Whatevereth principle of the Vile Scribe: It Must be Current. No one cares how clever your comment is, if the conversation moved on. 

One patron of the cafe is an ordinary pamphlet seller, chatting with the radicals. Totally not the Vile Scribe. Of his merchandise, only one of his many pamphlets is the most recent work of that Vile Scribe. No point selling it earlier, the trial was the main event so no one cares about the ports being closed. But maybe it'll sell now.

Of course, he's not really here to sell. The main event is fresh convention gossip. He wants to hear what's happening and see if he can get a response on the streets by the dinnertime, instead of next morning. 

The cafe patrons recognize a familiar face. The annoying but funny political arguments guy who keeps changing opinions. Wasn't he being chased by the street crusade last time we saw him? Someone ask how the kid is doing.

The Vile Scribe is not to be called 'the kid'!  Look at the almost-facial-hair.

Psh, not gonna let something like that stop a pamphlet seller. Doing okay, that wasn't be the first time and won't be the last. The free pen has haters, but they can't stop the presses.

"THEY'RE BANNING PAMPHLETS!" a man yells, running from the convention center. 

Calming down and explaining the censorship bill that just passed.

Asking some detailed questions about what exactly is banned. 

Right now, this isn't a decree, just something the convention recommends to the queen. So nothing is banned. If the queen accepts the recommendation, it might be decree'd. If that happens, bans all printing unless approved and arcane marked by a publishing house with a 6,000 coin bond. Or approved by one of these lawful countries. Or if it's a boring apolitical cookbook. It hits copying and distribution. Hand out a pamphlet without a good mark, there's fines and the pamphlet police puts you away for pen crimes. 

"Sorry kid, looks like you have to get a real job."

The Vile Scribe is not to be called 'the kid'!  Look at the almost-facial-hair.

Calamity! Thus ends the Vile Scribe. Unless there's something here. Something to be done.

"Damn, kid, you look devastated. Having a real job isn't that bad. There's other things to sell."

Whatevereth principle of the Vile Scribe: There is a line, get as close as you can without crossing it. Don't be safe, safe is boring. Don't get yourself beheaded, unless you personally possess fell hydrasome means. 

The statute bans copying and distributing pamphlets without a publisher mark. It doesn't ban writing them. More importantly, there's no retroactive crime. So, until and unless  a decree goes out, there's a window where it's still legal to write and copy and distribute. Enough time for one last batch of pamphlets, circulating in private and read in small groups. One last hurrah for freedom of the pen, before the death of the Vile Scribe. 

Does that hold up? Does he really think no one will ever read one of his pamphlets in a public house ever, once it becomes illegal? Can they read his thoughts and take him in for having done an action which was intended to cause other actions that in the future would be crimes?

His sorcery has been growing ever since he started pamphleteering. If they bring time wizardry against him, he will counter it with his own.

That doesn't actually make sense. But the case is ambiguous. Which is the best place for a Vile Scribe. Let's do this.

Quiet prayers to Shelyn for inspiration, to Milani for thorns bleeding the powerful, and to Cayden for foolish bravery. Then a prayer his brother said to say before doing anything that might get in trouble with the law. Hey Norgorber. Hey. Watch this. 

Never ask for help, he said. That one prayer, that's the only one worth a damn to him. For a moment, the Vile Scribe wonders what happened to–

poke "You okay? Say something, stop just staring blankly."

"Behold, the Vile Scribe Revealed."

???

Explanation that he has been the Vile Scribe this whole time, just pretending to be a pamphlet seller. Well, no pretending, he did in fact sell the pamphlets. You know what I mean.

"That checks out. But how do you find anyone to copy the things?"

"The Vile Scribe would never reveal such a secret. But today, today in the waning hours before the free pen is crushed under the boot of the state, you will find the copyists."

He asks to borrow a soapbox to stand on for speechifying.

"Yes, you. You and you, and you. You too. I am pointing at specific people, to avoid the trap of crowd non-action. But you are not pointed at arbitrarily, you people who I know to be friends of the revolution, filled with bravery and will. Who, during our cafe sparring, I have provoked multiple times into defending the right to the press and free expression, even for the worst yet somehow funniest of scribes. We have some time before this proposal becomes a decree, time in which copying and distribution remains legal. Hold to the ideals you spoke out in favor of."

