It was fine, he says cheerfully. I bought a new dagger, wanna see?

Sure.

"Shiny. Uh, I know the city pays your tuition, but that looks shiny enough to be kinda extracurricular."

"It is," he laughs, putting his shiny new toy away. "Don't worry, I paid for it. And I figured in the taxes."

"Yeah, how'd you do it?"

"Sold my body," he shrugs. "To somebody who wanted to eat a live nymph. It was fun."

"...That has got to fall under blasphemy laws."

"Not as far as I know!" he says cheerfully. "There's a whole business for it. I mean, nymph is pretty rare, but they've got anybody else you could want on a menu."

"Aww, sorry," he says, hugging her again.

"I'll be okay. I hate thinking about nasty social institutions I can't change, though."

He tucks his arms around her waist and kisses her cheek. "You're a sweetheart and I love you."

"Nah, I was just cleaning up."

"Let's go hang out in one of our rooms," she suggests.

"Sure! Mine? Mine is snugglier," he asserts.

"I defer to your expertise on snuggliness."

"Ooh, good going," admires Celo, curling up and nestling his head on her shoulder.

"Mmmkay," he says. He tucks his face into the side of her neck and closes his eyes and lets himself feel her, in depth, with full interpretation.

There is stuff to see!

Kisses kisses oh this is nicer when he's unsquinted all the way this was a good idea.

Bella has the best ideas apparently.

Jala did suggest something to that effect! Bella is intrigued to note its truth.

Celo likes being a source of tasty things! He giggles and kisses her when she has had a taste.

Ooh, he likes it when she pronounces his name.

Then it's good that she can do it!

He missed her too!

That is very considerate of him and she appreciates that and also all of the other things he does.

Celo is delighted to cuddle her. He loves cuddling, and he loves Bella, so naturally he loves cuddling Bella.

Yeah, he says comfortably. Didn't I tell you? It's not just tasty, it's basically - healing essence. My first landowner was plain human and he lived for eighty years on it, and by the end you couldn't tell he was a day over thirty.

Perk, comments Bella, snuzzling him.

Or I forgot it. Well, now I know.

My life is awesome, Bella asserts.

You're awesome, he says, snuzzling her.

I am! And you are too. So much awesome.

He giggles softly.

Nah, I'm good for tonight, he says, kissing her cheek.

Good. I'm comfy.

Love you, he says contentedly. G'night.

Oh, cool! he says, waking up immediately. Are they on sexy holiday again?

Nnnnno, looks like everyone has pants on.

Well, I can go in without you, if you'd rather.

Yeah, go for it. You can always open the door again if you meet anybody interesting, right?

Yeah, but what if they don't want to come visit? They can't count on finding the door again on a schedule that suits them.

You don't have to do anything about it, I'm just mulling over the fact that this means you won't get to meet anyone cool I find who doesn't want to visit our plane, and I'm trying to think of a fix.

"Hi, new Bell! Read the book! I'll tell everyone you've found your way here."

[Ooh, new Bell,] says Jellybean, conferenced to Jane and Tilly and Cam. [I wanna go meet her, how about you?]

[I'm in - relay to the whole peal, please, Jane - we should probably send a small welcoming committee instead of descending on her in droves now that we number more than a dozen, huh? Dibs, though.]

[I'll take a spot too - what's a good welcoming committee size? Three, four?]

[I'm not in,] says Tilly, to Cam and Jellybean. [You guys have fun.]

[I'll come though.]

[Me, Jellybean, Amariah, Aegis - has new Bell got a Joker?]

"Hey new Bell," Jane says, interrupting Bella's read of the Bellbook. "Have you by any chance got a boyfriend who looks like so?" And a series of images of Jokers appears.

"...Yes. He can't come in here, though."

"Oh, no worries, a welcoming committee of three of you and one of him is gonna come to you," says Jane brightly.

"...Awesome."

"There's more of both of you than that, but they don't want to overwhelm you right away."

"Can they come home with me? I feel bad about Celo not being able to come here when there are apparently," she gestures at the book, "interesting people to meet."

