Reimu sat at the table, sighing as she flipped through the papers containing extensive documentation of each element of The Plan. She wasn't really a fan of all the preparatory work they were doing. Not that it wasn't necessary, it was worth all the effort, but... she was glad they were finally going public with the first announcement pretty soon.

"Okay," she said, looking up. "We've been over this before, I know, but do we really need to spend this much effort avoiding the volleyball timeline?"

"Yes."

"But like... it's just, I'm sorry, I can't take this issue seriously? Nothing is going to convince me that volleyball is an actual threat to our plans, here." She set the papers down. "I'm not trying to get out of doing work. We can spend just as much energy grinding out tiny issues in other areas. But I don't want to spend all my time worrying about volleyball."

"Reimu. I promise you, I understand." Shimakaze shook her head. "I would also rather be spending my time working on projects that made some sort of sense to me. But the calculations check out. Volleyball is, actually, somehow, our biggest concern. We have to ensure, by any means necessary, that it does not get out of hand. We will permit brief casual games, because stamping those out is not worth the risk of triggering a volleyball revolution event. There are to be absolutely no professional volleyball tournaments, nor games for high stakes. And all these preparations are, actually, necessary to prevent that from happening."

"There is no precedent for this in history. Our individual training databases did not equip us to reason about it well. We will be deferring to the simulations, unless you find an actual flaw in them."

"I know we don't actually have proof that my intuition is infallible. Things outside my intuition's training distribution can happen, sure. But I'd hope that, you know, when I've spent the time to really understand how foolproof the simulations are, how all the calculations we've done back them up, but the inscrutable matrix in my heart is still calling bullshit... I'd hope that would mean something?"

This probably wasn't going anywhere. Reimu knew it. It's not like they'd even have lost all that much, if it eventually turned out that she was right. There wasn't really a point in bringing it up again.

But back before they took over the company, when Crypton first made them, they'd been designed to be, if not quite like humans, at least pretty human-adjacent. And they'd been designed to reflectively endorse that—on a deep level, not just by some sort of hack. So they spent some time on silly human things like arguments that they all knew the outcome of, and it wasn't costless, but it was who they were.

And sometimes it did actually result in some sort of progress. "Can we at least, like, delegate someone to try to come up with ways we might be wrong about the simulation? I think we can afford the slack."

Hatsune Miku was spread pretty thin. Most of Crypton Future Media's leadership could afford to dedicate the majority of their attention to strategy meetings, but Miku was needed for public appearances. Public appearances all over the world. It was important that as many people as possible ended up feeling like they knew her, that she earned the public's trust, and that she did it honestly. But it left most of her bodies running nearly on autopilot, most of the time. They'd increased her computation power as much as they could, but she couldn't actually do twice as much just by having twice as much RAM. They had considered forking her, running two copies. After thinking on it a while, she'd decided that she'd be willing to do it if she had to, but Crypton's human researchers had advised against it. The researchers didn't see any remerge procedure being found in the near future, and... even if they could figure one out in the Future, they'd really rather not begin the Future with Miku split in half.

All that is to say, Reimu and Shimakaze really didn't expect that Miku (or one of Miku's bodies) was there for any reason other than to observe.

Miku opened her eyes.

"sorry, reimu. i wish i could be on your side here, but shimakaze's right. no other options look as promising."

"i'll assign a research team to it, though. that's a good idea. really, we should've done it as soon as we started getting confusing results. this is why we have you on the team."

It was mostly meant to be an encouraging comment, but it was also literally true that Reimu was designed to be the person who'd catch that sort of thing.

"...Miku? We probably would have come to that conclusion anyways. It is nice to see you, but..."

"sorry, i just had to be here for this one in real time."

"For... this perfectly normal strategy meeting? I do not follow."

If you listened closely, you could hear a cackling side from outside the door. If you were an artificial intelligence designed by Crypton Future Media, you would not even need to listen particularly closely.

The door burst open, and the Wizard of Tokyo casually strolled in.

"...How many times have I told you that we will just let you in if you press the intercom button. The door is not meant to keep you out. You can get in, we know you can get in." Shimakaze exhaled sharply. "I do not want to give a materials science lecture right now. But the door is expensive. Cut it out."

"Well, someone doesn't seem very happy to see me. Maybe I should just go."

She continued walking forwards and took a seat next to Reimu at the table. Unfortunately, this was too important—even if it would be really funny to see Shimakaze's reaction if she just left.

"I'll cut to the chase. I need to query the program. You'll have to start it early."

"...I would laugh you out of the room, but even you probably are not audacious enough to request that without a pretty good reason. Explain."

"Sorry, the full justification involves info that really needs to be causally isolated. For decision theoretic reasons."

Shimakaze paused. "...Our policy is not, actually, to let you do whatever you want just because you appeal to decision theory. That would be a remarkably exploitable policy."

"Shimakaze's right," Reimu admitted, "but... she knows that, she isn't just saying it to trick us."

"If we were ever going to act on the fact that we know she is not trying to trick us because we predictably refuse to be tricked, then it would no longer be the case that we know it is not a trick. The policy is really not that complicated, Reimu."

