His next lucid moment... doesn't appear to be in Mandos, nor reëmbodied in Valinor.

"This court is now in session, in the matter of In re Fëanáro Curufinwë.

"Do you know where you are?"

It's not like he knows what Mandos looks like from the inside, anyway.  They'd never let him visit.

"Well, I'm guessing you're the Doomsman and Judge."

"I'm a judge, let me see... ah yes, I see you're here for our afterlife exchange program.

"Here's the deal: the gods who operated your afterlife found you in some way incompatible with their goals, but also found it undesirable to leave you in stasis for eternity. Since we're set up for such a wide range of petitioners, we're a common choice for a fallback afterlife.

"There are nine destinations for petitioners in our system, and the purpose of this trial is to sort you into one of those destinations, based on your inclinations with regard to Law vs. Chaos and Good vs. Evil.

"I need to ask you some questions so we can proceed—does it sound to you like we are speaking in a language you understand, using words that you are familiar with, at a speaking speed you can follow?"

Oh.

He's gotten away from the Valar.  Farther away than he'd ever thought was possible!  Even if he never gets back - he never expected to get out of the Everlasting Darkness, or even be let out of Mandos, anyway.

He smiles.  There'll be a lot more to find out soon, but to start with -

"Yes!  In fact, you're using exactly the phonemes and phraseology I've advocated!  Where did you learn your Quenya?"

"There's a magical effect in place that renders all speech in the native language of the listener. Do you understand that you had, while alive, the capacity to take actions, and that those actions had effects on the world and on other people?"

"That's horrible magic!  How can anyone talk about languages that way!?

"... Though even so, I'm curious.  Suppose my father were here.  Our language has changed significantly during his life; would he be hearing Primitive Eldarin, or the most modern Quenya, or something in-between?"

"Well, since it's unlikely that all of us speak any languages in common, more easily than if it weren't present. People who speak more than one language hear the one they are most comfortable with.

"I do need to know if you understand that you had the capacity to take actions which had effects on the world and on other people."

During that last sentence, Fëanor is trying to tell himself that, really, he'd be more comfortable if this transcendental being was speaking Valarin.

(It doesn't work.)

"See, that's a horrible thing about this translation magic!  You don't get to learn each other's languages!  Even though you've been working together for - how long? - you still don't know them!"

"I don't think any of us have met before? I could be wrong. Look, I need you to answer that question and one more so we can get started."

Fëanor sighs.  He has learned something from having to deal with the Valar and Fingolfin and all the Noldor and the Sindar - sometimes you should talk about what they want to talk about.  And he should probably give this new judge half a chance before treating him like the Valar.

Even if he has to do it under a translation spell.

He answers in the Mithrim dialect of Sindarin, "I have definitely taken many actions, and -" (he switches to a version of Quenya with various rejected vowel-shifts) "- despite many obstacles - sometimes I have managed to -" (he switches to Valarin) "- have effects on the world."  (He switches to his best try at a Doriathin dialect of Sindarin.)  "And on some people."

(Though not on all the people he wanted to.)

"Thank you. Do you understand that the purpose of this court is to determine your alignment and which afterlife you are assigned to?"

He would cross his arms, except he doesn't have any arms here.

"You mean you assign me?  I don't get to choose?  And what's an alignment?"

This is starting to feel uncomfortably like Mandos after all.

"The purpose of this court is to decide with which alignment the actions you took during your life best cohere. There are nine alignments, each of which is identified with one of Lawful, Neutral, or Chaotic, and one of Good, Neutral, or Evil. Each alignment may send a representative to make the case for their afterlife, and as you can see you have eight lawyers present, and myself who acts as both judge and representative for the ninth afterlife. You may speak as to your decisions and reasoning behind those decisions, and we will take that into account.

"Now that we've concluded initial questioning, we can begin discussion—I know there's a lot of stuff in the last few years of this petitioners' life but let's try to go chronologically, if we can."

"I have a jurisdictional objection. The petitioner is from a completely different—everything—subjecting them to the possibility of the Evil afterlives is supremely unfair, they have no context for these decisions, and even if that weren't true we'd still lack the capacity to fairly judge them given that all of our precedents are designed for different contexts. Going all the way back! Furthermore we're relying on secondhand reports of unknown veracity, and lack direct fact finding ability. The whole exchange program is a horrible idea and we might as well let the petitioner choose their own destination."

