"May! Hey! How's the middle of nowhere?"

"It's nowherey. Is this a good time?"

Alli checks her watch. "Sure, why not. Unless it takes more than an hour, I'm meeting people for dinner."

"I mean, that's very much up to your reaction. Remember how I'm a dragon?"

"Wait, you're a dragon?!"

"I'll take that as a yes. So, the day I was born, somebody who was very sad about how extinct dragons and sphinxes were cast a spell to conjure up baby extinct things. She did not get a dragon, because look how not extinct I am, but she did get a sphinx."

"Merde, ce n'est pas bon. Are you okay? Did anything happen?"

"No no no I'm fine. She doesn't bite. The conjurer tracked me down - wyvern turns up out of nowhere, apparently this is kinda suspicious - but they're friendly. And it turns out that somehow the spell managed to pull my entire personality to give to the sphinx. We even have the same voice and handwriting. Although she's white. Might be that sphinxes never intermixed with Asian populations or something so she couldn't look like me and be a sphinx."

"Oh wow. So what, now you have a sphinxy twin sister? How does that work?"

"Okay, let's stay far, far away from the sister terminology? Like, very far away, because we are also both bisexual and she has her head in my lap and before I called you we were making out."

Alli bursts into hysterical laughter, which eventually winds its way down towards breathless giggles. "You didn't! Man, this is why we're friends. Well, also the crazy dragon thing, but- but-" aaaaand the hysterical laughter's back.

"I thought it was the hours on a plane together. I'm crushed. Anyway, I want to tell Jenny, but I'm not sure how she'll take the girlfriend thing, let alone the magical duplicate extinct species thing."

"I think you'll be okay..." Alli says uncertainly. "I can't remember her making a fuss about anything, anyway. And isn't that friend of hers gay? The tall guy in band?" She huffs. "Enh, I don't know, I don't have a questionnaire for this stuff I ask people to fill out. But if I had to guess, you'll be fine."

"I'm going to lead with the girlfriend part. If she cannot handle the girlfriend part she does not get special advance knowledge privileges on the dragon sphinx thing."

Alli shrugs. It then occurs to her that May cannot see her do this, but she elects not to care. "Seems fair to me, I guess. Let me know if she gets weird about it and I will make judgy faces at her?"

"Sure. I'll let you know. Oh, and the girlfriend's name is Isabella."

"Oh thank god, if it had been 'May 2' I would have gotten so confused."

"Pff. No. Probably if we were both named May we'd start going by April and June just to disambiguate."

"Hah, okay, that is just too nauseatingly cute. I have to eat after this, you jerk."

"I wish I had more cuteness to share, but we haven't been dating very long. But now I know your weakness. So watch out."

"Hey, us magically impervious folks have to have some weaknesses. It's only fair to the rest of you."

"Hey! Long time no talk, what's up?"

"Couple things are up. Thing one, I have a girlfriend. I don't think you knew I was bi, so this could be surprising."

Okay. Impressively unCatholic of her but May's not complaining. "Her name's Isabella and she's from California and she's right here listening to you squeal."

"...I refuse to apologize. Hi Isabella! Nice to meet you!" Pause. "Be nice to May or else, she's awesome."

"That's really not going to be a problem," Isabella says in the direction of the phone.

(Their voices are differentiable only faintly, by accent, but May's is louder.) "And the story of how we met starts in a weird place and gets weirder from there, you want to hear it?"

"What? Yes. Duh. Storyyyy!"

"Item one: I am not a wyvern, I am a dragon."

"...that is not how I was expecting this story to start. What, really? Really really?"

"Yes."

"...wow. Congratulations on not being extinct? Okay, for now, freaking out about the crazy dragon thing can wait. Story?"

"So, the very day I was born, a runecaster decided she didn't want dragons or sphinxes to be extinct, so she cast a spell to conjure up baby extinct whatevers. But I was a dragon and therefore dragons weren't extinct, so she only got a sphinx. The sphinx she got contains a duplicate of my personality down to the handwriting, and that's Isabella."

"Did you steal one of Patrick's story books?" Jenny wonders. "Like, I love you, you're probably not messing with me, but also- whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat."

"I'm not messing with you. Our voices are the same too, but that's a little hard to prove over the phone unless you're really good at telling the difference between real and fake American accents or different versus identical voices speaking at the same time."

"But... but..." Jenny splutters. "You're supposed to be extinct. She was extinct! is! I don't know. She's just... she's created? Whaaaaat."