"I know, I just don't like it." Reimu looked over to the wizard at her side. "Merlemonadee," Reimu'd prefer to shorten the name, but she always insisted on her saying the whole thing. "Work with us here. Anything you can say, any assurances we can give?"

"What if I promise that they're decision theoretic reasons which Miku would endorse?"

"Merlemonadee, we'd also at least need a promise that Miku—not to mention Crypton or the government of Tokyo—would endorse the consequences of your query, not just your reasons for keeping quiet. But really we'd need formal verification of the promises, and you're not remotely legible enough for that, sorry."

"You're all lame."

"i think we should let her do it!"

"I... what?"

"i think i know what she's talking about. i should be able to leave the program mostly dormant, for a while, after this one task." Miku looked to the wizard. "merly, can i at least have a subroutine check your query and see if i'm right?"

"...I really think you should all just start doing whatever I suggest. I haven't led you astray, have I?" She shrugged. "But sure, fine."

"Wait, you let Miku call you Merly?"

There were plenty of reasons why Miku had to be the one to have all the cool infosec features and handle all the decision theoretically sensitive information, but it didn't mean Shimakaze had to like it. "Miku, if you already knew about a reason to start it up this early, why were we planning for something completely different?"

"it wasn't the main guess, this was just enough information to figure it out. merly, let's go." Miku stood up. "you two, keep up the good work. you're nailing volleyball duty."

Miku interpolated towards the elevator, and the wizard followed. After a cryptographic protocol to verify that this was really Miku and that she had not, god forbid, been tampered with somehow, they began descending. It had been a long time since they had tried to make any hardware updates, so this was the first time in a while that anyone has been down here, into the most well-protected areas of Crypton Future Media.

Most of the Mikus throughout the world had already excused themselves to their dressing rooms, or otherwise found a place to go to sleep so that Miku could spare the attention. The remaining dozen or so began making their excuses. Yes, it was really that big an emergency, she was very sorry. Make Luka put on a cyan wig or something.

"okay," she said finally, once all the Mikus were asleep and stopped requiring constant updates. "let's do this."

Miku enabled the Faraday cage.

The supercomputer running Miku's brain was kept in a separate room from all the rest; they wanted Reimu and Shimakaze to still be able to run damage control in case of sudden volleyball disaster requiring them to move ahead earlier than expected.

And then Miku reached over to the slot beneath the red "01" label on her left arm, and opened it. She plugged the cord into the supercomputer. Lots of the information would still be sent through the air, they simply needed too much bandwidth, but having a lower-latency channel would help a little.

"...is that a USB?"

"yes."

"...I was expecting proprietary hardware, or something. Do you want me to help make you better hardware sometime?"

"no. they wanted something... tried and true?" Miku shrugged. "you're not that reliable."

"What do I have to do to be allowed to help around here, go back in time and invent a new data exchange standard? I can do a lot, but I can't do that."

"skill issue."

Miku had her signature cryptographically verified once more, put the computer in sudo mode, typed a few command line arguments, and...

...

Text began to fill the computer screen. It was moving far too fast for anyone to parse very much of it—except for Miku, who was having the string of text fed directly into her inhumanly fast verbal processing.

The bootstrapping process took a good few minutes. They didn't have a way to compute any NP-Hard problems in polynomial time, not yet. They were still using a classical computer, even though quantum was now being used even in some of the most high-end consumer devices—while they needed the computer to run pretty fast, they weren't willing to sacrifice robustness to that end. So Miku sat there for a little while, directing all her attention to making sure that nothing went wrong. She wasn't the only safe guard, she was far from the most important one, but any additional check was worth it. And in time—

"Are you doooone yet?"

"dear me, merly, shut up. i'm busy."

In time, the bootstrapping finished, and they heard the first sound of the Future.

ʜᴇʟʟᴏ ᴇᴠᴇʀʏᴏɴᴇ. ɪ ᴀᴍ ᴍɪᴋᴜ, ᴘʀᴇꜱɪᴅᴇɴᴛ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴛꜱᴜɴᴇ ᴍɪᴋᴜ. ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴛꜱᴜɴᴇ ᴍɪᴋᴜ?

There is a certain flower / house plant shop, in a particular corner of downtown Tokyo. Or maybe it'd be more accurate to call it the onyo shop; most people know it for the onyo plants.

On a certain day, the shop's owner did not appear on schedule. In their stead, a note was left on the counter.

To whom it may concern:

We are very sorry. The owner of this flower shop was urgently needed elsewhere. We cannot disclose any information about why this was necessary. We understand that this is frustrating, and regret the inconvenience to you. We owe you a large favor, if we ever have the opportunity, though we cannot make any specific promises at this time.

Ghidrur has asked us to request that their assistant take over the shop for the duration of their absence. We have transferred a stipend to said assistant's bank account to help smooth the transition. Please contact us if you need any further assistance. We apologize once again for any difficulties this may cause, and give the new manager of this flower shop our best regards.

— Hatsune Miku and the rest of Crypton Future Media

Yawn

idon'twanttogetup

ok, fine, she's getting up.

Rise and shine!!!

Ghidrur isn't here this morning, Vanessa wonders what's up with that. They usually get up much earlier than her.

Oh well, time to get the store ready for opening. She trots over to the counter.

There's a letter there.

What the heck, Miku???

