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a fall from grace
Amina's origin story in golarion
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Cursed totems did not belong in the archive of Sarenrae’s temple, and yet somehow one had ended up there. The fiend bound in the totem waited for sometime to be found, until one day a young cleric named Amina searched through an unremarkable box. When her fingers brushed against it she froze, the brief touch enough to let it gain a hold on her soul as her body fell to the ground seizing.

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The first of the three times Amina awoke that day, she did so lying in the infirmary of her God’s temple. Inside her Evil festered, while beside her cot stood a senior priest of Sarenrae, a look of concern on his face.

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After Amina had her bearings the priest explained: An evil, helpless without a body or existence of its own, had taken refuge within her.

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And so Amina looked inward and saw a darkness, grinning back at her fear.

She tore her gaze away from it after a moment, because even looking at it was painful.

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"You are protected here, and with the grace of our God we can purge this spirit, so long as you can reject its embrace." said the priest.

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And though it hurt and she had not been asked to, Amina looked back at the knot of pain around her soul and saw a fear that wasn’t her own.

"The spirit doesn’t want this?" she said, hoping a better way could be found.

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The priest’s heart broke then - the sort of breaking that it would do again and again without shattering. 

"I believe you little one, that just like us the spirit wants to live. If I could I would offer it a Good life."

With a deep breath he continued: "But I cannot. And if we don’t act to stop it than someday many others will be hurt."

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"What others?" asked Amina.

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"Mortals, like you and me."

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"But who?"

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"I can’t name them. No one can, for as long as prophecy is broken the future is uncertain."

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"But I can name this spirit, and it will certainly be hurt by its own destruction."

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The priest smiled a grim smile - proud of the Good he saw in his pupil. He knew what lesson he would need to teach her, though it wasn't an easy one to learn.

"Even if we can’t say who it will hurt, we know it will hurt others. We’ve seen it before little one, in the lessons of ages gone by. Normally disciplines are only taught about this when they are older than you are now, because we do not wish to poison them against Evil and so first we teach mercy."

"But I don’t think it’s a favor to you, or to the world, to hold off on this lesson now." he said, his voice apologetic.

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Amina didn’t think there was anything for the priest to apologize for in teaching her.

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And so priest steeled himself.

"I can show you now what ordinarily we would wait to show you - the memories of pain and anguish of our past, and the lessons we learned from them." 

He held his hand outstretched, a spell of ancestral memory upon it.

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Amina took the hand, drinking of the knowledge with less regard for her own self than the church would ordinarily teach her.

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The history that the priest showed her was one of mercies gone wrong, of how lessons that they hoped Evil would learn were ignored, of the mortals and Gods alike turned to ends that hurt and broke more to Evil in turn. Brutal conquerors who grew their armies with the aid of healers, starvation caused by thieves who had failed to reform again and again, and how it took a grand tragedy to save everyone from the mercy and acceptance of Sarenrites when they had allowed an evil to fester above a vault holding the end of the world.

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When Amina awoke for a second time there were tears in her eyes and the priest saw he had been understood.

And then she blinked, the tears falling across her face but her eyes steely nonetheless, while she turned to the fiend within herself once more.

"Would you do these things,” she asked.

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"Yes", it answered - for it could not lie to her, "I would do all that and more, and delight in the doing."

 

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More tears came then, even as she asked her second question.

"Would you prefer to never do such things, if that were the price of your life?”

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"Perhaps, but I will make no promise to abstain for my life's sake, for I refuse to stay my hand from the Evil that I am," said the fiend.

It thought then that it would perish, and within the secrecy of Amina's heart it was glad that its death would wound her so terribly to allow. A final act of malice, for that was in its nature.