"I can see what you are thinking right now, having taken a side in a political argument does not hold one to aid a random scribe in rushing to publish. Especially when the legality is perhaps dubious. That is true, but betray the cause now and I will scourge your hypocrisy in my next pamphlets and depict you as Simplicio. What is this you say, I cannot do that because there will be no next pamphlets? Very well then, I will offer rewards. Firstly, behold the ill gotten coins of my vile scribing. Second, I will grant you the rarest of my treasures and secrets. A single sincerely held and plainly stated political opinion."

A few of them go along with this. Here is a very impromptu desk, made from that very same soapbox. The first paper-and-ink urchin runs off with the coins and does not return with extra sheets of paper and ink. The second pockets a third of the coin but does. In the meantime, first drafts are what the backs of random other papers are for. The coffee cart guy is keeping the cups filled, fresh and hot. A small crowd has gathered around, with several volunteers ready to run off to the most pliable copyists they know as soon as a pamphlet is ready. 

The Pharoj is Confused

Pharojio: I am Pharojio, the Pharoj of Osirion. I rule the Kingdom of Abadar with Reasonable Law.

Scrivulus: I am Scrivulus, a humble scribe. I wish to publish but have been afflicted by Confusing Laws.

Pharojio: I hold court in my prosperous Kingdom, all must bow before me. Approach, petitioner.

Scrivulus: I am a humble scribe from Far Avistan. I bow before you and ask you to approve of my Pamphlets.

Pharojio: What would Far Avistan have to say in my Kingdom? 

Scrivulus: O great Pharoj, these are not for your kingdom, they are to be published in my home in Far Avistan.

Pharoj: I am a great Pharoj but I rule over Osirion, the Kingdom of Abadar. Only the Cyprian of Galt claims rulership over the whole of Avistan. Unlike him, I only fight Lawful and Just wars. So I have not conquered Far Avistan and brought my Reasonable Laws there.

Scrivulus: I have spent weeks at sea, for I must find a Wise and Just ruler to approve my Pamphlets. Pharoj most humbly do I beg you. Approve them.

Pharoj: I am Most Wise and Most Just and Most Flattered. Present your pamphlets to be judged.

Scrivulus: Behold my first Pamphlet. I wish to suggest that Codfish, the Paladin King of Andoran, marries the Pirate Queen of the Shackles. They both share Common Interests and should make Alliance.

Pharoj: The Wise and Just laws of Osiron condemn Piracy but celebrate Marriage. I would hope that Marriage to a Lawful Paladin would restrain the Pirate Queen. But I cannot say I know either of their characters.

Scrivulus: Behold my second Pamphlet. I wish to accuse the Empress of Taldor of a Scandalous Affair with the Geryon of Stygia. 

Pharoj: The Wise and Just laws of Osirion say it is right for the affairs of women to be of concern to the public. A woman must have a Lawful Husband not a Lying Geryon. But I cannot say if this rumor is true. 

Scrivulus: Behold my third Pamphlet. I suggest that the Vampyres of Geb replace the Skeleton of Geb with one of their own. It is better to be ruled by Vampyre because they have Flesh and Blood while a Skeleton lacks both.

Pharoj The Wise and Just laws of Osirion are fair to both Good and Evil. Both Skeleton and Vampire may live in the Kingdom of Abadar, so long as they pay rent on time. But I cannot say which rules best.

Scrivulus: Three pamphlets before you, o great Pharoj. Choose which are Lawful to publish.

Pharoj: I cannot say! I cannot say! I cannot say! These are not matters of my kingdom, why do you confuse me?

Scrivulus: Why have I come so far from home, to hear that you cannot say? You are Wise and Just, how are you unsure?

Pharoj: I am sure there is another ruler whose job it is to do this.

One of them has scriveners chant. Six copies to six conspirators, all conspiring to commit entirely legal publishing and distributing. Each takes a copy and a handful of coins, and heads towards a different copyist.

"Remember the most important part. As soon as the decree hits the walls, stop. You only have one head! I only have one head! Get them out then get back here for more, but if you see a decree then get you gone."

"more coffee"

more coffee

All Men are Free?