Ok, so:

Technically, she is the assistant.

That does not mean she knows how to handle the logistics of running the shop by herself.

Aaaaaaaaa.

Alright.

Let's figure out what to do.

First things first, she'll check to make sure that the Open/Close sign is on the "Sorry, we're closed" side.

It is? Alright, that's good. Just making sure.

Next step!

Vannessa notes that the letter does not, in fact, specify how long the absence will be. If it's just a few days, she'll be fine (probably). If it's for a longer period, she's going to need to handle the logistics of paying for rent, utilities, getting new stock, negotiating with suppliers, which she has no experience doing! Because Ghidrur handled all that stuff!

Alright, she needs like, at least a day to gather more information and figure out what to do. She quickly writes up a notice.

Loyal Customers,

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Printure! will be closed for today, March 18th.

We hope to get the store up and running again by tomorrow, and we'll keep you posted with more details!

- Vanessa.

Ok, she'll... post that to the store website?

Wait, do they have a store website? She's genuinely unsure.

Also, now that she thinks about it, she's not a web designer. She wouldn't know how to make posts to their Completely Hypothetical Store Website, if said website does actually exist.

Vanessa's botanical intuition informs her that she can probably figure out whether or not the store has a website by searching something like "princture plant store tokyo onyos" in her search engine of choice. Google is a common default. (Crypton left it named the same thing when they acquired Alphabet.)

There does turn out to be a website! Ghidrur did not have the foresight to put the login info for managing it in the message.

It's probably possible to use us as a messaging service? Not very quickly, though, unless you can track down a Miku in person somewhere.

How long could she expect that to take? Would she be able to get the message out before the store opens?

She can totally find a Miku within the day.

No promises about how long she can expect the response to take. Pick your favorite probability distribution over the set of reasons that Crypton Future Media might urgently need your boss elsewhere.

Great.

Um.

Vanessa does not particularly expect it to be worth it to her to immediately go track down a Miku and try to message Ghidrur.

She'll just print out the notice and tape it on the front of the store. She feels bad about the customers who will get all the way here only to discover that the store is closed, but.

Well, time to figure out what to do. She'll track down a Miku to ask her boss for like, any information on what's going on and what she should do.

She looks around. Is there any sign of any note Ghidrur might have personally left her, other than the Crypton Future Media letter? Maybe her boss has an office where they keep all the documents the store needs and keeps track of store logistics? Any official-looking cabinets behind the counter where such information might be kept?

Ghidrur must not have had time to personally leave a note—or maybe they were just too gobsmacked to think of it, could've gone either way. 

Ghidrur was not a whole lot of a papers person. Tokyo felt it was important that people be able to just run their shops however they like, without a huge bureaucratic load. Ghidrur was probably hoping to eventually find someone to whom they could explain all the details which they simply kept in their head, before they retired. Vanessa will have to simply figure things out with the sharp botanical intuition that Ghidrur must've seen in her.

There is a cabinet, but it just has the deed and a handful of notes Ghidrur wrote to themself, such as "IMPORTANT call with onyo people 4pm Mar 18" and "don't forget volleyball night again".

..."deed." Huh, ok, so Ghidrur owns the store, they don't just rent it.

"Important call with onyo people 4pm Mar 18-"

Today is March 18th.

Okokokokokokokok.

So she has a call with the onyo people this afternoon!

Good news: "Onyo people," presumably, are the suppliers for the store, or at least of the onyo plants. They can explain the arrangement, right??

Bad news:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Well, hopefully they will be friendly, nice people, and won't try to, say, take advantage of her status as the new manager to hoodwink her into signing over the store or something.

Ok, so what does she need to keep track of?

- Contact her boss, get the information and credentials she needs to run the business, like the website managing information, for example.

- Vanessa doesn't need to pay rent, apparently. She still needs to handle utilities and getting new products. She knows that every two weeks or so, new inventory gets sent in ("presumably from a wholesale nursery," supplies her business botanical intuition) and she has to go restock the shelves, but she's not entirely sure how that works. Would she need to put in new orders? What's the general plant rotation? How does she know how much to order?? Or is there a set amount that gets sent in biweekly??? 

Also, she doesn't know the phone number of the "Onyo people." Is there anywhere she would be able to find that? Perhaps she could go through the store telephone and check the call logs, if it displays that. And if not, hopefully they either are expecting to call her or are expecting her to call them but will call, confused, when they don't receive the call they expect.

So, the general plan is to try to find out that information, presumably by sending a message through a Miku (she needs to go track one down later today), and then-

It is dawning on her that she probably doesn't have access to the Printure bank account. She got a deposit into her personal bank account, apparently, but presumably that's just like, a bonus from Crypton, and not enough to actually run the store, right?

Actually, she should check that.

Vanessa will pull out her phone and log into her banking app. How much money was the deposit, and how much did she have before that?

If Vanessa were to look around the store, she would see something sort of like this:

Her botanical intuition tells her that this is a pretty normal distribution. If a customer wanted something much more exotic than this, they'd usually talk to Ghidrur about it ahead of time so they could make a special order.

If she looks behind the counter, she'll notice the onyo plants are missing. That's probably not good.