[Sure thing! I wanna meet her Joker,] says Jellybean.

Yoinking, one two three four!

"Hi!" grins Aegis. "Us three are Bells like you. That's a Joker. Me and Amariah have ones of our own at home too but they're not joining us today. Why can't yours come here?"

"He's a nymph, he'd get busted by Security," says Bella, putting down the partially-read Bellbook. "Nymphs don't wear clothes - is that going to be okay? My door leads to his dorm room, and he's in it."

Amariah glances around at the Bells chosen for this landing party. "This is probably the best-chosen set of three Bells for not caring about a Joker being naked. Maybe Rose or Sarion, but I don't know how they generalize beyond their respective ones. Lead the way. I'm Amariah, my entry's one of the first so you know about me; that's Cam, he's the boy one; that's Aegis, she's Jane's mom; that's Jellybean, he's Cam's Joker."

Jellybean gives Cam a demonstrative hug and Aether a friendly wave.

"And you're all okay to come through my door? I don't know when I'll get another."

"Oh, Jane does interdimensional travel!" says Aegis proudly. "We can pop in and out whenever."

"Did we somehow manage to not be the first alts you guys met?"

"Last semester Celo found the bar - it was on holiday, he was allowed to be naked - and we met Etty and Nona," says Bella, shutting the door. "Do you know them?"

"Nope, not yet. You didn't go up to the bar, or was this due to time-screw-uppedness before the founding of the Belltower?"

"I went up to the bar. I guess you hadn't been there - 'yet'," shrugs Bella.

"It's not a glamour, it's my enchantress's aura!" says Aegis, grinning, hopping into the air, and twirling effortlessly. "If you do enough enchanting you get one. We all have them. They do different things. Amariah's makes her witchy and tells everybody not to touch Path, Cam's makes him all honest-looking, mine does - moving, basically, two different ways. I'm Aegis," she adds. "And there's ten more! Plus this one and - which was the Bell, Etty or Nona? And however many more we haven't found yet."

"Etty was the Bell. Nona was her - Joker, I guess - girlfriend. I guess I need a nickname?"

"Yep," says Cam. "I'm lucky, I got to keep my regular nickname because I'm the only boy one so far."

"That is lucky," says Celo, looking up at him with a speculative smile.

"You should've seen the look on my face when I found out there were eight more of Jellybean. And now there are more than that within peal reach," snorts Cam when he observes this smile.

"Depends how you count if eight was even the right word," laughs Aegis.

"Besides you three and Etty what are the other nicknames?"

"Stella, Shell Bell, Golden, Angela, Juliet, Pattern, Rose, Sarion, Aurora, Glass."

"...I think I'll take Aether."

"That's cute," says Celo. "I love you."

Aether smiles.

"So what's this world like? Is it a fantasyland, I'm getting a fantasyland vibe if nymphs are a thing that exists."

"I don't think I catch your meaning?"

"The most common place for Bells to come from are variants of Earth, but there are some from farther-flung locales, with more or less magic."

"Or none, Angela's from a nonmagical world and not the Earth in it. But it has an Earth, and Glass's world, or Sarion's, don't."

"This is definitely a magical world. I have no idea how a non-magical one would even exist," snorts Aether.

"Some of us do pretty well!" says Aegis cheerfully. "Jane's the next best thing to minting and she's not magic at all, technically!"

"...She's not?"

"Nope! Very high-tech, but not magic, not a speck, Glass and Lazarus agree."

"Uh," says Aether. "Then - what is she?"

"High-tech, like I said. Emergent intelligence from a network of ansibles. Oh, and she's always watching, out of our jewelry," Aegis taps her earpiece.

"You come from a science world?"

"Yeah, you could call it that, Peace is really advanced compared to basically everywhere else, although I think Atlantis has us beat in a couple fields, not that this'll mean much after I drag Peace properly into our place in the multiverse and we can network."

"No, I don't mean how much science do you have, I mean - you have science."