Galtonius: I am Galtonius, the Great Wizard of Galt who believes in Voting and Rights. I would be a more subtle and less dangerous allegory if there was time for a second draft.

Sortitio: I am Sortitio, a Common Farmer conjured by Spells and forced to participate in Politics. I would have a better name if there was time for a second draft.

Galtonius: Behold, Simple Peasants, I give to you Rights, to protect you from the Crown. Every man should be Free. It is Evil for any Tyrant to force his Will on others just because he is more powerful. You should be free to do what you Will. For this I summon you to an Assembly to vote on what Rights to have.

Sortitio: We can vote for any Rights we want? To be free to do as we Will?

Galtionus: Yes, any Right.

Sortitio: We vote for the Right to Leave this Assembly.

Galtonius: No, not that one.

Sortitio: We vote to Abolish Slavery?

Galtonius: You have voted Correctly. It is Evil for any man to be Kidnapped from his Home and forced to Labor. Every man should have the Right to choose who he Labors for, and the right to abscond without being Forcibly Held by a tyrant Master.

Sortitio: Is this true?

Galtonius: Yes.

Sortitio: It is against my Will to labor in this Convention, I will instead return to my Home.

Galtonius: With my Spells do I Conjure you. 

Sortitio: Calamity! I am Conjured.

Galtonius: I did not permit you to leave. Now vote for more Rights to protect you from the Tyrant Crown. 

Sortitio: We vote that Rights should also protect us from Great Wizards.

"Don't take this one for copying until they actually vote to end slavery. Everyone knows it's going to happen but if it doesn't I'll look stupid."

"Nah, I'm doomed anyway. Copies now, ahead of the news. If I'm right I'm an oracle, if I'm wrong and look stupid, I already have a plan to flee the country. 

"Tell me, what of the workings of the convention? Where shall I next turn this pen?"

They're on lunch break, actually.

"I shall satirize lunch! No, I shall eat lunch. No time to eat lunch. I will turn my attention to the streets."

Vile Scribe remembers there's something he's still mad about, from a few days ago... can't let them get away with it.

Behold the JUstice of Mendev

Vigilantio: I am Vigilantio, a member of the Mendev Lay Inquisition, who have no authority to patrol the streets fighting enemies of Iomedae, but decided to do so anyway.

Guardati: I am Guardati, an officer of the City Watch in the country of Mendev, the most Iomedaean country unless you are counting Lastwall, the place Iomedae actually likes. 

Vigilantio: I am the most Lawful Good. The Lay Inquisition works for Iomedae and she only didn't Select any of us because she is too poor to.

Guardati: I am the most Lawful Good. The City Watch works for the Lawful Good Queen and she only has to Behead a few members each week. 

Vigilantio: I defend the city from Fearsome Foes. Behold, I throw Tiny Lawyers into the Raging River. I have saved Mendev from the Evil of Fair Trials. 

Guardati: I defend the city from Fearsome Foes. Behold, I throw Random Shelynites into Dismal Dungeons. I have saved Mendec from the Evil of Art Classes. 

Vigilantio: I obey special instructions from Iomedae and refrain from Random Murder in favor of Random Beatings.

Guardati: I obey special instructions from the Queen and return Certain Important Prisoners without Obvious Markings of attack.

Vigilantio: I have sworn an Oath of Celibacy because I hear Iomedae is into That Sort of Thing.

Guardati: I have sworn the Reverse Oath, for the sake of all Women in the city whose husbands are Conscripted to the Worldwound.

Vigilantio: I ransack homes and Donate the proceeds to the Church of Holy Iomedae.

Guardati: I ransack homes and Donate the proceeds to the Church of Holy Cayden. Hic.

Vigilanto: Your works impress me, I admit that you are the most Lawful Good.

Guardiati: Nonsense, your works are greater. I admit that your works are the most Lawful Good.

Vigilanto + Guardati: What would the city do without us?

Only two volunteers are brave enough to take this one to the copiers. The streets are still being patrolled, after all. The rest find something else to do. Howabout a supply run to another cafe to get honey for the coffee, and maybe a bite of something.

"Only if it can be eaten while scribing. Freedom of the Pen is close to an end, while Freedom of Lunch will survive to tomorrow."

"You can take a lunch break, the pamphlets will be better if you keep your edge."

