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A cold day in
Veron meets a tiny Audrey in his portable hole
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A man trudges through a vast expanse of ice, huddling in his fur-lined cloak, trying to protect himself from the wind. It's almost pointless, the biting wind doesn't work like ordinary biting wind. Veron has survived many a cold winter, but winter winds don't cut through all layers like a hot knife through butter and chill you to your bone. The warmest clothes barely do anything to stave it off. But 'barely anything' is better than 'nothing at all,' so he huddles near-uselessly in his cloak and mutters biting curses at the cold under his breath.

Screams echo across the tundra. That just sort of happens, here. Maybe someone's caught under a glacier. Maybe someone's getting tortured. Maybe someone's just chopped their own frostbitten foot off and are screaming their rage to the universe. Maybe the Blood Wars are scootching over in this direction. He doesn't know. He hopes not, that sounds terrible.

He's exhausted, but he doesn't let himself collapse just yet. The plan had been to rent a room at the tavern with the dragon bartender, but that had not gone quite as he'd hoped. Devils don't really like humans, and he'd be both in danger and was bad for business, so the dragon wasn't willing to rent him a room and he wasn't willing to stay. Which is just as well, really, the tavern wasn't much warmer than anywhere else in this cursed place, and the entire place smelled like brimstone and blood. He'd probably be driven to sneezing if he tried to stay there for long periods of time. The beds probably had weird Hell bed bugs, anyway. Mephistopheles had seemed like that kind of prick. The kind that would make evil hellish bed bugs to infest all of the beds in the realm, nibbling at your squishy bits while you slept. It's likely that he's rationalizing, but he's been through kind of a lot today. He's allowed to make ridiculous rationalizations after getting banished and bound to literal Hell. Whatever works to help him cope, keep himself walking forward instead of sliding to the ground in an exhausted heap.

That's how you die, in weather like this. Collapse, say you're just going to rest for a little while, never wake up again. He's not really sure how that'd interact with being in an afterlife, but he really doesn't want to find out. It'd probably do something terrible, like destroy his immortal soul forever, or some shit. Freezing to death isn't the worst way to go, but that really doesn't matter if Tymora wouldn't get him after all. Besides, he has things to do. There's an Archdevil on the loose, and he'll be damned if he doesn't put him back. Rather literally.

The cliffs are further away than they appeared. Which figures, really. Maybe they move. The secondary plan had been to try to find a cave in the ice cliff, but that's looking less viable now. He might need a plan C. Maybe he should get to working on that while he can still think coherent thoughts. He stops, considers what he has on him. He glances at the flat expanse of nothing that surrounds him on all sides, and notes how quickly the snow is piling up. He runs through worst case scenarios, decides that he doesn't give a shit, and that if this goes terribly he can probably think his way out of it. The key is to be able to think properly.

Then he unrolls his portable hole and carefully climbs down the ladder. He snakes a hand up to the edge, and after a couple of false starts, successfully rolls the portable hole shut behind him. The six foot wide hole is plunged into absolute darkness, but the unceasing wind is cut off, quieted. It's still a bit cold, but not unnaturally so. He's a bit exposed, out in the middle of fucking nowhere, but the hole will get covered with snow soon enough. And if someone comes to bother him about it, well. They will regret bothering him about it.

He slides to the floor, leaning on a pile of junk and letting his breath out in a sigh.

"How did I get here?" he says, to no one in particular. Sort of a pointless question, really. He knows what happened to lead to this situation, mechanically. It's just so unbelievable and insane that he's having trouble believing it, even after having lived through it.

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... is this darkness pink-tinged?

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... It sure looks pink-tinged. And he'd notice, he knows his darkness. That's weird. Maybe it's a property of the demiplane that he'd never noticed before? Or some kind of glowing thing hidden in this junk somewhere?

He supposes it doesn't really matter, does it. Just his brain catching unimportant details because he's exhausted. He idly inspects the various piles of junk, trying to piece together some kind of plan with all of the crap he has with him.

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An inch-high girl stands at the foot of one of the stacks of junk, glowing a very faint pink as she inspects it with casual intensity.

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He slowly tilts his head.

"... Hello," he says, attempting to sound casual and sort of missing.

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Tiny pink girl jumps up into the air, flashes a flutter of wings, and disappears into the pile of junk with a shrill "eep!"

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"Oh, um. Sorry, I didn't mean to - look, I don't - I'm not going to hurt you. I'm Veron, uh, hi."

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The tiny pink girl sticks her head back out. 

"Um. Hello?"

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"Hi," he repeats, feeling very inane. He waves, a little. "Are you um. Shopping for a vacation home, or a long term resident, or?"

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"I'm... an Audrey. I live here. Well, live here now, haven't always, but... have since before I met you?"

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"Oh." He considers. "All right. I'm uh, sorry for dumping stuff in your home, I didn't know anyone lived here."

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Audrey steps up out of the mess, and sits down on a convenient book. 

"Oh, don't apologize. Most of this isn't even yours, right?"

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"Nah. Well. Maybe by now it is. I just - try to be discerning with my junk dumping."

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Audrey smiles. "It's very good junk."

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"Thanks. I try. So um - ... I'd offer to get you a tiny dollhouse or something, but I'm actually not in a great dollhouse purchasing situation right now. I could probably feed you if you, uh. Eat."

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"Oh, don't worry about that. I'm cozy enough in here, and I have all the food I can eat... though I'll admit my spices are running low and I'm getting tired of everything being some variation of bread. Are you short on provisions at all, when the entrance was open there was this wind that just couldn't be natural, are you taking care of yourself what's your name are you uninjured should I go get some fire pebbles-" 

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... He smiles, a little. Someone trying to take care of him is kind of novel.

