"Hi," says this guy who's just moved over to her. "You look a bit lost. Welcome to Milliways. If you are not, in fact lost, feel free to tell me to bugger off. Otherwise, I am totally willing to play not-really-tour-guide." He's smiling brightly.

"Really, sir?" the woman trailing him says, and there's the suggestion that there should be a sigh on that statement, but it isn't there.

"Yeah, I'm lost. This is supposed to be a shrine somewhere near Fort Hateno I thought?"

"Never heard of it," he says with a cheerful grin. "But that seems to be a general thing with Milliways. I probably only recognise half the places people are from. Epime here does better, but that's still with earth places."

After a second, he offers his hand. "I'm 'Sidora, by the way. This is Epime." He gestures to the woman beside him. "And 'Metheus is around somewhere as well."

"What sir is failing to say," Epime says, shaking her head slightly, "is that Milliways is...a meeting point of dimensions as far as we can tell. People get a door, or come in through the forest. It confuses most people the first time they encounter it. Oh. And if there is something time-critical you are required to attend to, it would do to be aware that we do appear to be outwith time currently. Or rather, you will return to your own universe at the same moment you left it. If you have any further questions, you would be much better referring them to Bar. My understanding is incomplete at best."

"If time's not passing outside, I could certainly use the break."

Click, click, click on her tablet thing. "Tower not found. Yep, we're not in Hyrule anymore..." Click, click, tap. The shield and bow strapped to her back disappear with a little burst of light. The sword stays. "...What's with your ears?"

"...Where did your weapons just go, ma'am?" Epime takes half a step backwards, eyes narrowing (not quite right, the skin around her eyes doesn't quite respond correctly).

"...Ears?" 'Sidora is confused, and immediately reaches for his ears. "Is there something wrong with them? I mean, they're normal human shaped, I think? For our earth at least..."

"You two look Hylian, but you have, like, Goron or Rito ears." Her own, pointy ones, twitch again as she gestures at them. "Guess it's just different. And, I have no idea how the Sheikah Slate works. It calls that glowy taking thing 'inventory' though. It's handy."

"Ooh, expressive ears. Neat. I mean...obviously you're used to them, and that sounded really awful, but like...that's a new thing for me? Epime, you could do me a favour and shut me up any time you know?"

"Where on earth would the fun in that be, sir?" Epime asks. (There's a tension there suddenly, between both of them, that isn't entirely easy to parse.)

Epime, however, turns her attention to the 'Sheikah Slate'. "Fascinating. Useful as well, I imagine."

"Did someone say 'inexplainable tech'?" a voice heralds the arrival of someone who, from the way 'Sidora sighs and shakes his head, is probably ''Metheus'.

"Of course you turn up when you think that there is potential science to be done. It is not polite to lead with that. Behave."

"It's going to be strange talking to you guys. I'm never any good at reading Goron emotions, 'cause they don't do the ear thing and they don't even have much body language, and this feels a bit like that. Interested in the tech? It's relatively fine. Purah spent hours poking the Slate when I first met her. Not handing it over for good though, I kinda need it. And I don't think it likes anyone but me very much. This place is pretty weird even by my standards..."

"Sir does telegraph his emotional state fairly clearly," Epime says. "But if you are unsure how to take something, do ask. He does sometimes forget that not everyone is as light-hearted as he portrays himself as."

"I am that light-hearted!" 'Sidora defends himself, leaning briefly against Epime. "Do you mind if I try to figure out what your ears mean about your-" he waves a hand. "Feelings on something?"

'Metheus is staring at the Sheikah Slate. "Well of course I would not keep it! I just wish to see how it works. Once I know that, I can work on replicating it without a need for the original. Besides which, the original is yours. It would be theft to remove it from you."

"I kinda can't talk to three of you at once. Here's the slate - don't go anywhere with it - and I don't mind you looking at my ears." They're pointing up and moving back and forth a little bit now.

"I can stay right here," 'Metheus assures her, and then falls silent, scrutinising the tablet - although there is a clicking sound somewhere near his eyes that suggests it's more than just average vision he's using.

This tablet is made of some kind of super-alloy! What it returns to any scans corresponds to no known material. It also declares 'Unauthorized user. Advanced functions disabled.'