"The Vile Scribe requires neither food nor sleep. Coffee. Ink. News of the convention."

They're right. He just realized that the one about sortitons leaving should have been Behold the Democracy of Nexland. He already had Arcanatri as his designated stand-in great wizard. How did he forget Arcanatri and end up using Galtonius. What if he keeps making mistakes? What if he messes up on Principles of the Vile Scribe, when he gets to that one. 

No. Galtonius was on purpose. Because it isn't about wizardry it's about democracy and radical ideas. But the next one should be on the other side of the democracy question, keep them guessing. Hopefully the convention does something soon that makes the ideals of galtan republicanism look bad. 

Principles of the Vile Scribe

This Pamphlet Officially Certified By The Seal Of The Ancient Fraternity Of Vile Scribes, that the Scribings therein be most Vile.

They can’t kill a pseudonym or an idea, but they can kill me, the person writing this. Or pamphlet jail, word on the street is you survive that but I’d rather not check. So, if I’m out of the Vile Scribing game, might as well show my hand. 

Zeroeth Principle of the Vile Scribe: Flexibility! Behold, as this pamphlet breaks every principle. The rules are guidelines, and if you’re too Lawful to get that, you’re better off being a regular scribe. 

First principle of the Vile Scribe: There are to be two characters who announce their names and identities. This makes it easy for it to be read aloud, but it also stops you getting overcomplicated. This isn’t the Taldan Opera with an ensemble and a complicated plot. Get over yourself. It’s a pamphlet! 

Second principle of the Vile Scribe. At least one part false, at least one part vile, at least one part funny. All three are important. If you want to say true, dull, and pleasant things, you’re better off being a regular scribe. 

Third principle of the Vile Scribe: Faraway and Fictional characters are often too distant to retaliate. People close enough to get you stay out of your pamphlets. Note, Great Wizards such as Geb and Nex and Razmir are not really limited by distance, but they are less likely to notice. 

Fourth principle of the Vile Scribe: You only have one head. Approach the line, to the point where people question how you are still writing. Don’t be so afraid you turn from Vile Scribe into Mild Scribe. But do not throw yourself upon any swords. 

Fifth principle of the Vile Scribe: It Must be Current. No one cares how clever your comment is, if the conversation moved on. These days, there’s ten things happening a day. The city moves fast, and so must you. 

Sixth principle of the Vile Scribe: If you take every side on the issue, you have the issue surrounded. If you have specific opinions and points, you become predictable. If they can predict what you’re going to say, they have no reason to buy your pamphlet!

Seventh principle of the Vile Scribe: Don’t overuse the Calamity gag! Yes, the first pamphlet was the best one and I’ll be downhill from there the whole rest of my career. But it had a specific point. Do not become an imitation of yourself.

So, what’s the point of all this? Why even be the Vile Scribe? 

The point is to be clever and have fun. If you’re taking it seriously all the time and don’t enjoy reveling in the vile scribing, you’re better off being a regular scribe. 

People think the first Vile Scribe was the Tian Xia one, but if you really want to get this part, find the true first one.

But it’s also this: The reader picks up a vile scribe pamphlet, reads some ridiculous lies, points at them and laughs. The reader reads those same ridiculous lies out on the world, recognizes them, points at them and laughs. 

That’s it. The pen is still free a bit longer, might be minutes or hours. That’s time I should be using on better stuff than this. Might be able to get one or two more. But in spirit, this one’s the last.

Goodbye Westcrown, hope you’ve had as much fun with this as I have. 

… you need a moment?

“No! I don’t have a moment.”

The Vile Scribe is not getting emotional here, because that would imply the Vile Scribe has ever felt anything about this except ironic detachment. Anything his eyes may be doing is explainable as a side effect of substituting coffee for sleep.

“Now get this one to the copy wizard, and see if anything new happened at the convention.”

News from the Convention.

“The maniacs! They actually tried it! Freedom of Robbery! What? How do I even pamphlet this??”

Arcanatri: But I am the one the money would be coming from.

Harloteña: Then we vote that you give up more money.

Arcanatri: Lawful Freedom of Robbery may make it legal, but to lawfully rob a Great Wizard you must also be strong enough to actually do it. 

… no that’s too wordy for a final line. It’s making a point, but the point is true and isn’t even entertaining. 