"I've got a decent amount of provisions, enough for easily a few weeks. I'm doing my best to take care of myself, though the odds are a little stacked against me. I've a few scrapes and burns but I cleaned and dressed them and I've been keeping an eye on them. They should be fine, given time. I would love some fire pebbles, thank you. Um. Also some way to dig myself out of the snow when I open this back up and get moving again, if you know of something like that in here?"

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"Ummmmmm. Might take a little longer to find something like that, but now that I have someone who can just haul big piles of junk around I ought to have more luck." 

She blinks. "Oh, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't step on this heap I'm sitting on or move it around or anything, I have the inside sorted out properly..." 

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He nods.

"I can haul big things, we can look around for something," he agrees. "Sorry if I've, um. Upset things before."

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Audrey smiles. "Oh, it's no problem. If I minded, I would have said something. Would you care for some better first aid, there are any number of miscellaneous healing things in these piles - "

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"Sure. I shouldn't have more potions, I might need to drink some later and don't want to, uh. Make myself sick. But other things would be fine."

He fishes casually through his pocket for his true seeing gem. Can't be too careful, he is in Hell.

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Audrey smiles cheerfully and flits her wings. 

"Alright, let me see if I can find a wand I can lift..." 

In a little glimmer of pink light, she wings off over the junk heaps. 

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Veron peers at her through the gem while she's looking elsewhere. Exactly what she looks to be, it seems. In another heartbeat, the gem is returned to his pocket.

"Would you like some help?"

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Audrey flits back and forth over the junk heaps. 

"Maybe once I spot something that looks likely, give me a moment..."

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"Sure."

He shushes accordingly, to give her space to think. He could use it too, to be honest. He's got a lot of problems that need to be solved, and not a lot of ways to solve them.

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Audrey makes a little high-pitched noise and dives into a pile of... stuff. Mostly boots, it looks like.

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Ah, the boots that didn't fit anyone he knew, and weren't the kind that resized themselves helpfully. Yes. Those boots. He remembers those boots. Vaguely.

He waits.

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Audrey pops up again after a few moments, smiling a little sheepishly. 

"Um, could you move this boot right here -" she taps it with a foot " - about a foot thataway?" She points.

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"Sure," he agrees. He pulls himself to his feet with a bit of help from the ladder, carefully makes his way to the pile in question without disturbing anything else in the hole, and moves the boot appropriately.

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Audrey slips into the narrow hole left behind by the boot, and emerges again hugging a wand taller than she is. 

"Here we are! If I'm reading this right, this is a wand of Cure Light Wounds. Who knows how many charges it has left, but since it's still glowing a little I bet it's not none."

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"Thank you," he says, smiling. He gently takes the wand from the tiny pixie, then bops himself on the head with it.

He feels a bit better.

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Audrey giggles, then flits up so Veron can see her more properly and does a little air-curtsey. "It's my pleasure. Care to join me for lunch before we start digging through the mess for something that moves snow?"

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Veron bows politely in return, still smiling. "I would be delighted."

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Audrey turns towards her original junk pile, and ducks in among the miscellaneous bits. A box buried beneath all the clutter glows briefly, and suddenly a nearby shield is buried beneath three layers of tarts, danishes and other breads, along with a large glass pitcher of water.

Audrey pops out, observes her handiwork, and smiles. "I've been tweaking this ration box for months now. While I've managed to get it to do more than just white bread, I'm afraid it still serves fifteen and still doesn't do anything that isn't 'bread but fancier.' Probably better than trail rations at least, though."

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"By a long shot," he agrees, delighted. He awkwardly finds a place to sit nearby in the small, cluttered space. He might be sitting on something important, he's not sure.

"I do have more than travel rations, though, if you'd like to look through it and have something besides fancy bread?"

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Audrey flits over and sits down on an unoccupied corner of the shield. "That would be wonderful. Even the nicest pastries get a bit tiring after long enough."

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"I can imagine. Personally, I'm sick of mushrooms."

He retrieves his own food stores; dried mushrooms of various types, some dried meats of dubious origin, some dried fruit-like objects that probably aren't actually fruit, a weird pale-orange paste, bread of a different texture, and a few vials of spices. They're set out tidily in front of Audrey.

"I'd offer to make some kind of soup, it's really the best way to have any of these, but uh. I really don't think a fire's a good idea in here." He glances around at the many flammable things.

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Audrey smiles and shrugs. "I don't mind at all, new food's exciting enough. I don't need new exciting temperatures as well." 

She looks over at the not-an-entrance. "I've been, uh, meeting too many of those recently."

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"Yeah, you and me both. Anyway, have whatever you'd like. I warn you, the orange paste is kind of spicy."

It's been so long since he's had normal food, it's been all mushrooms or weird shadow food or travel rations or whatever strange goop Ashtara fed him. Audrey may be sick of bread, but he sure isn't. He himself is going to enjoy the danishes and tarts.

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Audrey nods, considers a moment, and attempts a fruitlike object.

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It has an interestingly chewy texture, and while the outside is dried like a raisin, the inside is juicy. It's savory instead of sweet, like someone injected some kind of exotic soup into it, or made a dumpling out of something that then later liquefied. It's sort of bland, but bland in a noticeably different direction than bread could manage.

Veron, meanwhile, looks ecstatic about his normal food. Yay! Normal food!

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Audrey chews thoughtfully, then smiles. Oh gosh, she has something to eat with texture again.