Ears flare a bit and point back. "...Do you guys have tech in your bodies?"

"Error:" Epime says blandly, mechanically. "Parameters incorrect. We are technology."

"That doesn't look like a good reaction," 'Sidora grimaces.

"Epime and 'Metheus are AIs," he explains. "Artificial intelligences. They have mechanical 'bodies' to be able to interact more with the physical world - and trust me, that is useful. There are some...fairly massive constraints in place on them." He doesn't seem entirely happy about the latter.

The ears stay back. Her hand clenches and unclenches near the hilt of that sword. "...Uh. Okay. When I say 'tech' it means 'really cool incomprehensible stuff built ten thousand years ago'. Or the Guardians, Ganon's pet killbots that menace everyone they find. You're totally not Guardians, so just give me a sec to keep telling myself that?"

"Epime and 'Metheus were created by my parents, so not ten thousand years old. And...well. They're certainly not killbots." He is wise enough to not mention that they are capable of killing, but it is highly controlled. They can't even call him by name any more. "Um. They can go elsewhere if you'd be more comfortable? They won't mind. They know that people tend to be a bit uncomfortable around them."

"Ganon? Uh- If it's okay to ask? And...I just realised I didn't get your name? If you're comfortable telling me that is? I know some people aren't as open with that as we- I am." There's an apology in that last part, quite obviously partially aimed at Epime and 'Metheus.

"It's fine. I mean. Guardians are the size of a house. Sorry for freaking out. I'm Link... I think. And Ganon is an evil god, more or less."

"Don't be. Obviously you don't have great experiences with...if not AIs, then something very similar. And if nothing else, you've probably bought 'Metheus' eternal gratitude by letting him scan your...tablet, uh, Slate? He's pretty loyal to anyone who let's him do science on stuff."

('Metheus appears to still be busy scrutinizing the Slate. Epime is silent now.)

"Sounds horrible." Pauses, looks Link up and down. "You're trying to stop him aren't you?"

The armor and weapons make her pretty clearly some kind of soldier or adventurer. 

"Yep. Maybe something here can even help."

"A lot of people around here are willing to talk. And there's probably someone who has experience dealing with something similar..."

'Metheus interrupts at that point. "Scans inconclusive," he announces. "I can tell that it is formed of a super-alloy, but it appears to be blocking my other scans. I suspect it does not like an...unknown technology probing it. Fascinating."

"Oh, I have a plan and allies. And Sheikah stuff is like that. Obstinate even when it's cooperating."

"I like it," 'Metheus decides. "It is impressive. Almost like it is able to reason like myself and Epimetheus. But...not. It is very different."

"You can never have too many allies," Epime asserts. "Although only if you can be certain of those allies. I must note that I am referring to people you may meet here, rather than people you have already met. I trust, given your goal, that you are sure enough of your allies. Regardless, any advice may provide further options for any already certain points of your plan."

"I still need to get the Master Sword, that's one of the last big pieces. It's 'the blade with the power that seals the darkness'. Trick is, it'll kill me if I'm not 'mighty enough' to wield it, and I don't know how mighty 'mighty enough' is."

"That is like...the most unhelpful instruction ever. Did they previously have a proper measure for what was and wasn't mighty? A checklist of things you had to do to prove your worth? Uh...I assume if you actually knew that, your task would be a whole hell of a lot easier?"

"One of the old spirits says he can feel how 'ready' I am. There's these... Weird empowering things, from old Sheikah shrines, and I think once I find a few dozen of them I'll definitely be strong enough. I've found thirteen so far."

"Which would be why you were looking for a shrine when you found Milliways instead? How easy are these things to find? I mean...they can't be simple to find, or everyone would be doing it? Maybe?"

"The slate points the way if I get close. Some of them are right next to big trails, most of them are halfway up a cliff face or hidden in a mountain cave or something."

"Fascinating," 'Metheus says again. "So it acts as a map and navigation system for yourself? Did it already have all the information present when you received it? Or does it require you to explore an area in order to be able to provide you with directions?"

"I have to get to these towers with sort of - terminals - on top. They load the map in. It's just too bad that most of the towers have Ganon's monsters camped out at the base, isn't it? But enough about me, what're you guys here for?"