Axiomo: I am a Lawful denizen of the Axis City, summoned and made into a noble. 

Simplicio: By this point, you know who Simplicio is.

Axiomo: I propose we abolish taxes and raise our pay. 

Simplicio: With what money?

Axiomo: The money from everyone not in this room. We only abolish taxes for ourselves. 

Simplicio: Remind me, which part of Axis did you say you used to live in? 

Axiomo: Norgorberland. 

… Okay but that’s too obvious. Is there a way to make it not the constitutional convention? There’s no time so write out exposition about how it’s actually in Osirion or something. Plus any of this might be conspiracy to robbery, or proselytizing. No way they actually buy that he’s not infernal if he lives in axis. Augh.

To the printers?

“No! Can’t tell if these get us beheaded or not. I’m not going down like that head of the hydra fool, city covered in copies labeled do not copy.”

Draft torn into small pieces. Wait. Mending exists. The Vile Scribe takes the scraps of potentially illegal and eats them, in between gulps of coffee.

???

“Did you forget to prestidigitation this coffee? Tastes worse than the paper!”

A tale of Long Ago Taldor

Taldaria: I am Taldaria, the Empress of Ancient Taldor. You can tell us apart from Current Taldor by how we sometimes gain territory. I am also visually distinct from Current Taldor. Crowns have not yet been invented so on my head I wear Leaves. 

Belkzen: I am Belkzen, a Great and Terrible war lord of the Savage Orcs. My two skills are Conquering and More Conquering. I am the one who Belkenland is named after, but because this is Ancient Times, it is not named after me yet. Instead it is called Orcland.

Taldaria: Governing in my land is done a Lawful and Civilized land way. The Crown is worn by a True Empress, advised by a Senate composed of exclusively High Nobles and Reputable Gentlemen. They are Dignified and Composed as they advise the Empress.

Belkzen: Governing in Orcland is done in an Anarchic and Barbaric way. Orcs are all shoved into a Cave where they engage in Raucous Shouting and Vicious Insults. Every so often, we Behead each other using Specialized Orcish Beheading Axes.

Taldaria: The Barbaric Orcs and their Anarchic Governing sound most dreadful. I pray to Aroden, who is Still Alive because it is Ancient Times, that Orcland remains disunited and unthreatening. 

Belkzen: I, the great war lord Belkzen, have united Orcland. Every lesser war lord obeys my orders. The Raucous Shouting Cave only shouts my Will. My power in Orcland is absolute. Now it is time to turn our Specialized Orcish Beheading Axes on the whole of Avistan. 

Taldaria: O these Dreadful Tidings! Though, I must say, this Belkzen fellow sounds very Strong and Manly. 

Belkzen: I march on the Riverlands with the Great Army of Orcland. 

Taldaria: I will refrain from raising Great Army of Civilization to put down these Barbarian Hordes. That horrid Barbarian can have the Riverlands, as a gift. 

Belkzen: The Riverlands are Conquered! I drag all the High Nobles and Reputable Gentlemen to the Specialized Orcish Beheading Axe. Instead, the Riverlands are forced to use a Raucous Shouting Cave to do their Governing. 

Taldaria: O how Barbaric and Horrid are the ways of that Muscular and Chiseled Belkzen. However, I have a Brilliant Plan to spare Ancient Taldor from Conquest.

Belkzen: You will need to be quick with your Brilliant Plan, where do you think I will go as soon as I finish Conquering the Riverlands?

Taldaria: I now import the Specialized Orcish Beheading Axe and have all the High Nobles and Reputable Gentlemen of Ancient Taldor brought forth and Beheaded. I create my own Raucous Shouting Cave to govern Taldor. 

Belkzen: Do you think that Governing in the Anarchic and Barbaric way of Orcland will give you the power to raise a Great Army of Barbarians to equal my own? 

Taldaria: You misunderstand my intentions. 

Belkzen: Then why have you adopted the Anarchic and Barbaric Governing? What is your Brilliant Plan? 

Taldaria: I propose a marriage alliance!

A few of the coffee shop radicals are arguing about whether Taldor still had a senate during the rise of Belkzen. The rest have seen through that and are arguing whether it’s revolutionary or counterrevolutionary in sentiment. 