"We all have science," says Amariah. "I mean, Chronicle and Thilanushinyel and Rêverie are more primitive than standard, and Peace and Atlantis and sort of Samaria and to a lesser extent Aurum are father along than standard, but - yeah?"

"What's your point, Aether?"

"Science doesn't - work here. It's fantasy. You can't do it." She swallows. "Are you sure Jane is still working?"

Aegis goes pale. "Jane," she murmurs. "Jane, say something -" [ - Jane -]

"What did your emossing nuzhnik of a world do to Jane?"

"Shit."

"I'm sorry!" exclaims Aether. "Etty didn't have - tech like you! She had fewer gods to worry about than I do, maybe, but I didn't realize my world was - I didn't realize the entire universe was a wonderful science fantasyland except my little part of it!"

"Okay, well," says Cam, "Jane's been down before, we just need to find a door and hope time doesn't unsync too bad at home. I've never tried Speeching a door into existence but maybe it can be done; maybe tenners can do it, we've all got a few of those; maybe Shell Bell or Sue will come rescue us any minute now."

"Hope time doesn't unsync - I have stuff to do at home, what am I supposed to do, pretend the assassination attempt stuck but only after a few months' delay? I have a political campaign to prep for, I can't disappear! What about Sue, you brought yours with you but mine and Ama's are left in the cold!"

"It's okay, it'll be okay," soothes Amariah, patting Aegis's shoulder, "we can figure something out, with four of us working together I bet you there's a cheat available."

"Whoa," says Aether, "no, hold up, don't start talking about cheating, you can't cheat, that's not allowed, hubristic tendencies whoa -"

"...Did you just use the word hubristic? Unironically?"

"Keez, is this what I turn into unfettered by constraints on my ego - yes, I used the word 'hubristic' unironically! It will get you killed if you go too far! I thought we were just going to hang out and swap life stories probably Jellybean and Celo would have sex, I didn't think you were going to show up talking about science and cheating."

"We've got a lot of magic," says Cam, "not just tech stuff - we actually carry almost no tech stuff except for the Jane-gems - we don't use technology to confront gods and so on except insofar as Jane usually lets us coordinate," says Cam.

"I didn't say tech wouldn't work - I said science doesn't work!"

"Okay, but," says Amariah, "this isn't like when Shell Bell died and woke up Downside stripped of magic. We all walked in here, I think Jellybean's been talking in the Speech the entire time, our auras are working, my brain's still boosted, I heard Aegis try the brainphone and it behaved."

"Sure," says Aether, "for now those things are behaving - if you get attention from a god, or a fae, or a greater dragon, or a demon, or a sufficiently powerful anything, I wouldn't count on it staying that way! You can't do big stuff, you can't cheat, you can't assume that if something little and local like a neat aura that you're showing off to a couple of people still works you'll be able to do anything major!"

"So when you say science doesn't work here," Cam says slowly, "you mean it literally - induction doesn't work here, experiments aren't reliable here."

"Yes," breathes Aether, "yes, that's what I'm saying, maybe you come from the settings of epic novels where heroes can use the regularities of the cosmos to bend reality to their will but here we have to rely on things that are intrinsically unreliable for anything remotely big."

"But - but -" Amariah gestures around at the room. "Look, this still looks, you know, habitable to me, this is a decent standard of living, how do you have mass-produced pillowcases and -" She gestures at Aether's jeans. "Denim?"

"If something works one way one time it'll often work that way other times. You just can't start - cheating. I have denim because denim is nonthreatening. Denim doesn't antagonize faeries or gods or dragons. If I read everything there is to know about the characteristics of one of those things - if I could magically know about everything dragons have ever done in the history of always - and then I came up with a way to use denim to kill one without being personally staggeringly powerful such that it would be appropriate for me to beat a dragon, that seems like it would still make sense based on all that, then it might work, but only if the universe was in a good mood or if the dragon was due, and I probably couldn't do it twice."

"But we are staggeringly powerful!"

"If you're going to say shit like that can you at least not do it near innocent bystanders?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Okay, talking's probably safe if that's all you do, but - I'm paranoid about this, I have hubristic tendencies."