"We have jurisdiction because the Court that does have normal jurisdiction over this petitioner has entrusted it to us.  If you object that the petitioner has no context for risking the Evil afterlives, then surely that objection would apply with all the greater force against his choosing his own destination, and we should - as usual - choose the destination that would best suit him.

"And I see no problem with applying our precedents to him.  Of course, some will need to be adjusted in details, but little more so than is normal for applying precedents to a different planet and species."

Abaddon's representative looks over from the corner in which they're lurking.

"Hey, objection!  Why're you saying it's unfair for him to have a chance of getting us Evil planes?"

"I concur with Axis and Abaddon, not to mention that no one gets a choice to exist in Pharasma's creation in the first place. It may be unfair but it's not unfairly unfair."

"Jurisdictional objection overruled. Elysium objected to the creation of this program, but a random trial that's a part of it is not the place to relitigate it."

"Moving on to the actions of the petitioner—ran away from home at a young age. Certainly a chaotic act, abdicating the traditional responsibilities of royalty."

The Maelstrom's representative, who looks like someone's glued together body parts from a dragon and horse and goat and lion, throws up his hands in glee.  "And he kept abandoning those responsibilities all along, and most of the social expectations of royalty too, for the things he wanted to do!  And then he refused the orders of the local gods themselves!  And introduced war practices never before seen in his world!  And I didn't even mention that he burnt the ships!  Totally chaotic!"

When you list it all like that... Fëanor hadn't thought of those actions in the same bucket before.  Some of them he's proud of; some of them (like abandoning the royal responsibilities to Fingolfin) he's since seen some disadvantages of but can't really regret; some of them (like the Kinslaying) he wishes could've turned out some other way.

But now he is seeing a common tierod after all.  "I did what I had to do when the world pushed me and wouldn't bend."

"That's the essence of Law!  He was true to his own nature!"

"Abandoning responsibilities is only chaotic if he did so in a chaotic manner, many societies have lawful ways of abandoning responsibilities. I think the key to this is going to come down to—how much of the responsibilities were enshrined in law rather than social convention? To what degree were his actions in war contravening norms of battle versus simply doing new things? To what degree was he, as king, lawfully subservient to the local gods? It isn't unlawful to ignore the commandment of a god, The Abyss v. Sarenrae, -7308, not even to ignore a lawful or good god, Erastil v. Sarenrae, -6593."

"A society that don't have an explicit law/custom distinction doesn't get to have all its members declared lawful for not technically breaking the law."

"Maelstrom, Heaven, please let's try to go chronologically. I know there's a lot of interesting stuff late in life but let's try to assess the petitioner's behavior prior to those, so we have a baseline for those later actions."

"And I say he violated all that social convention and law!  Even early on!  He ran away from all his responsibilities!  He threw aside his father's wishes!  He refused to recognize his evil step -"

He grins and shrugs.  "I mean, his Lawful stepmother.  Though I suppose she's somewhat Chaotic herself, what with her romancing a man who was still officially monogomously married at the time.  But either way, the petitioner refused to give her any honor or recognition."

Feanor is starting to like this snake-horse person.  Though if Indis is Chaotic, maybe he wants to be firmly Lawful.

"We're arguing Law-Chaos first?  Wake me up when that's over."

The large fluffy dog sitting in for Nirvana snorts at Abaddon.

"I agree with Elysium here that to a large extent, Petitioner's society does not have a clear Law-Custom distinction.  But that means that most of his actions cannot count for anything on the Law-Chaos axis, unless we can point to a specific law they were conforming to or violating.  In re Coates:  a law must be specific and clear as a law."

"Wake me up when we get past this early life crap. The petitioner is obviously lawful no matter what they got up to in their carefree youth.”

Hell’s advocate doesn’t even feign tiredness, merely boredom.