“It’s both and neither. That’s the most I’ve ever explained a pamphlet, and I’m only doing it because I need you to stop arguing and run for the copyhouses.”

They agree to finish the argument later. To the printers!

The Vile Scribe does not mention that they won’t finish the argument. This is probably the last time they’ll all pass a tract around, reading the best lines out loud and getting into arguments about it. 

Yep. By the time everyone gets back from the printing shops, the decree is pinned to the walls. Word on the street is, they’re banning slander and implications next.

“Implications? They’re banning those? Oh, it’s over. Thus is the end of the Vile Scribe.”

He will tell himself that his newest pamphlet happening right before the decree wasn’t a coincidence. As soon as he got a dig in against the crown, that’s when the vote turned into a decree. At least he got the last word!

Well?

“Ah, very well. Let it be said that the man who was once the Vile Scribe keeps at least one of his promises.”

”If the Powers that Be write and publish ridiculous and false claims, then everyone should be able to. So I’m broadly against censorship laws, as basically tyrannical power-grab, trying to make one set of lies the only one allowed. With the exception of Lastwall.”

”There, a real political opinion. Even made it all nuanced, put in an exception.”

There is some muttered debate, but no one here has been to Lastwall or really knows for sure what their censorship laws are like. Someone remarks that they should probably find out soon, what with the new law.

Grinning at the knowledge that he's caused one final argument, the young man who was once a Vile Scribe slips away from the group.

It is now fleeing the country time. Those last few pamphlets were probably legal, and the wizard could just scry him and send a team, but there's some countries out there, but still. Better to be in another country with different laws, than staying put and just hoping for the best. Maybe Absalom, take these skills to the center of the world. Or maybe the River Kingdoms, he hears there's a "free city" there where they have permanent freedom of the pen.

Halfway to the river, a sudden realization: the "fleeing the country" pouch of coins is gone, having been spent on frantic last minute printing. Passage on a riverboat is expensive, and that's just to get to a port city. Passage on a ship will be even worse. Time for a less ambitious plan, heading for the nearest gate and making the trek to Andoran. Which is actually possible now, thanks to freedom of map. 

The flurry of activity drew attention from some people who are good at having their attention drawn, and who weren't busy like they had been this morning.

Pol was the one who checked, and saw the Scribe's face during the lunch break. So he's the one who goes and tries to tail him an hour later.

Kid's not bad at getting through the streets but he doesn't know how to lose a tail who's actually trying. Even with the changes of direction Pol catches up with him well before he gets to the walls.

He'll sidle up to him suddenly out of a side alley, in the kind of way that makes it pretty clear it could have been an ambush and wasn't.

"Where you headed now, kid?", he'll ask conversationally.

He jumps and makes as if to run, but no. That isn't how this goes. There's already a plan for how this goes, settled on at the start of this whole thing. Something like 'So, you’ve finally found me. But, one question for you… which one are you bringing me in for? Can you explain which part exactly it was...' With the pen-brandishing pose and everything.

Except this really doesn't look like the guard or the pamphleteer eating wizards. So, "Who's asking? Whatsit to you?"

He's maybe a little bit a guard, but he's definitely not the City Guard.

"Relax. I'm not with the law, and if I was this would have been a lot less friendly. I work for the Lady Mayor. She's a fan, obviously."

He's onto whatever trick this is. Everyone knows the new lord mayor is a man. Unimposing, mostly just cared about repairing the bridges, ran off to Absalom or something after the riots. If there was time, his pamphlet would be one about the Pharoj of Osirion hiring an architect to repair a ruin, but getting scared off by his own hired workers. Maybe they chased him away because they thought he was a mummy, because he was in the wrong part of the ruin, that sounds right.

Wait, he means the lady mayor of Kintargo, notable figure in the convention and on the streets. Her pamphlet is an obvious one. Absalomio, mayor of Absalom, shows up to a random city and holds court, settling grievances and sending guards to patrol. Until Simplicio points out that he's in the wrong city. Is that the punchline, or does Absalomio explain that he's actually such a good mayor that he's the mayor of every city he visits. 

"Is she now? A fan? I'd send an autographed copy, except I think that's illegal now."

"Maybe when she finds the real first one, she'll ask. Where are you planning on being, when she gets around to it?"

