"Who's there?"

'Ancorabenilisifentiliane.'

"Ancora - beli - ben - et cetera, who.  - Nevermind, come on in, Ancora."  She opens the door.

They do that, and teleport the end table in beside them.

"So what's up?"

'I failed to understand several things about what you just said.'

" - Yeah, sorry; I should've skipped that.  It was just - an attempted reference to a pretty common type of joke.  Not anything important."

'You did not intend me harm?'

" - Definitely not!  Yikes.  Uh, are you okay?"

'I still do not know how one evaluates that.  I am in very slightly worse condition than before.'

"Gosh, okay.  Uh, what specifically was it, so I can avoid it going forward . . ."

'You do not sustain damage from having your name mispronounced?'

"Not . . . except abstractly.  Sort of.  Sometimes people do it to be mean but they can do that with lots of things, you know?  It's not - special, to humans.  In a way that hurts.  I'm sorry."

"I see.'

"Should - is the three-syllable version we've been using also bad, or is it just that I tried to keep going and messed it up."

'Referring to me as 'Ancora' is neutral.'

"Awesome.  So what brings you up here?"

'I would like you to tell me of what happened when you sent me to retrieve your cat, that I may better understand human deception.'

". . . Sure.  Uh, lemme think about where to start.  Do you want to sit down?"  She gestures to the room's chair and seats herself on the bed.

They apparently do.

"So, my introduction to vampires was . . . not great.  I don't really want to get into it, but - it didn't involve someone thinking I was cool and wanting to share magic with me; she - something went wrong with her, because of the magic, and she went kind of all animalistic and attacked me and I - admittedly would have probably died without her healing me after, which I guess was a positive for the magic system but it didn't really rate next to everything else.  There's video of it; you can ask Cam."

"So from my perspective, there was this threat unknown to humanity, and the best way to get leverage against that was to become a vampire myself, so I made some arrangements with Sara - the girl who attacked me - and here we are.  Then you teleported in the middle of my living room, which, again, appearing in people's spaces is really scary and threatening, and it's a lot more so when you don't know them at all, and even more so when you're - not human.  And then uh, I assume you tried to communicate but it kind of just felt like static, and it was really unpleasant, and then you teleported us to Milliways without any warning."

'I apologize.  I did not perceive myself to be communicating any differently than I am presently.'

"Yeah, I know.  It's okay.  Just probably next time you leave Milliways you should make sure you have somebody humanish with you."

'I had suggested that Cam accompany me but he was unwilling to risk becoming trapped in another universe while there are still Elves unressurected.  Even so, I did not anticipate this magnitude of negative consequences from such a short time spent on Earth.'

"Yeesh.  Yeah, that's fair.  Uh, there's me now, though, so probably we can just sidestep most possible issues as long as I tag along whenever you go off galavanting."

'I have no plans to do so.'

"Rad.  Uh, so, if I say that everything about that made me expect deception does that make sense to you or should I delve in a little more."

'I expect delving to be much more likely to help than harm.'

"Yeah probably.  I guess the most important thing here is that I was expecting you to be hostile, and for - humanishes - hostile people are really likely to be lying.  I dunno if your sort has less conflict or is just more upfront about it."

'Conflict is limited among my species by several factors but I have experienced a share of it.  I would classify it as fairly overt.'

- several factors -

"Uh Ancora just checking have you affection-altered yourself in my direction at all?"  Her voice is high and strained by the end of the question.

'I have not.'

"Okay awesome!  Just checking."

'This possibility upset you greatly.'

"Yeah.  That's a me thing; I don't think other people care quite as much.  Probably still be really careful with it though.  And obviously more careful with the other direction; probably just don't ever do that one at all, honestly."

'I was unaware of even that possibility until recently and was horrified when I discovered it.'

"I know.  Just - delving.

'I have not yet come across a person not of my species who it would make sense to like more than I naturally do, even were I lacking in morality.'

"That follows.  How much do you like everyone else you've met, if you don't mind me asking?"

'Cam has been immeasurably useful and I hold deep affection for him.  I have not spoken much with Bar but I like her as well. You frightened me and are a distressing reminder of my greatest failures, though not in a way which translates to dislike per se.  My six initial humans had a traitor among them and all worked to mislead me about important moral facts but I love them still.'

. . . She should not 'oh honey' the terrifyingly adorable vampire alien.

"So you like pretty much everyone, then?"

'I have not met a member of my own species whose presence I unaidedly enjoyed.'

"How long were you in your world, before you came to Earth?"

'Artists have not as a species invented timekeeping.'

"Oh.  Do you have a guess?"

They consider this.

'No.'

"Hm."  Judy scritches her cat.  "Do you think you've met more artists or humanishes?"

'Artists, with certainty.

Why do you ask this.'

"Well, if you'd only met a few of them it could have been a coincidence that you didn't like any."

'I met between tens of and ten thousand artists, most likely some hundreds.'

"But you still don't have a guess for how long you were there??"

'Why does this bear repetition.'

"Since you just gave a really - wide, I guess - answer to that question.  It's surprising that you don't have one like that for how long you were there, even if it's not really precise."

'I see.

Most likely between a week and ten thousand years.'

Judy stifles a sporfle.  "- Does time work differently in the artist realm or something?"

'I do not know it to.'