"Rumors of my extinction were greatly exaggerated and she's a mammalian-slash-avian Jurassic Park situation," says May dryly.

"I... do not know what part of this story triggered your incoherent unhappy noises button, if it wasn't the 'girlfriend' part."

"I was not really expecting the... the... created out of thin air thing? It's. Hard to wrap my head around."

"This wasn't like in a lab. She has a mom who, you know, mommed her. She has to pretend to be adopted because her mom's Chinese but she doesn't really consider herself that way because she did make her."

"We're really happy. I am obviously the sort of person who is meant to date myself."

That gets a slight giggle. "Good for you! I bet I would drive myself nuts."

"Then if I find a duplicate of you I will not set you up. Anyway, we're doing a global reveal of the dragon and sphinx thing, and I wanted to tell you guys first."

"Awww, thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Oh god."

"Oh hell."

"Are you in for it?"

"Eugh. Not really, but it's not going to be fun."

"Yeah. Well. If anything ever killed a mood..."

"No kidding. I will be back shortly possibly to hide under your wing from everything." May gets a quick peck and the sphinxette goes to find her mom.

"Depends. If I ignore it will it go away?"

"I know the standards but I was thinking I'd be unconventional and go with 'date virgin female duplicate of self' just to be really sure."

"Safety is important with everyone, not just men, Isabella, though I grant I'm not planning to worry unduly about teen pregnancy here. But unless you want this speech every time you date someone new, we're going to talk about the general case, not May in particular. And that was more than I needed to know about her private life, sphinxette, thank you."

"Oh, I got permission to tell you that in advance because I figured I needed to expect this and thought it might shave off a few minutes, but apparently it is in question that I'm going to continue dating my personality duplicate? Like, this is not somebody from summer camp who bonded with me over affection for koalas or someone I have been flirting with across a coffeeshop counter."

"However unlikely you find it now, yes, you do need to sit through an extra five minutes rather then discover later in life that you were not correct, at seventeen, about who you would date for the entire rest of your life. It's not that long a speech, sphinxette, you've gotten it once before, you'll live."

"Right." Isabella leans her chin on her hand. "Fill your responsible parenting quota."

"We're in Canada right now," points out Isabella. "Since we're reminding each other of things."

"And I haven't a notion what the Canadian laws are on the subject. As long as you know them and don't get into trouble, it's fine. And this is all a moot point in September anyway."

"Right."

"Congratulations. You have survived the awkward conversation. You're free to go." Isabella gets a hug and a kiss on the forehead for tolerating her Embarrassing Mother. "And next time, I promise to knock!"

"We weren't even - ugh," sighs Isabella, and she goes to hide under May's wing from everything.

Well, her mother will be there for the first chunk of it, but yes, eventually.

Excellent. Magical duplicate girlfriends proceed to be as glued at the hip as they can while one of them has obligations to public school.

As soon as Jenny finds out, she corners May during lunch. "Alli says your girlfriend's in town! Is she just messing with me or is she actually here? If she's here then eeeeee that is exciting and can we meet her?!"

"Of course you can! She's been picking me up after school in my car, she won't mind hanging around so you can all stare at her."

Jenny dances delightedly. "Yessss!" She smirks at May. "Now we can evaluate if she is acceptably awesome enough for you. She must be worthy."

"She could not possibly be more worthy she is a literal duplicate of me!"

Jenny waves her hand dismissively. "You're my friend, I have not yet met her, she must still be vetted! Friend Code. She's just, like, basically guaranteed to pass. But the Friend Code."

"Pff."

And after school here is a sphinx to collect her dragon.

Alli and Jenny have no problem blatantly following May. When the sphinx arrives, Alli waves lazily. "Hey, I'm Alli."

"Jenny. Hiii!"

"Isabella. Nice to meet you."

"You too! How long are you in town?"

"Until Vivian drags me home. I'm not the one with conventional school to show up at every day."

"You lucky b-"

"-person."

"I am in fact very lucky to be homeschooled. By all accounts I'm not missing much."

"You are so not."

"People, maybe? Do you have friends your age at home? I have some cousins who are homeschooled and they barely ever leave the house, it seems lonely."

"I'm an introvert, and besides, there are other ways to be around people. The Avalon, for example."

"Oh, you have an Avalon! Which one? What's it like? I've been to barely any!"

"It's nice! Good place to fly around, good bookstore."

"Oooooh. That is a greaaaat idea. We should all go flying!"