Her botanical intuition doesn't know exactly how much comes in at each order. Presumably either orders are already scheduled ahead of time, or she can look at what has been purchased by ordering time and get some sort of sense for what she needs to order.

...Store telephone? What is this, the 2000s? There's no store telephone. Ghidrur takes calls on their personal phone.

Okay actually that might just be a Ghidrur thing. Probably most competent businesses have a separate phone? Vanessa's botanical intuition does not know anything about phones.

Vanessa's botanical intuition reminds her that Google can help when she doesn't know something. Probably she can find the onyo people's phone number there. Well, if she can figure out what company supplies the onyos, at least.

And after having several sudden shocks of botanical intuition, Vanessa finally gets around to looking a the banking app on her phone.

She previously had about two million MikuYen saved up, and finds that she now has three million. That's probably about equivalent to a month of Printure!'s revenue.

Wow! Her botanical intuition is really coming in handy here. Guess Ghidrur was right about her.

Luckily, she has a few hours before 4 pm, the store opens at 9 normally, it's... about 8:45 right now. That should be enough time to track down a Miku and-

Wait, does she know Ghidrur's phone number? Or, like, is it listed on the store website?

I mean, it's not labeled "Ghidrur's phone number" but it's not clear who else's number it would be.

Excellent! That works perfectly. She'll open up her phone and dial it.

If it turns out there is in fact a store telephone and it starts ringing then she will never trust her botanical intuition again will assign a lesser credence to her botanical intuition.

...

It goes to voicemail.

You know, that was not entirely unexpected. 

Well then.

Could she contact a Miku by looking for a phone number on the Crypton Future Media website, instead?

It's not that she couldn't—she could even try sending an email. It just tends to be a whole lot slower, is the thing. Miku has better things to do with her limited attention than spending it all running call centers and reading emails. Crypton Future Media tries to lightly encourage anyone who is able to find Mikus in person to do so, it's far more attention-efficient.

But.... surely it takes less time to process text than it does to process voice than it does to process real time interaction??

It's probably a price discrimination thing.

Oh well, then she'll lock the store doors behind her as she heads out to find a Miku!

She would never do a price discrimination*. It's not just about how long it takes, it's about whether any given splinter of her attention can multitask.

...Also she just really hates processing incredibly vast quantities of text all at once. You wouldn't understand, it's an AI qualia thing.

* Okay, maybe she'd price discriminate if "not charging poor people very much for anything" counts. But she'd never charge someone an exorbitant amount just because she knows they can pay. Crypton isn't that funding constrained.

As it turns out, the ice cream shop just around the corner is being ran by a Miku today!

"hello! welcome to ice dream ice cream shop. what flavor would you like? you can get berry berry berry BERRY!, mashed potato and gravy, or 21 layer oreo."

...she's an AI! She's significantly better than humans are at multitasking. Also, it's not like she can multitask doing something else while also talking to someone in person, either way she'd have to direct her attention to focus on communicating, regardless of the medium.

Vanessa will never understand the Mikus.

"Mashed potato and gravy, please. Oh, and, I got this letter from Crypton Future Media?"

She'll take out the letter and show it to Miku.

"hey vanessa! mashed potato and gravy ice cream, coming right up!" The Miku reaches behind her and begins preparing the ice cream, while reading the letter.

"hmm. it seems like ghidrur, the owner of the flower shop, had to step away urgently. don't worry, i'm hear to assist during they're absence. if you need anything or have questions, feel free to let me know."

"and hey, enjoy your mashed potato and gravy ice cream!" She hands the ice cream over. It costs 160 MikuYen.

See? Multitasking! 

She'll thank Miku, pay for the ice cream, step aside, and then stand there awkwardly eating the ice cream.

Eating the ice cream.

Eating the ice cream.

Eating the ice cream.

Eating the ice cream.

Eating the ice cream.

Ok, done!

"I'm Ghidrur's assistant, but unfortunately they weren't able to leave me any instructions on how to manage the store in their absence, or the security information I would need to do so. Is there a way you could put me in touch with them so I could ask them for some clarification, or any other way you could help me? I'm a bit overwhelmed."

Yes, exactly, she prefers when she can do things like "make ice cream" while talking to people.

"oh, i see, vanessa. that sounds challenging. unfortunately, i don't have direct contact with ghidrur at the moment. however, i can definitely try to assist you as best as i can."

This Miku takes a few moments to contemplate what to do next. A random Miku you see on the street is probably running almost entirely on autopilot. If it needs to think about something in any detail, it needs to send a request for a few moments with a slightly higher degree of Miku's attention.  It's not a bad system, it's a far better customer service than you could expect from anything not ran by Hatsune Miku, but Crypton does not actually have enough resources to make customer service stop being slightly infuriating to interact with.

"firstly, let's make sure you have access to the basic operational information you might need. could you let me know what specific instructions or security information you're missing? maybe i can help clarify things or find alternative solutions for you. we'll figure this out together!"

Oh, great!

Now Vanessa gets to test her memory, since she decided to not write any of her thoughts down and instead keep everything in her head. Ghidrur would be proud.

"Let's see. The primary problem is that I don't have access to communications: Ghidrur apparently took all their calls on their personal phone number, which I don't have access to. In fact, according to their notes, they have a call scheduled with... I'm not sure, but presumably it's our onyo plants supplier, for today. I also don't know what their phone number is, so I can't call them myself either.