"Of course you do. Bells, given enough resources, tend to take over their worlds. Oh, you poor thing, what a terrible place for you to have wound up. What were you going to do with yourself?"

"I was - I mean, I am, it's not like you guys can change any of the relevant factors, is it - I'm going to be a mental healer. I'm a subtle artist."

"I guess Pattern was going to be a doctor or something," mumbles Aegis vaguely.

"...This world won't Downside," Cam observes abruptly. "Normally that would just mean Aether has a project upcoming, but in conjunction with everything else I'm worried, can we even trust torching?"

"Yeah - Aether, you're the expert here, tell us what we can and can't do while we're stuck."

"...What can you normally do? What's torching?"

"Most worlds - not this one, not Syntropy," Aegis gestures at Cam, "and not Alethia, but all the others we know about, started out connected to or can be made to connect to an afterlife called Downside. We sort of - we didn't actually conquer it, but it's probably the easiest way to summarize - and collected some magic from it. If you die and show up Downside, then if you suffer would-be-lethal damage you reset to a healthy state right there. One of the things on the Bell checklist is to gain the ability to do that, and also to visit the Downside admin and get her to give you the power to distribute torching to other folks. If we make somebody from a world torchable, that'll usually also hook up their world to Downside. We can do it a la carte," she gestures at Cam and Amariah, "but the way you're talking I'm not sure we should even touch you with it.'

"Yeah, um," says Aether, "I'm not actually sure if that would do me harm or just fail or succeed according to universal whim, but maybe you could leave me alone on that front until and unless I would actually die otherwise?"

"Okay. And apart from that, me and Jellybean are wizards - we can speak a magical language that lets us address and command or coax plants and animals and objects that can't usually talk, and also just lets us communicate with anyone. Does that sound safe to use here? Jellybean's been doing it the whole time, he never bothers wishing up languages."

"...I think that sounds safe to use for communicative purposes, especially if you've had it and been using it for a while," says Aether carefully. "I wouldn't try to 'coax or command' anything big. No gods or faeries or dragons or anything - like that. And I don't guarantee that even small things will work how you're used to. But - wishing up languages?"

"The basic utility magic for everyday Bell use is wish-based," says Amariah. "We, or helper mints, make magical coins that can be wished on. Most of our magical powers work that way. A pentagon is the shape of the coin that's the right size for magically learning a language; we all did it for yours before we got here."

"Kheez, I am really glad I caught you before you tried to do anything with that - sweet happy fantasylands with well-behaved wishes - don't touch that kind of magic here. Wishes are dangerous as hell, they will not work how you want."

"But our existing powers mostly work like that! We have perfect recall and accelerable cognition and we don't trip over our own toes and you'll notice we're talking Pax right now!"

"Sure, you made the wishes in Science Fantasy Land," says Aether, shrugging, "and now you don't have a wish, you have a power. It's not like people here can't have powers. I'm a subtle artist, and I'd be surprised as anything if I woke up one morning and that didn't work. As long as you aren't cheating or pissing off anything big, powers you already have should work about like normal - I mean, they might glitch in some funny way, I won't rule that out, but it's safe to talk in Pax and think fast and remember things and walk upright - lucky bastards - just day-to-day."

"How sure are you about that?" asks Cam. "Because there are some things it would be bad if we suddenly couldn't do. Our memories and whatnot are one thing, but - say - me and Amariah have daemons -"

"I'm Amariah's daemon Pathalan," says Path. "Cam's is Grace and she can turn into a notebook and is in his backpack. Don't ever, ever touch us."

"And when we want to, we can tuck them away inside ourselves, if we're worried about somebody touching them, or if it's just more convenient, or whatever," Cam says, "but neither of us do it naturally, and having something go wrong with one's daemon is disastrous."

Aether thinks about this. "Are there daemons who can do it naturally?"

"Aegis's Joker Sue can. He got his daemon on purpose - he wasn't born with one like me and mine - but while he did it, he was dreaming. Jokers sometimes dream their way into Milliways, when they're locked up. So Ivy can tuck and untuck without having any wishes made about it."