"And I... eh. I'd probably hang nearby and throw paper airplanes at you."

"Poor Alli."

"Eep. Sorry! I forgot."

"Meh, I don't care. I can appreciate nature, or whatever. Write angsty poetry about how tragically flightless I am. You know, as I do."

Hee. "But seriously, do you guys actually want to go flying? We could go this weekend if you're free?"

"I'm game."

"Sure."

"I've got plans Saturday, how about Sunday?"

"I have mass in the morning, but if you guys can pick me up we could go right after?"

"Sure, when will you be out?"

"Noon when it's not a holiday. That okay?"

"Mm-hm, give me the address?"

Jenny starts to recite it, rolls her eyes at herself, and writes it down instead.

"Nice to meet you too. Jenny, ready to go or should we drive around the block?"

"Just one sec, I don't think you need to drive, just gotta tell my mom I'm leaving. Be right back, 'kay?" Jenny says distractedly, and ducks sideways in search of her family.

Father O'Brien looks curiously at Isabella. "So, Jennifer tells me you have a rather unique childhood?"

"...Well, I was homeschooled," says Isabella.

"Oh, my apologies. I was referring to your mother's work. Jennifer showed me a printout before Mass; her friend sent her a story of how a childless couple came by their daughter. I confess to some curiosity; we haven't many runecasters here."

"Well, if you want a kid without breaking your priestly celibacy talk to my mom, I guess. I don't remember the process myself."

"I believe that's the case even with the usual process," Father O'Brien says, looking amused. "And dear me, no, I'm well past that age, bless you. It's some of my congregation that would benefit." A few couples he can think of in particular, but obviously he can't say who, and it's not like names would mean anything to her. "I don't suppose anyone religious has gone through the process, that might answer some questions? Or if you're religious yourself, and willing to humor me?"

"Not a speck. And I don't keep track of Mom's clients' beliefs."

"Not a speck?" he says sadly. He has found such joy in God's love, it always pains him to think that others might lack the same peace in their own lives.

"Nope, never. I didn't actually come intending to talk to a priest today, so, like, at the risk of totally failing to balance politeness with accuracy and at even higher risk of missing some key point of theology I don't actually care about, I find it really bizarre that people in general find the idea of an omnipotent omniscient omnibenevolent entity morally defensible, let alone empirically plausible."

"Isabella," says May.

"Bleah. Sorry."

Father O'Brien is briefly too started to reply, but he is rescued from answering by Jenny's reappearance. "Okay, all good! Found 'em, Mama's got the herd under control, time to go?"

Alli's waiting for them at their flying spot. There's a pile of paper airplanes next to her. "It's my favorite non-extinct critters! Right on time."

"Hi, Alli. How're you doing?"

"Oh man. So ready for my tragic poetry. Woe is me. I only have super strength and magic skin. But lo, I cannot fly. How will I live."

"Well, the magic skin means you'd probably survive if we all tried to pick you up, wanna try?"

"Wait what- maudit, are you serious, yes please."

"Okay, wingspans mean we shouldn't haul you by your arms, but we could... I don't know, get some rope, make a harness?"

"I... have no idea how to make one of those. And I don't know how invulnerable my bones are to long drops, so... maybe some testing. A lot. A lot of testing."

"It would mean no hauling you around today, but you could get something like a hang glider harness and climbing ropes with carabiners and we could hold onto that?"

"I'm bringing a cameraaaaa!"

"Like that would stop me."

"Is it really a good idea having critter shenanigans on camera?"

"Er, why not? I mean, don't take them to a clueless developer or anything, but oh my gosh we have so many pictures of the herd at home I can't even tell you."

"Okay, fair enough. It just seems harder to keep a consistent handle on it that way."

"Meh, I don't think it's any harder than hiding the whole 'I can sprout claws and fangs at will' thing."

"Typically you're aware that you're doing that, whereas someone could swipe your home videos without tipping you off."

"I mean, sure, I'm aware when I'm in fullform, but not necessarily if other people can see me?" Jenny says with a shrug. "No one's perfect. I don't know of anyone ever spotting me, but I know it happens. Crying 'Bigfoot' has worked weeeeirdly well so far."

"It's probably getting to be about time that keeping it hushed up forever is untenable. Maybe after we've handled the immediate results of being a dragon and a sphinx we'll see about negotiating telling humans things."

"Huh. On the one hand, hell yes I'm never using scissors instead. On the other, if I get forced into the CAF, I blame you."