What little expression Epime and 'Metheus had on their faces vanishes into too-blank facades. 'Sidora is looking away.

"Avoiding the powers that be of our world," he explains, rubbing the palms of his hands together. "They- had ideas about... editing Epime and 'Metheus." He sounds a little bit lost there. Then he adds, somewhat quieter, "And trying to think of a way to fix something broken." Quieter still: "Something we broke."

"...Yikes. If someone were gonna change my brain I'd run too."

"Hey, take a look at this." She snatches the Slate and tabs over to Inventory (which lights up again as soon as she touches it), and selects the 'Giant Ancient Core'. One appears in her arms. It's a hunk of metal about as long as one's forearm. "I can't make heads or tails of this thing, and all the Hateno researchers would tell me is that they don't really need it, but you might like it Metheus. Got it from the innards of a dead Guardian."

'Metheus doesn't quite pounce on the item. He does manage to convey his excitement. There's that same click near his eyes, and then he's silent.

Epime posture seems to relax - as much as a stiff mechanical body could.

"You mentioned that Guardians were as big as a house? And then you say that you got this from the innards of one? I assume you were the one who took it out?"

"Well, it was pretty well blown up by then."

"Quite impressive if you did take something you claim as a killbot. Although I assume that as with anything there is a specific strategy that allows for their defeat. I have found that once you apply a little tactical analysis to a situation, it becomes much easier. Do they learn from your attempts against them?"

"They don't seem to. If you can close in and hack off a couple of legs, then stay close under the cannon you can hack away until it dies... Or if you have a shield or weapon that uses the same tech, and time it just right, you can reflect the explodey beams. Make them fall on their own sword."

Epime is giving something approximating a smile, and 'Sidora looks impressed. "Most of the time if we came up against something bigger than us we called in the heavy artillery. Although I suppose that isn't an option for yourself?"

"Analysis complete," comes from Prometheus at that point, in a voice that isn't quite his own. "Fascinating," he says - apparently, this is his favourite word - sounding a lot more like himself. "Given the presence of, forgive the term, rudimentary weapons such as swords in your arsenal, I would not have anticipated fusion reactors to be present in your world, least of all ones as compact as this. It has a rather impressive power capacity as well. It could easily supply the power needs of a few dozen homes."

"Yeah, I nearly died. And the closest thing to - artillery - gosh that's a weird word, I have is bomb arrows. And nobody knows how to make Sheikah stuff anymore, so..."

"Bomb arrows?" Prometheus sounds almost excited.

"No!" both Epime and 'Sidora say at the same time.

"And you wonder why people liken you to a mad scientist," Epime continues, shaking her head. "Artillery for us was any of tank weapons," she holds out her hand to provide a holographic display of a tank. "Anti-aircraft weapons," the image changes, "or air support," the image changes again to an aircraft.

"Was there some variety of extinction event?" she then asks, honestly curious as to the loss of technology.

"...They're just bombs strapped to arrows, you light the fuse and let fly. Not more Sheikah tech. Though you might like the void arrows, they are Sheikah tech. And, yeah, a hundred years ago Calamity Ganon returned. But Sheikah stuff is older than that, nobody knows why they went away but Ganon's high on the list of theories. Your weapons all remind me of Guardians, which is fair enough I guess."

"Just because it is less technologically advanced does not make it any less interesting," 'Metheus says, holding up one finger. "It is interesting to see how different people approach and solve problems. May I inquire as to what void arrows are and what they do?"

"Most of the tech Epime just showed you is now obsolete and being repurposed to less...violent purposes."

"Purah makes void arrows from Guardian parts. They explode, sort of, but with a creepy sound. And they more or less delete everything within five feet of the impact point. Good to hear that you can repurpose weapons like that. Means you might not need them anymore."

"We don't," he doesn't sound as happy about that as you'd think someone talking about a lack of need for warmachines would.

"...And that's bad?"

"I suspect you do not know the story of Pandora's box," Epime says carefully. "The gods created Pandora, the first woman, and gave her a box, telling her to never open it. Curiosity however overcame her, and she opened it unleashing all evil onto the world. But also hope." She falls silent, although it doesn't look entirely willing.