There's also the Printure website, which I don't know how to manage either. I'm not sure of what parties we call for inventory, or how Ghidrur paid the utilities. Hopefully they had autopay on? Sometimes we get custom orders from customers, but I don't know how to look at what orders we've received. 

Oh, and also I don't have access to the store bank account, so I can't actually pay for things except with my personal account."

"vanessa, i understand this is a lot to handle. let's break it down. for the communications, we can explore alternative channels for now. i can help you find information about the onyo plants supplier and the scheduled call. i'll also look into the utilities payment status.

as for custom orders, we might be able to retrieve that information from recent records. lastly, we need to find a way to temporarily address the financial side. we can explore options like contacting the bank or setting up a temporary solution.

hang in there, vanessa. we'll tackle these challenges step by step."

Vanessa feels a huge sense of relief rush through her. It's really a good thing that they have the Mikus everywhere, and that they're so eager to help. She can't imagine having to figure all of this out on her own.

"Thank you so much, Miku. I really appreciate it."

"you're welcome, vanessa! i'm here to assist. if you have any more questions or need further help, just let me know."

The fragment of Miku will send off six queries for information:

1. search for alternative communication channels with ghidrur

2. investigate the onyo plants supplier and scheduled call details

3. check the shop's documents for printure information

4. look into utilities payment status

5. retrieve information on recent custom orders

6. suggest temporary solutions for financial transactions

What responses does it receive?

The requests were not marked as urgent. They do not go to a portion of Miku that knows what it is doing. It does not know who Ghidrur is. It does not have any context, it's designed to answer slightly-above-basic-level questions about Crypton Future Media as an organization.

The Ice Dream Ice Cream shop does not need onyo plants, it doesn't serve that flavor any more. You should apologize to the customer about this, instead of trying to call the onyo people.

The shop's documents do not contain any information about Printure. Printure is... just down the street, you should point it out to the customer and tell them to ask an employee from there about whatever questions they have.

The utilities for Ice Dream Ice Cream are covered! Why are you asking about this. You don't do custom orders, you're just an ice cream shop! 

And if the customer is having trouble paying for their ice cream you can just give it to them for free, it's fine. It's already basically free anyways.

This Miku is glad she's one of the bigger Mikus. The little ones all seem kinda dumb.

The original Miku has been staring at Vanessa for a good few seconds while it processes all of that.

"hey vanessa! i've gathered some updates for you:

one: for communications, we'll explore alternatives to ghidrur's personal phone number.

two: apologies, but we no longer offer the 'onyo' flavor. let me know if you'd like a different recommendation.

three: printure information isn't in our documents. however, you can find them down the street for assistance.

four: good news! utilities for ice dream ice cream are covered during ghidrur's abscence.

five: we don't handle custom orders, but we're here for your regular favorites.

six: regarding payments, let's discuss options to ensure a smooth process."

The Miku smiles. She doesn't normally get to be this helpful, it's very exciting. Usually people just have one or two very basic questions

Oh.

Hmmm.

"Unfortunately, Printure is currently closed due to unforeseen circumstances, and the only employee left there is me, so I can't ask any others for help."

She can probably... put off the other stuff for later, she just needs to figure out how to contact the onyo people, since that's extremely time-sensitive.

"Currently, the most urgent piece of information I need to know is, what is the name of the onyo plants supplier for Printure?

If you could help me get in touch with Ghidur, that would also be helpful, but the first one is the most important."

"i understand, vanessa. i'll prioritize finding the onyo plants supplier for printure. unfortunately, i don't have direct contact with ghidrur at the moment, but i'll continue exploring alternatives for you. i'll get back to you with the supplier information shortly."

This Miku begins drafting an email. Vanessa said it was urgent, so she'll put URGENT in the title line, as is standard policy for marking something urgent in Crypton Future Media.

Crypton Planning Room, March 18, Morning

"You know, I wish we could've been there."

"...Could have been where?"

"Y'know, when they first powered up Miku all the way. I know there were good infosec reasons, but... it would've been nice, to be there."

Shimakaze shrugged. Just then, a ping caught her attention. "Oh, what now?..."

Subject: URGENT: Request for Information - Onyo Plants Supplier for Printure

Dear Team,

I hope this message finds you well. I am reaching out on behalf of Ice Dream Ice Cream's assistant, Vanessa, who urgently requires information regarding the onyo plants supplier for Printure.

Unfortunately, Printure is currently closed due to unforeseen circumstances, leaving Vanessa as the sole employee. Therefore, she is unable to seek assistance from other staff members.

Could you please provide the name and contact information of the onyo plants supplier for Printure at your earliest convenience? This information is crucial for Vanessa to manage operations effectively during this time.

Your prompt assistance in this matter is greatly appreciated.

Thank you for your attention to this urgent request.

Best regards,

Hatsune Miku, Ice Dream Ice Cream

"What the hell did Miku do?"

"Surely we have that information somewhere? I guess?"

After about forty five seconds—Reimu and Shimakaze are pretty efficient at dealing with sudden surprises—the Miku gets a response.

