"Are you set for History?"
"I know. I suck. ...I genuinely did miss you, and... I'd been thinking... I know it doesn't matter, just. I felt embarrassed, and the more time that passed the more embarrassing it got to think about talking to you again until I eventually kinda... just... stopped thinking about it."
He sighs again but opens his eyes. "One of the Kokonoe alphas is pressing charges against Yamada for aggravated assault, claiming it was unprovoked. Yamada had been protecting a middle schooler from the alpha. But... he's also beat up other Kokonoe kids and... there's no way they're not gonna join the bandwagon..."
Aoki knows what he was thinking anyway. "Yeah, there's no way the you of however long ago would've done the same thing. Well, good. Good, I'm happy for you." He grabs his phone and starts tapping at it. "Honestly, Mother is going to go nuts over this, she's never said so openly but whenever I heard of Yamada helping another kid through the grapevine she seemed super pleased."
Ōta Makino is in the middle of a meeting with a client when she sees her phone light up on the table from the corner with a message from her son. It's not urgent, he'd call if it were, so she finishes the meeting before checking the message.
And then she vibrates with a mix of excitement and rage. Excitement because she's such a huge fan of Yamada Inori, and rage because fucking alphas.
She tries calling Yamada, first, but her son's message does mention he might not answer, so after the call fails she stops and takes a deep breath. Calling an alpha. Sure, a seventeen-year-old one, but it's the seventeen-year-old heir to the larger part of the Kokonoe empire.
Why did Yamada start dating him? And it's caused him this headache. Nothing good comes of getting involved with alphas, especially those alphas.
Nothing to it.
So polite. ...no, Makino, stop projecting. Everyone is polite, this has nothing to do with anything.
"Is Yamada Inori near you? I tried to call him just now and he didn't pick up, but I'd been told he often misses calls and that I should call you if he did. Could I talk to him?" It's extremely suspicious, though.
You'll let him know, huh?
...still, a lot more helpful than he could've been.
"That would be ideal, thank you. I will call him in a minute." Then she hangs up and... waits. This kind of maybe-adversarial relationship is still pretty thrilling, though, and one of the reasons she went into Law. Nothing makes her feel more alive than this.
That's about one of the least reassuring things he could've said. "You may share the contents of this conversation with him at a later point if you judge it safe but I would prefer it if initially it were a conversation between only you and me. If you do not have a safe way to do this, please respond with 'I'm sorry, Ma'am, but I don't think you're talking to the right person'." Plausibly deniable enough unless she's being directly overheard.
...hm, if Kokonoe already knew who she was then even if Yamada is out of earshot Kokonoe might still press him on details later.
"Our firm focuses on corporate law but my husband and I have a history of activism for omega rights. And when we can, we take cases where rich people—and let's be frank, here, it's mostly rich alphas—are abusing the corruption of the system to oppress omegas."
"We do not," she interrupts, being very firm abou that. "Yamada-san, we do this pro bono. My husband and I, we became lawyers because we wanted to change things and make it harder for, as you say, 'shitty alphas' to get away with all that they get away with. If this goes to trial we'll be there for you, but we want to try to make it not go to trial at all. We're going to need your help. Are you up for it?"
That's what they all say...
...well, no, it isn't. And also if half the stories she's heard about this boy are true, she kinda does think it's very probable there's no way Kokonoe would survive an encounter with him that he didn't want to have.
Still. She softens, a bit, again. "You can understand my worry, though? He is the Kokonoe heir..."
He sounds like he's in love. She really wishes that were reassuring.
"Well, we'll be in touch to talk about this further on Monday. If there's anything you'd like to discuss or ask, feel free to message me, and for anything urgent you can call me. I'll message you my email and my husband's phone number and email, too. It's been a pleasure to finally meet you."
She is really hoping that this is what it looks like and there won't be any nasty surprises later. From a purely pragmatic standpoint, if Kokonoe is in fact a good person then the money and influence he'd bring Yamada would be nothing to scoff at. But if he were a really good person he'd be doing something about everything that's an unfair requirement, the kid's seventeen, he hasn't had time to do anything of import if he is that good.
...maybe they should look more closely into him. She sends Inori the contact information she promised him then messages her husband about it. He's got the kinds of contacts that'd let him find out more about Kokonoe Tōkan.
Subaru did mean it when he said he enjoyed Aoki's presence and missed him but he'd forgotten how nice it actually felt from the inside to hang out. Aoki's humour tends incredibly acid, and his murmured commentary on the terrible romcom they picked to watch had him having to hold back laughter in the theater. He has to go home afterwards but they agree to have dinner together on Monday and catch up some more.
He starts his way back home, then, and finally checks his phone to see that Tōkan messaged him.
> hey
> you know who called us today?
> Ōta Makino!