Elysium shoots Heaven a glance that reads, 'See this guy? Careful with arguing for Lawful before we establish not Evil' 

"There’s other conceptions of Lawfulness besides obeying regulation—coöperation via predictability, for example, and you’ll note the petitioner took no actions towards establishing predictability for that purpose, or seeking out the opportunity to create lawful environments or precedents out of chaos, which the petitioner also did not try to do."

Fëanor still isn't sure whether he wants to be Lawful or Chaotic, but that feels like an insult.

"But I couldn't create any new environments till I got out of Valinor!"

"And Petitioner has in fact been working toward that ever since he realized he was not suited for Valinor - and before then, he was traveling around looking for a better environment within Valinor."

"Yes, the petitioner sought out new environments within and without Valinor, but not for the purposes of establishing lawfulness out of chaos, but rather for personal freedom from a cultural system that he struggled to thrive in. That’s chaotic, not lawful."

"Ah, now we get to the important part—he attempted to do so, and did so, first as a prince and then as a king. In a sense it was because he wanted freedom, but not as an individual but as a nation. Circumstance put him at the top, but Asmodeus is hardly less lawful than the lowest Imp."

"What, are you saying every revolutionary around is Lawful as long as they're planning to be a king at the end of things?"

"But establishing a new country is not necessarily the same thing as being a revolutionary.  In re Michelsen et al.  Petitioner did not levy violence against, or overthrow, the established government."

"You're just forgetting the time he launched a coup and overthrew the king?  Against the orders of the gods, I might add!"

"Fingolfin wasn't the king!  And of course I wasn't caring about the Valar!"

"Alright, let's dig into the succession of the Noldor. I want to point out a number of things, here. First, the petitioner had already received a verbal guarantee from the other candidate for the throne that his right to it would be respected. Second, civil wars are rarely defused by the most legitimate candidate—and there's lots of precedent for eldest sons of hereditary monarchs being the most legitimate—sitting it out. Those two are arguments against the succession madness being evidence for Chaos. Thirdly, the petitioner didn't actually enjoy politics or rulership, and took up the throne out of a duty to his people—clearly a Lawful impulse."

"Are the Noldor considered a hereditary monarchy? There'd never been a succession before—not even just of the Noldor, in the entire world—and the initial monarch was chosen via acclamation. I don't think the reasoning in the precedents applies."

"Also, 'duty to his people'? That's bull. He did it to gain a tool for his revenge, and last I checked—Calistria is chaotic, not lawful!"

"No!  I took the crown because it was mine!  To get back my Silmarils, too - but they were all mine!

"Like the... red person with horns from Hell; do you have a name in your language for your sort of person?... but like you say, I didn't particularly like the kingship, but it was mine once my father had died, and I wasn't going to leave it for someone else who didn't have a rightful claim to it."

"Really?  Were you going to just let Morgoth go if he gave back your shiny rocks?"

"Shiny rocks?  No!  They're not just random polished pebbles like the Teleri have!  They're perfectly carved to hold and reflect the Light of Lights!  For both beauty and magic!"

"War is certainly a regrettable thing - even when it is a Good war against Evil - but this Court has often held it to not be a determining factor in Law versus Chaos.  See, for example, Iomedae v. Deskari; Iomedae v. Erastil; Iomedae v. Sarenrae."

"But the petitioner’s motivations for the war can be classified as Lawful or Chaotic. So far the motivations suggested are revenge, duty, and enforcement of property rights. That’s two to one in Law’s favor."

"Freedom was also a motivation, so that’s actually a tie. Additionally, motivation is secondary to act. The petitioner’s acts show a much more significant Chaotic bent—defying the rulers of the land he lived in, attacking a neutral group for failing to aid him, abandoning half of the people to which you claim he was acting out of duty."

"The latter two acts are also Evil, by the way! If we want to get into that."

"That presupposes the Valar were the rulers of his country.  They never claimed to rule over his people.  Perhaps they claimed the land, but in that sense, he was quite Lawfully trying to get out of that land as quickly as he could.  We have never claimed that Law demands gods be obeyed simply because they are gods."

"But then what about that whole thing where the Valar tried to exile the petitioner?  Seems to me they were definitely claiming to rule him then!  It's like that whole thing Asmodeus has running for him in Cheliax - you ask if he's the government or that human queen is, and the only real answer's 'yes.'"