow. Today in 'sentences I never thought I'd say'."

"It's not a big deal, please don't worry about it."

👍 "Okay!

Anyway, if you decide you want a Pokemon, the quickest way to get one here in Driftveil would be to talk to Clay, that's the local Gym Leader. If you don't like his selection, the next thing to try would be calling in one of the professors or their assistants."

"...what might there be not to like?"

"People often prefer species they find cuter. It's also common to want one that matches your preferences for physical environment? Like, if you enjoy swimming, you might specialize in Water-types so they can join you in the water."

"Oh. I am not particularly interested in swimming, I'm accustomed to living on a spaceship."

"On a fucking what."

Frank clears his throat.

"Sorry, um, what I mean to say is, you mean an actual interplanetary vessel, not an orbital space station?"

"Yes, I was a star cadet. We had to defend the border against another planet in our system."

"Another planet also inhabited by humans‽"

"One of many."

"Um. For context. The furthest we've been is the Moon, and until now we weren't aware of any dimensions where people have gone further. I think you could make a lot of money talking to researchers, if you know anything of how your technology works.

How long has it been since, um, I don't even know what milestone to use. Since people in your world first split the atom?"

Money rears its head again. "I don't know how to build a ship, nor exactly how old nuclear fission is though I guess I wouldn't be off by more than a couple hundred years."

Frank whistles.

"It's been a little under a hundred years since we first split the atom. Less than that since the first moon landing and first personal computers. Even, like, the simplified lies-to-children explanation of your ships might tip our physicists off to which of their grand theories is correct, or there could be trace substances in your blood that inspire our chemists to create something cool—but you can think about whether to share stuff like that later, when you're more settled. You don't owe us anything just cause the portal spat you out here."

"...If you say so."

"—sorry, I keep getting distracted. What else do you want to know about Pokemon?"

"How hard is it to take care of and train them?"

"Depends on the species and individual! The ones given out as starters are selected for easygoing personalities, they'll be fine emotionally as long as you don't actively abuse them. The Pokedex—that's an encylopedia of Pokemon, it used to have its own dedicated device but more and more phone brands are adding apps for it—has info on average food rations and daily time out of the ball that each species needs. Food for them is cheap, I'd say about a tenth the cost per day of feeding an adult human, unless you're springing for the really fancy stuff. Physical affection helps for building a bond and bringing out their full power, a good rule of thumb is at least five or ten minutes a day plus a minute after each battle. If you can't keep up with your Pokemon's needs—usually that's because you've acquired too many—you can put them in...people call it 'virtual reality' but it's really more of an extended space, like a giant shared Pokeball. It takes care of their food, space, and socialization needs intelligently and for free.

Training them—well, teaching commands is easy, only a few hours of effort for each one. Even the more, uh, intellectually challenged species have a good memory for them. The one part that people have trouble with sometimes is getting them to respect you enough to obey your judgment in battle. To avoid problems with that, stick to using ones you've caught yourself or that started out weak and grew with you."

"Is the - virtual reality - related to the thing where the pink one appeared out of nowhere? I was assuming that was a separate magical ability that one had."

"Nah, extended spaces are a human technology! We modeled them off this fruit called an Apricorn, it has space-warping properties. The most common one is a Pokeball," he says as he grabs one off his belt to hold up.

"We don't have that. Nor as far as I know Apricorns. Should I be confident that the - biosphere - here - is safe enough that the food will agree with me -"

"Hmmmmmmmm. Kellim thinks you're our kind of human, based on your nervous system, and the Heal Pulse worked on you. I'm not sure what else we could do to check, except maybe a genetic test?"

"Would that be fast enough that I could make it confidently to dinner or no?"

"Normally I'd say no because of all the bureaucracy you'd have to jump through, but I know someone who might know someone, you mind if I make a quick call?"

"Not at all."

Frank pulls out his phone.

"Hey, Jada."

Frank pauses briefly as the other person talks.

"Yes, I know you're at work, this is important. Is Dr. Waters still testing that ultra-rapid sequencing thing?"

Even shorter pause.

"If, hypothetically, I met a portal victim and he wants to find out if he's really human or just looks like it, and you could score a teleport out here to get a sample, would you have anything useful to tell him by 6 PM?"

Longer pause.

"Thank you so much, I owe you infinitely, love you!"

Frank hangs up and addresses Kyeo.

"Yeah, I think we can get it done in time, if not I'll buy you dinner for tonight. That was my sister, Jada, she's a nurse at the hospital—not the Pokemon Center, the human hospital in Castelia."

"You still have human hospitals even though humans can be treated here by magic? - you have teleportation?"

"Pokemon moves can handle minor injuries, and most viral or bacterial infections if you catch them in time, but there's stuff that's beyond them—broken bones, missing limbs, genetic disorders, cancer. Long-distance teleportation is a Pokemon technique and a rare one at that, the technological kind of teleportation gets prohibitively expensive when you try to go much longer than a football field."

"We don't have the technological kind either. Perhaps it was derived from the magical sort?"

"It was an offshoot of Apricorn research, I think. To be fair, Apricorns are also basically magic if you don't have the relevant kind of physics degree."

There's a knock at the door!

"Come in."

"Hi portal guy! I'm Jada, what's your name?"

"I'm Kyeo Sebe Luk."

"Nice to meet you! So, do you want the blood draw or the cheek swab?"

Before Kyeo can answer, Jada's phone buzzes.

"Wait, holy crap, the hospital is offering you a million Pokedollars if you get both and let them do additional testing to publish in research papers! It'd be anonymized, of course."

"That's about four months' rent here in Driftveil," Frank says to Kyeo.

"Less than two months in Castelia," Jada grumbles.

"You made your choices."

"I... am not accustomed to money. My planet has moved beyond the need for it. So I'm not sure how to respond to that."

"Thundurus's balls, how did you guys manage that?"

"Frank, focus. And language. Kyeo, how about I go ahead and get both, you think about it while we do the genetic test, let the doctor know what you've decided when she gets back to you with the results, and if you don't wanna let us keep your samples we'll throw them out?"

"...all right."

Jada efficiently collects the samples. The blood draw is nearly painless.

"The doctor will video call you with your test results in about an hour. Assuming you are indeed a normal human, mind if I come back at that time to make sure you're up to date on your vaccinations?"

"Please. I must assume this planet has completely different diseases from mine."

"It probably does! Did you have the Blissey or Slowbro or whatever they have here hit you with a Heal Pulse? That should minimize your odds of passing any of yours to us."

"I believe that's what repaired my concussion, yes."

"Oh! Yikes, glad you got that taken care of. If I were you I wouldn't have sex or risk blood contact with anyone until you can get more extensive testing, there are a few pathogens that can survive a Heal Pulse but they're all either bloodborne, sexually transmitted, or both."

"All right."