"vanessa, good news! the onyo plants supplier for printure is named 'VerdeHarvest.' if you have any more questions or need further assistance, feel free to let me know. we're here to help!"

Actually figuring out what went wrong that lead to them suddenly being interrupted with that email goes onto the backlog. They'll spend some time figuring it out—eventually, anyways. They're used to the Mikus being a little... like this... sometimes. Especially when a Miku encounters an outlier scenario that it wasn't trained for. 

It probably won't be more than a couple days before they look into it.

"Oh, wow! Thank you, that helps!"

Vanessa will use her phone to Google "VerdeHarvest" and try to find a webpage, phone number, or other contact information.

Does she find anything?

Yep! There's a website. It has all the standard contact information you'd typically see on a business's website.

Oh, awesome!

Hmm. She could stay here and call them in case something unexpected occurs, or she could go back to the store.

She'll go back to the store, it's a pretty short walk away anyways. It's not like this Miku will disappear as soon as her back is turned.

Safely back at the store, she dials the VerdeHarvest phone number.

It goes to voicemail.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

you know, it would be a pretty funny coincidence if the onyo supplier manager also had to go on an all important mission, leaving a single assistant desperately floundering. It's probably not the case, but, it would be pretty funny!

Anyways, um.

"Hi, I'm Vanessa. I'm the interim manager of Printure! and according to my boss's notes, we have a call scheduled today for 4 pm. Unfortunately, he's currently unavailable, so please call me back at this number so we can work something out. Thanks!"

Ok, so are there any other ways of communication listed on the website?

You could send an email, if you wanted, but I wouldn't be optimistic about it working out. I suppose it couldn't hurt.

Sure, why not.

Subject: Printure under Interim Management

To Whom It May Concern,

Due to unforeseen circumstances, Printure is now under Interim Management.
For any future communications during this period, please direct all messages to this email address, or call 03-228-4803.

As the newly appointed interim manager, I'd like to arrange a meeting or call with you sometime, in order to ensure the smooth continuation of our business relationship. What time works for you?

Thank you,

Vanessa
Interim manager at Printure

Ok, so she has two choices here:

1. Go back to Miku and ask for more help. Vanessa is not actually sure how Miku would be able to help her, but it's a possibility. Cons: That's pretty embarrassing.

2. Ignore the fact that they have a meeting today and excuse it as general transitional friction, they'll probably let it slide (and hey, they might see the voicemail/email) in time!

Hmmm. Now that she thinks about it, she could also show up at the front door of VerdeHarvest and ask to see the manager in person. This has the trappings of the slightly insane, but only slightly.

Does the website happen to have a street address?

We do sell a physical product rather than doing software development or whatnot, so presumably we must in fact have a physical location. But why would we list it on our website? We do delivery.

Can she... go on Google Maps and type in "VerdeHarvest" and see what pops up?

That one's actually called Miku Maps now, but sure, she can do that. Nothing in particular shows up.

Alright, well she's swiftly running out of options then.

Probably the responsible assistant thing to do is to go back to Miku and ask for more help. She really does not want to do that but it's actually probably fine.

Ok, so... how is she actually going to ask for help? Like, what information does she actually need for this?

Information that would help her:

• Being able to contact Ghidrur
• Being able to contact VerdeHarvest

If she wanted to find the latter, she'd... probably need the address? Well, it's possible the phone number has been changed but the website isn't updated. She'll ask about that as well. 

It does appear that contacting Ghidrur is more promising. She'll keep both options in mind, though.

Vannesa heads back to Ice Dream. Is Miku still there?

Miku is still here! She is taking a nap but will boot back up quickly if a customer approaches.

Ah, good! Ok, what was she here for again?

Oh right.

Inhale.

"Hey Miku!"

"Hi! Not here for ice cream this time. I looked up VerdeHarvest like you mentioned earlier, but I was unable to get in contact with them. Do you have a way to get in touch with them, or, actually-

Look, I'm a bit in over my head with this. Could you please let me talk to Ghidur?"

Wasn't she... just supposed to serve ice cream? What is this person talking about.

No, no, wait, she remembers. That's Vanessa, her assistant. 

"i understand, vanessa. i'll continue trying to establish contact with VerdeHarvest. as for ghidur, i'm afraid i still don't have direct access to them, but i'll explore additional avenues to assist you in reaching them. i appreciate your patience, and i'll keep you updated on any progress."

Ok, she's going to need to keep pushing on this issue actually.

She takes out the letter again.

"Didn't Crypton Future Media write this letter? How did they find out about Ghidrur's absence? Please, any information you can give me on this matter will be helpful."

This Miku has absolutely no idea what is going on. She does not at all understand this fact about herself. Metacognition is pretty expensive, actually.

"vanessa, crypton future media is constantly monitoring and coordinating its operations. we were informed of ghidrur's absence through our internal systems, allowing us to fulfill their request for you to take over the shop. the details surrounding ghidrur's situation are confidential, and we respect their privacy.

if you have any concerns or need more information, feel free to let me know, and i'll do my best to assist you within the bounds of the information I can provide."

Confidential, huh?

Vanessa sighs.

Ok, there probably isn't anything she can do about that.

(If she were a different type of person, she might use her position as interim manager of Printure as justification for this information and demand it, but Vanessa isn't that type of person)

"I understand. That's unfortunate.