> was that you?
Huh. Aoki was probably right, then; his mum probably is a huge fan of Inori's. That's kind of funny.
oh cool <
that was quick <
yeah that was me <
I thought I would have to be the one to tell you the news <> well, thank you!
> this is
> I just have no idea what I could possibly say here
> this is just... huge
> likeit's fine <
I was not about to let Inori go to jail <
or even if not jail it would still have been a hefty fine and a criminal record <
but it could well have ruined this life <> I mean yeah
> exactly
> so you've
> saved us, really
He blushes, and feels a little silly for it. No one's even looking at him. But he still just... really likes being praised by Tōkan. He's still down bad.
I think that's a bit of an exaggeration <
but yeah, I hope it works <
I'll always be here for you, and if you two stay together then I guess that means I'll always be here for him, too <> ...damn
> Subaru you are the actual best
> lemme treat you to dinner
> or a blowjob
> or both
Fuck.
This does kinda make him a little bit horny, but... but...
no, thank you <
No, that's too abrupt and curt, and it'll be weird. He backspaces all of that.
I think I'll pass this time <
Which implies he won't pass next time. Which, like, yeah maybe he actually won't, he's not sure.
Ughhhhhh.
maybe later <
That still implies the same thing. But he thinks it sounds more natural?
but I don't want to feel like I did this for a reward <
it's just the least I could do, given that I could <> yeah, how exactly did you?
> like, what's your connection to Ōta?
...Tōkan knows Aoki. They've met once. But for some reason Subaru doesn't really... want... to bring it up. He probably knows that Aoki's family name is Ōta but that's not an incredibly uncommon name so he won't make the connection. Subaru hopes.
He's having some feelings, here.
it's complicated <
or not really <
but uh we can talk about it later maybe <
or not I'm not sure if I want to talk about it <> fair enough
> don't wanna pressure you into anything that'd make you uncomfortable
> just... thank you
> thank you so muchdon't mention it <
Subaru puts his phone away and sighs deeply, turning to stare into the night sky.
He wants to move on.
This is the first time. It hasn't happened before. He told Tōkan he knew his feelings wouldn't be reciprocated, told himself as much, but he didn't really believe it. He was fooling himself, fooling them both. He, he did kind of hope that maybe one day Tōkan would come to love him. Or maybe Tōkan would be aromantic and then it wouldn't matter, they could just be together and it would be fine.
But he's not and it won't be. He's very clearly in love with Inori, and it hurts so, so much to watch. To see, in real time, what exactly it is that Subaru's always wanted, that he burns for, and watch it be given to someone else. And he can't even hate Inori. He can't, he tried but he can't, Inori is actually great, he thinks the both of them could actually be good friends. And he couldn't hate someone Tōkan loves.
He hates himself.
It hurts, hurts all the time. He doesn't want to distract himself from it anymore, it just really hurts. He wants to feel it, to feel the hurt, he wants to, to...
To stop walking, to sit on a bench and put his face in his hands and cry.
stupid stupid stupid stupid why is he so stupid why is it so hard to get over this why is it all hitting him all at once like this he didn't want this he wants Tōkan but he can't have Tōkan he will never have Tōkan he knew this he has known this for years and what he really wants is to just stop. suffering. so. much. he wants to stop he wants this to end god he's being such a pathetic whiny teenager but who cares he is a teenager and he gets to be pathetic and whiny sometimes and it hurts hurts hurts
He can't fuck Tōkan anymore. That's just so fucking obvious he's not sure how he missed it. Not sure how Tōkan missed it, that seems like it should've been obvious to him of all people. It's not just that it feeds his hope, it's that it feels nice, it feels comfortable, it feels affectionate. It feels like getting crumbs of what he really wants, like getting controlled hits of his favourite drug, and it makes it impossible for him to really let go. It's dumb pride, is what it is, it's them thinking all of the rules for other people don't apply and that they can be Mature and Responsible and Emotionally Stable.
Well, he's crying in a park in the middle of the evening because of it. So much for that.
He might need to get some distance from Tōkan, though, not just stop fucking, and that hurts a lot more. The thought of having less of him in his life, the thought of pulling away, it makes Subaru double over and sob. He's making such a public scene.
But he just can't do this anymore, can't hope anymore, can't keep pining.
He just can't.
He's been crying for over half an hour, now, and his selfie camera shows him that he definitely looks like it. Goddamnit. He tries to wipe his eyes as best he can and stays there for a bit longer so the sweat can dry and so his face is less flushed, it would be mortifying to walk around looking like that. Once he's satisfied with it, he gets up again and walks back home.
Subaru doesn't meet up with Tōkan over the weekend, and that works fine for him. On Monday, though, he knows he'll have to face his feelings.