"I miss 'em already," mumbles Aegis.

"...I don't think anything bad will happen to them if you tuck them," says Aether, "but I wouldn't bet your lives on it. They seem to be okay now, right? Don't - don't make experiments you don't have to make."

"Okay. And I'll have Grace stick to being a notebook for the time being too, no birding."

Amariah cradles Path to her breast and shivers.

"There's also enchanting?" says Aegis. "This wouldn't be much help if there weren't Jokers here, but there are. That's a kind of magic from Rêverie, the kind that got us our auras - usually you'd just pentagon knowing how to do it, and hex being able to, but we can explain - you take power from the sky, or from the earth, or from your will or your emotions, and you pass it through a spell and then through your mindscape or a channel's -" She indicates the Jokers present. "And that hurts, but, Jokers, and then you can accomplish whatever the spell was for. It's - I think it's less sciencey than wishcoins? Enchantments have personalities. Wishes work more like programs."

"When I handled my world's afterlife, I went to a couple places where I couldn't make wishes, but I could do enchantments," says Amariah.

"I think that - again, standard caveats about annoying large things, cheating, reaching for power beyond mortal ken, hubris - that sounds much better than trying to wish for things."

"Okay. That's an imperfect substitute and requires a cooperative channel to be handy - Rose is the original Bell enchantress and she can enchant through her husband at range, but she's the only one with that trick down, she had to be really familiar with his mindscape and do enchantment-style mindreading for a long time first."

"Good, I was worried I was going to be stuck with nothing, you're a wizard and you're a witch but I'm just a space admiral," grumbles Aegis.

"Speaking of being a witch, I'm not a human," says Amariah, flaring aura briefly - just long enough to wonder if that's a good idea and change her mind. "On my world besides humans there's witches, like me, and we can do some magic. It's ritual-based. Poetry, some materials - thank goddesses all I have my cornucopia on me, although I guess the cornucopia's a separate question - occasional animal sacrifice, drawing runes on things. Motion, for a few spells."

"Usual caveats but I'd expect your racial traits to be intact. There are all different kinds of people with all different associated powers and characteristics." Aether gestures at Celo. "Tell me about the cornucopia."

Amariah fishes it out from where it's hung by its twist of silk under her outfit. "It's this thing - Matilda made a bunch of them, mostly for Shell Bell, but I took one home because it's useful for generating spell components. If I name something edible - it won't do poisons, but I usually can work around that - then it'll appear it for me. If it matters, Matilda was the first person in her world to have magic."

"...If I heard of a local magic item that did that I would expect the conjured stuff to be temporary. Yours might fall in line with that rule. I don't know if that'll affect your spells. You shouldn't try to live on food it makes. It probably won't blow up in your face, especially if you've had it for a while."

"What is the local magic like? As long as we're exploring what's available."

Is it time for another thaumo lecture? Looks like!

Aegis holds up a hand in the middle, when Aether's summarizing subtle arts. "Wait, I thought of something more urgent. A lot of Bells have some form or another of native mental opacity. We're some of those, all in different ways. What should we expect?"

"Uh, I have that," says Aether. "I'm a naturally defensive subtle artist. I'm not all-powerful. A stronger artist can break my shielding. It doesn't affect anything else besides subtle arts, either, I can be just as easily affected by a mind-affecting arcane or divine spell or by racial traits or whatever as anyone else. You're probably all better protected than some random person, but you shouldn't expect to defy dragon will or countermand divine orders or whatever it is you people usually do with your time."

"Alethia had a god," snorts Amariah. "He shriveled up to next to nothing and I wouldn't call him that anymore. And he had a right-hand angel, and he presented more of a problem, but that didn't stop me from gutting him."

"Okay, look, Celo's one thing, but don't say that kind of shit in front of anybody else who practices divine magic or is really religious or - you know what, just don't say it in front of anybody who's not in this room," says Aether.

Amariah holds up her hands nonthreateningly.