'Sidora sighs and takes over. "I'll spare you the exact science, but we managed to create a device to extract the essence of evil. Give or take. And it worked. Crime rates plummeted, mortality rates, wars seemed to peter out." He pauses, rubbing his hands over his face. "It took us a little while to realise that the near utopia we had created wasn't what we wanted. There was no hope left. No dreams. It's strange to think that such a seemingly small thing makes all the difference to the world. Everything felt...stagnant."

"Okay that. Is about the creepiest thing I have ever heard? ...It implies that Ganon, who is basically the essence of evil, is necessary??? To drive us forward or something?"

"It might be different for your world. And...Like. I don't know if it was the evil we needed. I don't have exact maths on any of this. It might be that we needed something to strive against - and if that is the case it may explain the seeming reappearance of Ganon in your world after a period of him not being around? I might be hearing what you're saying wrong. Or maybe we did trap something else when we got rid of evil and that's the cause? I don't even know what the right thing to do is any more. Because maybe humanity needed to figure out how to solve this without my intervention?"

"Ganon does seem to always come back eventually no matter how often he's sealed. But I try to leave this philosophical stuff to the princess. She seems to know what she's talking about, I'm just a knight."

"...Wait. I remembered something else about the princess! Progress!"

"...I am going to assume that lack of knowledge about this princess has been an ongoing thing rather than simple absent mindedness? Uh. No offence. I would also dispute 'just' if you're the knight they're trusting to resolve the issue?"

"I died fighting Ganon a hundred years ago. They put me in the Shrine of Resurrection. Woke up one year ago. Apparently... It couldn't resurrect all my memories. And it's not so much trusting me to resolve the issue as me being the only one who has any chance of taking it on at all."

"Well. I suppose recovering memories would be more complicated in a biological computer such as the brain rather than an electronic one... Uh, sorry, that is a rather crass way of looking at it. And...well, you already have experience fighting Ganon, it would make sense to have you do it again. But if your memories aren't all there, do you have the information you need?"

She sighs and the ears droop as much as they ever have. "Well, what went wrong last time has been patched. I remember the most important bits of the plan. Circumstances... Are different, but it should still work. The princess is - infused with holy power, or something along those lines, and I gather she and Ganon are still in a metaphysical standoff after all this time. I just need to come in and push the balance. Probably."

"I'm sorry," he says sincerely. "This must be a difficult topic for you."

'Metheus doesn't seem to be quite as in tune with the emotional effect. "So, effectively, your job is to make as much noise as possible in order to distract this Ganon from the standoff so that your princess can get an opening to seal him up again? Fascinating. And really rather brave."

(Epime shakes her head in the background, and let's out a slightly frustrated, "Prometheus, really.")

"Right, well, I have to actually do some damage. Hence needing the Master Sword and to subvert his control on the Beasts."

'Sidora nods. "The Beasts? Like the...Guardians? Things like that? Just how much stuff does he have under his control?"

Sigh. "A lot. The Divine Beasts and the Guardians are most of the Sheikah stuff. The rest of them are relatively pedestrian monsters. Moblins, Lizalfos, Bokoblins, 'Wizzes, Lynels, Talus, Hinox, and a few different minor incarnations of Ganon himself. The guardians and the Divine Beasts are the most troublesome by far, though Lynels are hardly pushovers either."

"But there's also a problem of numbers if you don't have an army to fight back with," 'Sidora muses. "Because it sounds like he has an army. Lynels? What're those?"

"Uh, horse-monster? Except it has arms and a head and horns and magic arrows and is really big and muscular and aggressive. And tough. More dangerous than Guardians in some ways."

"That sounds... sub-optimal. I assume that they are capable of learning in a way that the Guardians are not?"

"I don't really know. I've fought a few, it's kind of hard to tell how smart it is? Not stupid like Guardians are though. It knew to dodge."

"Simple ability to recognise danger then. Does not confirm intelligence. Although frequently hard to confirm intelligence of a creature you are trying to murder, or is trying to murder you." She pauses. "I am assuming that there is no way that has yet been discovered to disable Sheikah technology from a distance?"