Something is off, though. He can't tell what, some of his friends still greet him fine and don't seem to be acting weird, but... there are looks. Probably the fight on Friday? Weird, though, it's not like fights are uncommon, even if that one was reasonably big, relatively. The reason doesn't really occur to him until it's one minute before class starts and Tōkan is still not there. If he'd skipped class altogether, he'd have messaged Subaru, so...
He shrugs. "It's irritating, and most irritating of all was how it just kinda happened all of a sudden. I'll need to eventually figure out what to do about it but..." He grins, and it's one of the fakest grins Subaru has ever seen on Tōkan's face. "It is rather despair-inducing for stuff to happen like that with no warning."
"Tami-chan telling me that her boyfriend was acting kinda grumpy, and Ishiyo mentioning later that she'd seen him and Karato having an argument the other day. Naoko passing me a note in class. Taro stealing nervous glances between me and Takuo. Hōji yelling at me earlier, she's really not the kind to bottle things up and I have no idea how this managed to just suddenly explode."
He takes a deep breath and shrugs. "Dunno. Could try to think about it but a lot of this shit is kinda subconscious, you know? When stuff fits it clicks. When the little models of people I have in my head start saying the same things they said in real life, when everyone makes sense. Everyone doesn't make sense right now."
Subaru chokes on his smoke and turns away to cough it out. Damnit, he'd been doing such a good job of not thinking about it until then, and now it's back on his mind and he has no idea what to do about it.
...probably nothing. Definitely nothing while Inoue and Tanaka are here, but... Tōkan's got enough on his plate already.
Okay, Subaru... doesn't want to listen to that. He looks away again, tuning their conversation out and continuing to smoke and think. Tōkan was right, it is weird as fuck that all of that happened, in a way Subaru's having a lot of trouble with, now that it's been pointed out. What happened? What changed? It can't just have been people confirming that Tōkan was dating Inori, can it...? It doesn't click.
The conversation suddenly stops, though, when Tōkan's phone rings and he looks—well, kinda scared, is what he looks, when he sees who's calling. "Hi? ...motherfuckers. Have you called Ōta-san? ...I'll call her. When? ...fuckers. But it's good that it took them this long, I think, means they're struggling to build a case—this isn't legal advice. I'll call Ōta-san. I'll be on may way to your place soon." He gets to his feet right then and starts pacing. "Of course, I'll do that now. Thank you for calling me, Haru."
Tōkan is already on the phone again, though, and gets straight to business. "Yeah. Inori just got detained by the police." Pause. "I hope so. Thank you so much, Ōta-san." Another pause, then he hangs up and is striding away. "I have to go, I'm sorry," he says, throwing the other three an apologetic look and flying off.
Subaru has a hard time paying attention to class for the rest of the day, and to the extent the "miasma" is affecting him he's thankful for it; he's really not in the mood for the alpha teenager version of socialisation. Tōkan texts him when he and Inori's parents get to the precinct, and then much later when Ōta Makino is out of the interrogation room with news. There's something about his texts that makes Subaru think he finally made the connection between the lawyers and Subaru's ex, which he guesses was to be expected, really. But Tōkan doesn't press, and Subaru doesn't go there either, and they end the conversation on the note that Subaru wants to be told of any further developments.
"Yeah, there's like obviously money involved—not that she can say that, not to Kokonoe or the Yamadas—but money can only do so much." He smiles, a thin predatory smile that would be jarring on Aoki's boyish face if it didn't somehow also perfectly fit. "Spinning a story can do a lot more. Mother knows how to tell a story, and Father knows how to find the best people to listen."
"Oh, they are. You really don't ever want to be up against them." He sounds very proud. "There are a couple of people in the country who could put up a fight, in some cases, but none of them would take this case, not even if Kokonoe Tochima himself is the one backing—why are you pulling that face."
Aoki grins that same sharklike grin again. "She eats men like him for breakfast. That kind of mentality right there? That makes it personal. And I wasn't joking when I said not even Kokonoe Tochima has enough money to convince anyone who can stay toe to toe with my parents to work this case. It is too obviously going to fail."
"Oh please don't tell me you fell for my lie on Friday, do I have to make everything explicit? If you tell me you're exploring your sexuality again after growing up a bit and I tell you I'm not letting you experiment with me obviously you should plausibly deniably experiment with me anyway."
Aoki harrumphs but the waiter chooses this moment to ask them what they'll want for dinner. They scramble to look through their options on the menu, which they've been ignoring so far, and eventually Subaru picks for both of them since Aoki sucks at making choices.
When the waiter's gone he says, "Nah, let's do it anyway. We're teenagers, now's when we get to fuck up and pick up the pieces afterwards if we break. Which is not to say we shouldn't still be smart about it, obviously, like I dunno maybe you do need a big fat knot to get sexually satisfied—"