Okay very flattering that someone's information network already caught that little aside in Principles and is actually following up on it. He knew eventually at least one person would get it and follow up, but that was fast. Scary too, actually seeing some results. Poking the movers and shakers enough that they poke back.

"It might be harder to find than I was. I'm planning on being... well the plan was for no one to know the answer to that question."

Another look behind him, checking for escape routes, and whether this noble guard has any friends nearby. 

"If you were sensible, the plan was passage on a ship. Since I overheard you holding court in the cafe and then saw you start toward the docks... Well, it doesn't matter, does it. ...Lady Bainilus has a lot of writers on her staff. She says it's the only sensible way to run a city, having clever people say something more real than a proclamation and getting it passed around in bars and cafes."

"The bought pen, illegitimate younger brother of the free pen. Sounds like a sensible tool, useful for sensible people."

"She doesn't think pamphlets are dead for good. Give them a month, and Westcrown will calm down and be ready for interesting things again. You could lay low out in a village for a month, look back in and try again."

He actually pauses to ponder a moment, at that. Then laughs nervously. "Perhaps I was hasty with the dramatic finale and farewell, if that's true. Can't exactly bring the vile scribe back, especially not after a such a good finale."

"The sun sets on the free pen, the curtains begin to close. One final monologue, and then the trapdoor opens and the lead player falls. Really, it'd work better if you were unfriendly, and this was the last of me. But the good thing about a pen name is, I can kill it and keep my own head, see?"

"Hey, I'm not going to knock showing off. Fun even when it's not useful. But if you want to die for a better show I think you've gotten some new form of Shelynite crazy. ...The new Lord Mayor is gonna be. Unfriendly, that is. You don't have to leave town, but you've definitely gotta lay low if you don't."

“Mad, perhaps, but I am no Shelynite.  Firm believer in getting away with it. Hence the fleeing the country. Everyone thinking the Vile Scribe died or disappeared, but actually, he is living off his profits in Absalom, there’s an even better ending. Except for the part where I instead spent all my profits on one final print run, the grand finale. Woe, maybe I am a mad Shelynite.”

“What I mean by the pen name has to die is that even if I live, can’t really show my face in Westcrown again. Or it ruins the finale. The Vile Scribe writes his last, shows his hand and reveals the point, disappears… and then comes back a month later? Cringe.”

"...Yeah, I can't argue with that, spoils the joke if you're back. Maybe if you hit a last growth spurt and come back in five years, but no way now. ...I'll skip her ladyship's pitch for you to write new pamphlets next month on her press. If you just want to leave, another city's easier than Andoran. If you want to head to Kintargo, she'll pay your fare. Shensen and the Ravens would like you."

He grins— “I wouldn’t object to being secreted away by a powerful fan, kept hidden in another city until the time is right.”

"Pretty sure you could start writing under a new name the minute you're there. All the good imitation names are taken, though, you'd have to do something else. I don't know, write as Simplicio or some shit."

“I think I could pull that off. A new name, different gimmicks and formats now that I’m done with this one. Do they even have simplicio-fiducia over there, or was that a Westcrown thing?”

"Never seen it before, I think it came from an actual Fiducia writing one taking it seriously. It would be funnier if they did, though."

“Might be. I’ll need to spend a week or two just getting a feel for the pamphlet scene, how different it is from here.”

”Will there be a pamphlet scene in a few weeks? I know the lady mayor is permissive, but I’m not actually clear if the wizards scrying for scribes were Westcrown or just Crown. Or if they even exist at all, anyone can say they have an army of wizards tracking down criminals, just to scare people.”

"Nobody tells me for sure. I'm not sure anyone tells her ladyship either. But my guess is that Westcrown they're worried, because of the convention, and other cities they are not, and ain't bothering. I'm pretty sure I would have heard if there were wizards scrying for illegal pamphlets in Kintargo a month ago, but I also don't remember seeing much that was denouncement lists or other stuff they would have bothered with."

"I'll need some time to decide how careful to play things, in that case. The fact of the matter remains, I still have only one head. Thanks for the answers, and... you did say you were covering the fare to Kintargo? Thanks for that too."

"Of course. I'll give you the address for her office if you want to come get the fare paid for you. Hope you keep writing."