"Any outcome that results in a critter draft is unsatisfactory."

"Well yeah, I don't think you'd do it on purpose, I've met you."

"Do you find lion claws to actually be a practical alternative to scissors? I have not found this."

"Not for most stuff. But most of the time I just use scissors to open boxes, which claws are killer at. And looks way cooler."

Jenny sprouts wings and grins. "Flying to school would be sooooo great I can't even tell you. But till then. Flying? Pleeeease?"

"Have fun, winged ones. I'll be locating the best sunbathing spot. Block my sun and be glared at." She shifts fullform.

Flaff go sphinx wings.

And likewise dragon wings. Up go Isabella and May, wingspans prohibiting handholding but not synchronized flight.

The two men are standing there, looking stern and unsmiling. "Is this the Sun residence?"

"Yes. Can I help you?"

The taller one reaches into his pocket for a piece of paper. The closest edge shows what are clearly runes drawn on it. "Statim dormi!"

Isabella doesn't even have time to blink in confusion before she slumps against the doorframe and to the ground.

The chanting priest keeps chanting, but the other one looks at her dispassionately. "Quiet, demon. This shall be over soon."

"What are you talking about? What are you going to do?"

"The what is done? I'm not a demon! I've never been to Dis!" Her medallion is suppressed with everything else; the restraints are abruptly too snug. "Ow - you're cutting off my circulation -"

"Why do you even think I have a demon in me?"

The priest doesn't quite roll his eyes, but his weary expression implies he might like to. He ignores Isabella's question and begins chanting with his companion.

"Is this because I was irreverent near a priest one time? Did the fucking Inquisition kidnap me because I snarked near May's friend's priest?"

The priests continue with their chanting. One takes a bowl of water, sketches a cross above it, and sprinkles it on Isabella's forehead.

"That's not going to do anything because I'm not a demon nor do I contain a demon, did you consider that possibility, do you even have a contingency for oh gosh golly we kidnapped a nondemonic teenage girl and probably gave her nerve damage or something? Seriously the ropes really hurt, you could loosen them a little and I wouldn't be able to get away as long as it's paws."

The priests pay her no mind. Demons are accomplished liars. They're just going to finish their exorcism over here.

The person who picks up is not Isabella. Vivian's voice is frantic. "May, oh God, have you heard from Isabella, please say you know where she is-"

"What? No! I've been calling her on and off for hours. Is she missing?"

"She's not here, she left her phone and there's no note and I can't find her with a trace spell, I don't know what happened!"

"...Okay. From a magic theoretic perspective and assuming she's alive why would that happen?"

"It's a physical component spell, it should work unless her actual body is missing entirely, either she's- she's- I don't know, been transported whole and entire to Dis or something, or something is blocking me and I don't know what or how could except maybe you."

"I don't have her, I promise. What else could be blocking you?"

That was not at all what Vivian meant but whatever, bigger things to worry about. "Other dragons? Someone's made a spell that does the same thing? I'd say limitations of the spell but I've tried three since you called. How long have you been calling, how long has she been gone?"

"I first called about - three hours ago? If someone's got a spell blocking you it might not block me, depending how I work. Email me a trace spell to try, I can find one of her hairs on my hairbrush."

"...I'm sorry. I just, uh, wanted to stop in before I went looking. She's still gone?"

Vivian tries to say "yes", but her throat is refusing to make sounds. So she just nods miserably.

-and she will arrive in the dingy entryway of a room in a discount hotel an hour's drive south. Isabella is tied to the bed, asleep or unconscious, while two men in priest's cassocks are chanting tiredly in Latin.

The priests jump backwards, shocked out of their chant. One takes a wavering step towards May, but the other snaps something at him in Latin and grabs for a weird black device on the floor next to them. Instead, he sketches a sign on the floor, chanting a quick couplet.

When the spell fails and the claws come out, the priests visibly change priorities. They bolt for the door.

The smaller priest scrambles to his feet and heads for the bed, but the taller one hauls him to a stop. "We can't just release a demon," he tells May in frustration. "Do you any conception of the damage they can do?"

"A demon?" snorts May. "You can't release a demon but you can try to run away from the dragon who wants to do exactly that without pausing to explain? What makes you think she's a demon?"

"We go where we are sent," the priest says, still shrill with fear. "We are not the ones who evaluate. Demons lie, and we haven't the training."