"Long as we're still safe in this room, my world has some ineffective sorta-okay-ish gods and one evil one," volunteers Cam. "I haven't taken on the evil one yet, but it's on the list, should I also be careful talking about that?"

"Yes. Be careful talking about that. Aegis?"

"Nothing Peacewise. Unless you count Jane." Aegis takes her earpiece out of her ear and looks at it sadly.

"Okay, well, I can only imagine what it must be like to grow up with no gods - but here they exist, and they are very powerful, and we don't even spend too long speculating about taking their jobs or giving them pieces of our minds or gutting their servants."

"Uh," Aether squirms. "...I cannot disclose the details, for which I am extremely sorry, but I have reason to suspect that Callahan falls into the category of something big, and I doubt any of us would get along with her on a personal level, so avoiding her is probably a good strategy?"

"That makes it sound like she's been threatening you," Cam says.

"She has been threatening me and I take it very seriously, okay?"

"Take it seriously when Callahan threatens you," Celo puts in, as general advice for anyone who is listening. "Callahan can fuck you up. I don't know whatever - Aether - knows that makes her think that, but I know it's fucking true."

"What kinda powers does she have, and if she has such powers why is she a schoolteacher?"

"Why would I know that?" says Celo. "Seriously, why? Bella, they're not listening, make them listen."

"I don't know if she can kill you or not, and I'm the local expert, right, that should at least give you serious pause if you're used to gallivanting around with invulnerable immortality, right, surviving assassination attempts and taking over worlds and so on - do you have no self-preservation instinct at all? - do not fuck with Callahan, please, please."

"We're not going to go randomly attack her, but if Celo can't get her to tell him what he thinks she knows - I mean, she won't necessarily recognize me as being your alt, right? Maybe it'd be safe for me to talk to her? Specially since I have a layer of wizard wards under all my wished stuff and you thought wizarding would go on working about like normal..."

"Unless you annoy something big, like Callahan."

"I don't know for sure that Callahan can get around whatever you've got on you, or that she'd even try. I mean, I'm a nymph, she'd have to go a ways out of her way to put me down and keep me there, and I don't just assume that she's gonna take a carriage into the city and burn me down if I ever piss her off. But if I pissed her off bad enough, she might. And let me tell you, if you'd taken any of her classes you'd know this already - you call her a 'schoolteacher' like that's a cute fluffy thing to do, but what she teaches us is how to kill people. You know, and how to stop them from killing you, but according to Callahan the best way to do that is to get there first. Are you starting to get the picture?"

"What makes you so sure that we don't qualify as something big?"

"It sounds like, where you're from, you do. But it also sounds like where you're from is a wacky science fantasy where you can conduct experiments and attack gods and have no restraint on your hubris, and I don't want to bet your lives on that being true here!"

"What she said," Celo agrees.

"At least let Celo try talking to her first. And - and I'm going to be late for Arcane Defense. It's the first class of the semester, if you guys want to - can you be invisible?"

"Of course!" Pause. "Usually. Wished power. We use it all the time, though - safe to try?"

"Yeah. Should be."

Aegis turns invisible, then turns visible again. "Okay, we can follow you to class. Won't do anything rash till we hear from Celo."

"Okay," says Celo. "I have class with her later, I'll see if I can catch her then. Meanwhile, I'm gonna be fucking Jellybean, so go away unless you wanna join in."

Cam thinks about this, but then he kisses Jellybean goodbye instead. "Maybe later. We're gonna be here for a while." He turns invisible and follows the other Bells out of the room with Aether.

[Don't all go charging off to break down her door,] Aether tells the other Bells desperately, [please, I'm terrified of her.]

[We could spy on her invisibly, see if we can find anything?]

[That is a worse idea.]

[We have to do something! We can't just stay here forever! The arcane defense was calmly talking about logical paradox like that's a thing!]

[We could just - wait for a door,] says Cam. [Amariah, you visited Juliet for a while...]