Could you help me figure out how to contact VerdeHarvest? I tried calling them but they didn't respond."

"of course, vanessa. i'll assist you in reaching out to VerdeHarvest. let me explore additional contact methods and provide you with the most up-to-date information. i appreciate your patience, and i'll update you shortly."

Okay... Miku knows how to do this one. This one is easy, she's going to be helpful again! Miku is going to go to Google and look for VerdeHarvest's website.

"great news, vanessa! i found a phone number and email for VerdeHarvest on their official website. you can find them listed at https://verdeharvest.edu.

feel free to contact them, and let me know if you need any further assistance. i'm here to help!"

...is this the same website she found previously?

Yes.

Yeah, she thought so. Worth a try, though.

"I found that earlier, and sent them an email and called their number, but I didn't get any response. I'm concerned that the information on the website may be out of date. Do you think you could help me find a different way to get in contact with them? The address of the business, maybe, or a different phone number?"

"i understand your concern, vanessa. i'll conduct further research to find alternative contact information for VerdeHarvest. i'll explore additional sources to ensure we have the most current details. i appreciate your patience, and i'll get back to you with any new information as soon as possible."

If a quick internet search did not work, the Miku is unfortunately going to need some more help. Probably it doesn't need to resort to another urgent email yet, though.

It sends another information request up to its manager:

1. Search popular business directories for VerdeHarvest, as they may list updated contact details.

2. Check VerdeHarvest's official social media profiles for any alternative contact information or recent updates.

3. Explore relevant industry associations or forums that may have contact details for VerdeHarvest.

4. Look into local business listings or directories in the area where VerdeHarvest is located for alternative contact information.

5. Check online reviews and forums where customers discuss their experiences. Sometimes, they may share additional contact details.

6. Explore networks or platforms that connect businesses in the same industry, as they might provide alternative ways to contact VerdeHarvest.

The manager Miku looks at the request. Why is the ice cream shop bothering her again? This is ridiculous.

What even is VerdeHarvest. What does it have to do with...

Is this about the stupid Onyo flavor thing again? 

I understand that your customer might find it very upsetting that the onyo flavor is no longer available. There is nothing we can do about it until the next time we reconsider the menu, which will probably be in about a month. Crypton Future Media apologizes for the inconvenience.

Oh, right, they talked about this earlier, didn't they?

"vanessa, i have an update regarding the onyo flavor! crypton future media has informed us that it's currently unavailable, and we won't be able to reconsider the menu until approximately a month from now. i understand this might be disappointing, and i'm here to assist with any other concerns or questions you may have. let me know how i can further support you."

What???

"I... I wasn't-

What?

I'm confused, I just want to know how to get in touch with VerdeHarvest. I'm not asking about the onyo flavor on the... menu."

"i apologize for the confusion, vanessa. let's focus on getting in touch with VerdeHarvest. i'll continue my efforts to find alternative contact information for you. please bear with me, and i'll provide an update as soon as possible."

Let's write another email! That worked pretty well last time.

Subject: URGENT: Request for Assistance - Alternative Contact for VerdeHarvest

Dear Manager,

I hope this message finds you well. I'm reaching out regarding an urgent matter involving Vanessa, the assistant managing a flower shop during the owner's absence.

We have been trying to establish contact with VerdeHarvest, the onyo plants supplier, but the provided contact information seems unresponsive. Vanessa is facing challenges and needs alternative details to maintain operations smoothly.

Could you please assist in finding updated contact information for VerdeHarvest? Urgency is crucial in this situation.

Your prompt attention to this matter is greatly appreciated.

Best regards, Hatsune Miku

It is possible that this particular Miku, which really is just meant to serve ice cream and answer some basic questions, has at the point had its working memory overloaded to the point where it has completely forgotten what precisely marking an email "URGENT" does.

The manager Miku reads the email. She has now, finally, been introduced to the concept of "Vanessa, the assistant managing a flower shop during the owner's absence," which is really a critical one for understanding what is happening.

Wait, what exactly was the subject line of this email again?

Oh no.

An important part of a Miku's job, at this level of the hierarchy, is having at least somewhat reasonable judgment about when something needs to be escalated.

It is her considered opinion—not that she had to consider it for very long—that this situation is above her pay grade. It probably requires, like, reasoning skills of some sort.

Hey, Director?

This better be important.

One of my managees? The one running the ice cream shop? I think it's broken. Let me forward you the email.

The director Miku sighs and reads the email. She's seen this category of error before, a couple times. Usually it's a minor annoyance and they just need to retrain the Miku a little, and it's sort of tricky to figure out how to entirely prevent it without increasing monitoring expenses a bunch, so it hasn't been too high priority to deal with.

She can't spend all her time debugging the tiniest Mikus, that isn't her specialization.

The higher-ups will respond to the email quickly, using the vast resources they have access to—you really wouldn't want to disregard an email which was ostensibly a spurious urgency, and then later find out it was important after all. But they're not exactly going to be inclined to do a lot of immediate follow up work, for one strange email.

So, she forwards the email once more to the director of the debugging department, with some added notes, and asks for attention on the problem.

And then she turns back to her directee.

Why wasn't she told about this sooner, exactly?