"What a pity," says May. "Then you can't convince me not to let her go, can you, since you kidnapped her on no information. You can let her go for me with your nicely clawless hands, or I can crush this box that I suspect is stopping our medallions and tracking spells from working and then do it myself."

The smaller priest looks entreatingly at the taller priest, who ignores him. "We're helping her," he insists. "Do you know nothing about demons? It's this or death."

The priest looks at her like she has lost her mind (more than, in their opinion, she already has). "We don't kill demons. Angels kill demons. I'm warning you, not threatening you!"

Tiny scared priest is very happy to offer his phone to May. Indignant priest mostly looks glad this is going to be someone else's problem.

Is there a smarter person on this phone?

Well. There is a person on this phone who seems inclined to ramble at length about the history of magic, the church's investigations into souls, and the dangers of intersecting the two. Biblical quotes are used liberally. It probably applies to Isabella somehow.

"AHEM!" May says to the phone. "You have four sentences to convince an angry dragon who holds your entire theology in contempt not to untie her kidnapped girlfriend."

After some panicked indignation on the other end- "Demons are real regardless of theology. She was created by magic and magic can't create souls. If she's ambulatory, she's a demon. We're exorcising the demon so an angel doesn't kill her instead."

"Your theory involves a demon living a harmless suburban life for seventeen years. Yes or no question: does that sound consistent with your understanding of demons?"

"...no."

She seems to be distracted. The priests are going to flee now.

May's tail says they're not. Not yet.

They are not fast enough or nimble enough to successfully get around her tail before she's gotten Isabella free.

"Hey Isabella," says May, jostling her girlfriend awake. "Isabella. What do you want to do with these creeps?"

"Mrrrg?"

"Hey you. Came to rescue you. Got you a couple of lousy priesty types. You are judge and jury. I'm executioner. What've we got?"

"Do they?" May inquires of the lousy priesty types.

This is outside their area of expertise. The shorter one mumbles prayers under his breath while the taller one retrieves the phone and has a brief discussion in Latin. Then he crosses himself and bows his head. "We apologize," he says roughly. "They say they were likely mistaken."

Isabella rubs her wrists. "Are you going to kidnap more people on suspect information from idiot superiors?"

The less hysterical priest looks rather annoyed by this description of his job, but he shakes his head and mutters something unflattering about his superiors in Italian. The other priest is still murmuring prayers, but manages a matching head shake.

"Yeah, all right, I will not sic my firebreathing girlfriend on you. Go home and think very seriously about your church hierarchy."

And so ensues Fleeing 2: The Flee-ening.

When Vivian sees her daughter, she immediately latches onto her for a desperate hug and some hysterically thankful sobbing. Thanking May will happen once this is done.

Hug. "I'm okay."

Vivian is thrilled about this, and she will be expressing that fact with- more tears. And occasional mumbles of things like "I was so scared" and Isabella's name.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, just some nutcases wanted to perform an exorcism. May got me and I'm fine."

"Exorcism?!"

"I mouthed off to a Canadian priest and they thought I was a demon on the grounds that magic can't create souls? It was dumb. May explained to them that it was not reasonable to expect a demon to spend seventeen years growing up and doing nothing much demonic for no obvious reason."

"Is this as vulgar as it sounds?" whispers May.

"Thereabouts."

May's comment reminds Vivian of the other girl's presence. May may now be the recipient of lots of tearful hugs and babbled "thank you"s. They are even mostly in English!

Hugs. Okay, that's awkward, but this is probably not the moment to discuss that. "You're welcome. I wasn't gonna just leave her -"

Vivian lets her go after not too horribly long, less out of picking up on social cues and more so she's not crying all over May's shirt. She turns back to Isabella. "Do you need anything? Can I do anything? Should I- 坏了, I have to call the police!" She looks between them for help. "What should I tell them...? I can't very well mention a teleporting dragon."

"Thank you for not mentioning any teleporting dragons."

"You can go ahead and tell them that a couple people kidnapped me to perform an exorcism and that they were eventually convinced that I was not a demon."

"But how would I have found- I guess if they think you convinced them- and dropped you at home maybe? I'll just call them," she decides finally with a sigh, and pulls out her phone to dial the number they'd given her. She drops a kiss on Isabella's forehead as the phone rings. "Anything I can get you, sphinxette?"

"I'll just get myself some water. I'm fine, really."

"I'm still making 饺子 for dinner! Comfort dumplings are important!" Vivian tells her, before the police pick up and she's distracted with explanations.

"Mm, dumplings."

Hugs.