[Yeah, sure, but I'd gotten to Sunshine through Milliways on both ends, I knew to expect no time to pass back home - with Jane down and us having gotten here through a door only on the one end it could already have been years! I just got my afterlife sorted out. I have witch queens to talk to and subworlds to explore and trapped angels to visit once a week in case they decide to talk to me!]

[Tough shit,] says Celo. [Look, you're all more or less adults. If you want to go pester Callahan, I'm not gonna knock you down and sit on you until you think better of it. I'm just saying, you could die. You could seriously permanently no-takebacks die. Up to you if you like the risks.]

[I haven't gotten to my afterlife yet. There's billions of people on Syntropy who are disappearing to some unknown fate. Don't think I don't understand the urgency of being able to go home. But, look, they find doors here. We can wait for a door. It could've been years, but it could've been less time than we've spent, too.]

[...If I for-real-forever die Jane probably does too.]

[Ugh.]

[Anyways,] says Jellybean, [there's no indication that how long we spend here matters at all to how long it will have been back home, right? Once Jane's down, it's all up for grabs. She was out for three seconds from her end last time and some of the gaps in other worlds lasted years. ...I guess if it is proportional, that's a big problem.]

[It's probably not proportional, but it probably is monotonic. If we got home now, less time would have passed than if we got home tomorrow.]

[How do we know?] says Jellybean.

[It's the simplest explanation for what Jane noticed about her clocks when she came back last time.]

[Why is it the simplest - you know what, never mind, I don't care,] says Celo.

[What did Scary Fighting Teacher even say?]

[I stayed after class and she asked me if I'd met anybody interesting lately. I said 'like who?' and she said 'like anybody'. It's the same thing she asked me and Bella when we ran into her at Milliways that one time.]

[...She knows about Milliways?]

[Is there any way to interpret that which doesn't make it sound like she wants to meet us?]

[Yeah, there's the interpretation where she's yanking my chain because she knows something I don't know she knows,] snorts Celo.

[Was Jellybean there when you talked to her? Did she notice him?]

[I am not even slightly interested in going down that road,] says Celo.

[How are you even alive, Aether, how did this world not drive you to take your own life when you were five,] despairs Amariah.

[I can still do things! Just not - big things!]

[I am giving this world three days to present us a door before I go talk to Callahan, if one of you better-than-me-at-socializing types wants to preempt me you're welcome to it.]

[No - no, please don't,] exclaims Aether, [that is such a bad idea, please, this is not just your life you're playing with.]

[Yeah, for fuck's sake, if one of you guys is gonna talk to Callahan don't send the extra cocky one,] says Celo. [Unless you think getting nailed in the face with an axe will tone her down a little.]

[I don't know what happened to Jane! This world might've killed Jane and I don't even know! I know we don't usually act like she's my kid but she kind of is, and she might be dead!]

[I know, I know, but - Celo's right, you are not the best Bell ambassador, not to anyone besides more Bells or Jokers. And putting yourself in possible physical danger is not the best way to keep Jane safe if she's not dead.]

[Yeah. Let's - not do anything nuts, okay, let's find our bearings, and if we're desperate after a few days me or Amariah can go talk to this person.]

[Thank you,] says Celo. [Fuck. And let me introduce you, okay? If she fucks you up she might let me heal you afterward.]

[Rose says her aura does healing, but the rest of us have never had cause to test that aspect.]

[Don't trust it. Local healing is pretty good, though. And if anything complicated goes wrong with you that Celo can't handle, Amariah and Aegis at least could borrow my student ID and get into the healing center.]

[Yeah. Anybody want cookies?] says Celo. [They just came out of the oven.]

[I could definitely use a cookie.]

Cam hugs Jellybean back, pensive.

Aether appears to be feeling clingy.

Amariah and Aegis will be over here, Aegis floating weightlessly and Amariah sitting in the air, eating cookies, missing their own boyfriends.

[So, Celo,] says Cam, just to Celo and Jellybean, [in the interest of distracting myself from being stranded on an unfriendly world, I feel inclined to mention that you are currently the only Joker I have met and not had sex with.]

[I know little about nymphs. Please explain nymphs.]