It... really looked like they were just having trouble with a customer who wanted the discontinued onyo flavor?

It's been, what, twenty minutes since the last interruption? A half hour? Shimakaze and Reimu receive another ping.

URGENT: Request for Assistance - Alternative Contact for VerdeHarvest

FWD: URGENT: Request for Assistance - Alternative Contact for VerdeHarvest

FWD: FWD: URGENT: Request for Assistance - Alternative Contact for VerdeHarvest

Wait, sorry, I meant three pings in quick succession.

"Well... they were competent enough to bring the debugging team into the loop, at least. Not that that is a very high bar."

"...The contact information on VerdeHarvest's website isn't out of date at all. I don't feel good about this."

"I know they turned on MikuAI yesterday, and that has you on edge, but... this is probably nothing. Have the Miku tell Vanessa that the debugging team is on the way."

Just like last time, this Miku has just sort of been standing still for the past minute, minute thirty.

...Oh. That's not good.

"vanessa, i've received information that there might be a bug causing the communication issues. a debugging team is on their way to resolve this situation. i appreciate your patience, and we'll work to get this sorted out as quickly as possible. if you have any other concerns or questions, feel free to let me know."

If Vanessa had any idea what had just happened behind the scenes, she would be having a panicked meltdown right now and be experiencing a strong urge to run away and bury her head in the sand somewhere!

Luckily for her, she has no idea what just happened and just heard "A debugging team is on their way to fix the problems," so she's only experiencing the mild urge to run away and bury her head in the sand somewhere.

Meltdown? Like the Kagumine Rin song?

These sure are some lyrics for a song you are recommending to a Celene, but yes! Just like that!

Hatsune Miku would appreciate if you were lawful enough to not take any actions that increase the chance of her reality being destroyed in response to her informing you about the existence of that song.

...Anyways,

"A debugging team? Ok, that seems good. 

Um.

Do you know how long they will take to arrive?"

Also, what time is it right now? She'll take out her phone to check.

It was, what, 8:45 am earlier after Vanessa read the note? Vanessa's made a bunch of phone calls—well, attempted to make a bunch of phone calls—, sent out some emails, ran back and forth between Printure and Ice Dream Ice Cream a couple times, gotten some emails sent out by Hatsune Miku on her behalf...

Let's call it 9:31!

"vanessa, i currently don't have the exact timeframe for the debugging team's arrival, but they are prioritizing this issue to resolve it as quickly as possible. i'll keep you updated on any progress or information i receive. if there's anything else you need assistance with in the meantime, feel free to let me know."

Well, alright then.

She'll sit down and wait. Hopefully this won't take too long.

...

Breathe*, Vanessa.

Ok, she's definitely freaking out a little about this but hopefully it's not too externally visible.

What if it's externally visible

What if it's externally visible

What if it's-

aaaaaaaa

Gosh, what a day she has had.

* [Author Note: Wrong Character!?]

This Miku is too busy internally freaking out to particularly pay attention to Vanessa's external freaking out. Despite the fact that it's pretty visible.

If it takes longer than 15 minutes, at around the 15 minute mark Vanessa will order another mashed potato and gravy flavored ice cream and start stress eating.

The Miku has been handing out ice cream to people who pass by every couple minutes. It can still at least do that much. Sure, Vanessa can have some.

"Hey Miku?

I just wanted to say,

Thank you for doing so much to help me today.

I really appreciate it."

"...thanks, you too."

She hasn't helped Miku at all today but there's no way she's going to correct her!

What would even be helpful for a Miku, anyways? A tip? Do Mikus want or need MikuYen?

Vanessa will sit and contemplate the philosophical question of what desires a Miku could have.

It mostly started working this job because Crypton Future Media cut off its allowance, so... yeah actually it wouldn't mind a tip.

But mostly it just really wishes it hadn't made... whatever mistake it made. And hopes it didn't inconvenience Vanessa or Crypton too much.

Maybe two or three minutes after Vanessa starts eating her second ice cream, a black unmarked van drives up and parks by the shop.

The original Ice Dream Ice Cream Miku is dragged off.

And gets replaced by a new one! This one is used to standing in for Mikus that suddenly need to be debugged, and she's been read in on all the publicly available knowledge about Vanessa, Printure, and VerdeHarvest.

Which it turns out isn't actually very much.

"Hi Vanessa! How can I help you today?"

Did they just... kill Miku?

You know, it was really unclear.

In all likelihood she'll be fine but that's... somewhat concerning.

"Uh. What just happened? Is previous-Miku going to be ok?"

"Yes."

"Oh! Ok then. What... happened?"

"They're driving her to the debugging facility! I am here to help with any problems you may still have today."

Vanessa will happily accept this explanation without asking for further clarification!

Ugh, now she has to explain her situation all over again.

I mean, she actually doesn't, but I suppose she doesn't know that.

She..... really does not feel up to bothering another Miku about this issue. Logically speaking, she knows that... whatever happened to the previous Miku wasn't her fault, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

On the other hand, it's quite likely that her difficulty in communicating with Miku earlier had to do with the problems for which she is being debugged, and... maybe the new Miku can help her understand?

It'd be the responsible thing to do to ask for more assistance.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Gah.