"I'm not sure I like the tone of this line of thought. Ganon's monsters murder everything they can except each other. And sometimes each other. Sure, they make camps and stuff, but they don't do art or games unless it's sparring practice and they don't have a language and they're evil."

"I was not arguing that they are the enemy, although I have not, as such, encountered 'evil' as an absolute. I will have to accept your word on this. And I rather anticipate that you have absolutely no option in your dealings with them. If it is kill or be killed, I would rather suggest killing before dying. It seems the wiser choice on the whole."

"I am more curious about Epimetheus' question regarding whether or not you had attempted to discover a way to shut down Sheikah technology from a distance? Although if you are at a lower level - no offence - of technology than they themselves were, I rather suspect that it would be unlikely that you have succeeded in manufacturing technology capable of depowering them..."

She makes a broad shrug. "Purah and Robbie are the only people I've heard of who know much about tech. Purah fixed the Slate, once. Robbie makes armor that's good at softening Guardian shots."

"I feel that I would have rather liked to meet them," Prometheus says. "I do like talking technology with people and comparing notes. And perhaps I would have been able to assist them in creating something to take out the Guardians that is less of a risk to life and limb. Then again, perhaps not."

"If you could make me a Guardian cannon of my very own I'd be willing to part with quite a lot. Like. Ten thousand rupees, where my house cost three thousand."

"...Well, I could hardly ask you to pay more than your house is worth!" Prometheus sounds almost scandalised at that suggestion. "And I cannot promise it will be an accurate replica, but if you do not mind me borrowing the core I can probably figure something out? Do you have any other specifications to the weapon? Given the power output this has, if it's not being required to power movement of something the size of a house, I rather expect I will be able to increase the power output to several times the output a Guardian gets..."

'Sidora chuckles. "He will be honestly offended if you don't let him build it now."

"It's a small house. And..." She describes Guardian beams as she wants them replicated. They're not a laser. They might be a plasma bolt of some kind? A plasma bolt that travels at about fifty meters a second, doesn't suffer any gravity drop or inaccuracy, and doesn't lose power over distance.

Prometheus makes a thoughtful sound. Produces a tablet computer of his own and starts producing simulations, trying to work out the best way to make this work. "This may take a few minutes," he admits. "But I am sure I can manage something."

"I've got more guardian bits for you to work with." Tap, tap, appear. 

They're various mechanical pieces. Springs, gears, shafts, plating, screws. All kind of stupidly durable and surprisingly light, but not much else.

Prometheus pokes at the bits, scans them, nods. "This will definitely help with assembly," he states, adjusting his calculations. "Would you mind if I took these, temporarily? I do not think that Bar would be best pleased at me assembling a weapon in the main area? Besides which, I have more materials in our rooms?"

"He is not intending to steal them," Epimetheus feels the need to clarify. "He will be insulted that I even thought that needed clarifying."

(Prometheus does, indeed, seem mildly insulted.)

"Yeaaah sorry but I don't know you lot from the Yiga, how about a little collateral?"

"How do people stand in terms of collateral?" Epimetheus asks, tilting her head. "If I am understanding Sir's feelings on this matter correctly he has no intention of going anywhere any time soon? Equally we have a weapon or two of our own that we can hand to you until such a time as Prometheus is ready to return your new weapon to you?"

"Some sum of money, or something sentimental, or that weapon, or whatever. Just... Enough that if you decided to run off with the core I wouldn't have gotten nothing out of it, and I expect to hand it all right back in a few hours and either get a shiny Guardian beam or the news that it's impossible."

'Sidora looks thoughtful for a moment, and then reaches into the collar of his shirt to pull two rings on a leather string. He undoes a clasp at the back, and holds it out.

('Metheus makes a distressed sound, and 'Sidora hushes him.)

"Our parents engagement rings," he says, gesturing at himself, Epime and 'Metheus. "Trust me when I say we're not going anywhere without them."

She nods carefully. "Thank you, and - sorry we both have to trust."

"We do," 'Sidora agrees, with a slight nod. "I think you're not the kind of person to run off with something unless you thought it was warranted."

"With permission, I will withdraw to construct?" Prometheus says, tilting his head slightly.