[That's definitely an interesting take on the template. And yeah, if we're going to have sex anyway you can read me, but when we get out of here and you're going to Bellparties I think that's going to upset some people. Especially Golden. Although I guess the fact that you go around naked all the time would probably shoo Golden and Bells on her end of the spectrum away pretty effectively all on its own.]

Celo giggles.

[And Aether was talking like the all-nudity-all-the-time thing was a reason for you not to go to Milliways, so I'm guessing that's a big deal?]

[Yep. Like, there's a bunch of rules for how nymphs are supposed to behave, and I break some of the rest, but that's a pretty hardcore one.]

[Okay. Your prerogative. What say we leave the girls be for a bit?]

[Deal,] Celo says brightly. [My room?]

[Sure thing.]

"I take it you've already worked out the non-monogamy thing to your satisfaction."

"Monogamy was never on the table. He would literally die."

"I guess that's one way to handle it," snorts Aegis.

In the following days, Callahan shoots Celo a smug look or two during class, which information he does not volunteer in case it encourages somebody into doing something stupid.

Amariah steps into the office, and revisibles herself.

"Hi," says Amariah. "I'm Isabella Amariah."

"Heh," says Callahan. "And I'm Jill. Want to tell me why you're in my office?"

"I think you may know something I'd like to know."

"You bet I do," Callahan agrees. "What do you plan on doing about it?"

"I had some hope that you'd tell me if I asked you nicely. Will you please tell me what it is that you know about - us?"

"Nope," Callahan says promptly.

"Why not?"

"Because you can't make me," says Callahan, "and you'll do what I want eventually whether I tell you or not."

"What is it that you want?"

Callahan just smirks again.

[Any suggestions?] Amariah asks Celo. [I mean, she hasn't tried to behead me yet.]

Amariah will let him take it from here for a bit.

"This isn't a good place for a Bell. It's stunted her growth. I don't think she's going to do anything interesting without help. She's met more of her now and she's still - showing up to classes, talking about being a mental healer when she grows up."

"Hmm?"

Amariah... listens. She is not Diplomacy Bell, but she can sometimes be Quiet Bell.

"We don't all get anywhere without help."

"I'm having trouble reconciling your behavior with you being a person who'd invite Bell influence."

"Yep," says Callahan. "That's because you think that if things were going your way, you could knock me around. And you think the only reason to order up a Bell is so you can set up shop as a benevolent local deity. Wrong and wrong."

"Care to enlighten me?"

"Take a guess," says Callahan.

"Reasons to 'order up' a Bell," contemplates Amariah. "We do lean pretty hard on the benevolent local deity angle. Given the chance, which the local is convinced she doesn't have. Some people like having us around for personal reasons," she inclines her head at Celo, "but you're not lining up to be her best friend."

Callahan snorts eloquently.

Amariah is starting to wish the landing party had included a Sherlock. "I suppose you wouldn't have to like what Bells do if you just disliked the alternative enough."

"There is that," says Callahan, nodding.

"Which just leaves all manner of politics, infrastructure, thaumatology, natural processes, and infuriating local metaphysics that could have you displeased."

Callahan looks simultaneously inscrutable and smug.

"Of the things on the list, though, the one she'll need fixed before she can accomplish any of the others is the last. Perhaps you think we're going to manage it."

"No comment," she says cheerfully.

"But at least it's clear you don't have any intentions, or at least not discernible ones, to offer direct assistance."

"You haven't asked me for any," says Callahan. "Besides, I already saved the local chick's ass. Twice."

"There is a significant chance we will just bail her out of the world, set her up comfy in one that doesn't have a Bell of its own, and come back here in several hundred years when we're out of easier targets," says Amariah. "D'you want to tell me anything that suggests this place is not so hostile to Bells as to warrant that?"

"Nah," Callahan says cheerfully.

"Do you by any chance know how to summon Milliways?"

"Maybe," says Callahan. "What would it get me if I could?"

Amariah turns invisible again, then teleports back to Aether's room.

Celo goes back the long way.